To be glad I had a son

[ashamedNC]

I've name changed for this because it's not something I'm proud of and I don't think I'll come across well but I wanted to see if I was alone.

I always thought I would have a daughter, it wasn't so much that I wanted one just that there are so many girls in my family I'd kind of got it in my head that I'd have one too. I found out while I was pregnant that DS was DS and didn't think much more of it really.

Once he was born I started thinking about what his life might be like, how the world would change in his lifetime etc and I realised all the things he wouldn't have to go through just because he was male. No catcalling, no pinched bums from old men. Much less pressure on looks. He'll be listened to more in the workplaces. He'll probably earn better. The list goes on and on.

I know it's not right and I will continue to use my voice for change for women but, selfishly, I was relieved. I know that as a white male with married parents living in an owned home he had privileges not afforded to some and I'm relieved.

I have one of each. My daughter is in my mould, opinionated, strong willed, capable, and can think for herself. At 8 she surprises me every day and while I worry, I also think she is enough like me that I can trust she'll figure it all out ok and come out on top.

My son, the younger, is much quieter and more emotional. I worry he won't fit in, but then I look at my friends son, the same but 10 years older, and he found his crew and they all support each other.

TBF I worry full stop what world they are growing into.

I remember posting a thread in AIBU a few years ago saying I only wanted sons for all the reasons discussed here. I was called mental, hysterical, told to get a grip, more than one poster suggested therapy.

I have three daughters - it's my husband who feels really worried about what to do when their two old to go in the mens toilets with him etc.. he's petrified that there will come a point that he cant protect them. He takes our oldest boxing with him.

I do wonder if I would have the same worry if they were sons.

Ofcourse I'm petrified about what happens when they start social media, secondary school ect.