Any more new recruits?

[mcduffy]

My DH was slightly startled when I burst into tears last night when I read JKR's essay whilst our DC were watching a post-dinner film. I sent him the link to it and I think I've created a (GC) monster. He's spent the last 24 hours sending it to all his friends individually and asking them for their views (including counterpoints). He's just reported back to me that the best they can come up with is sex being "assigned" at birth, gender identity being innate and "a fucking unicorn".
I hate the "DH says" posts usually but just thought I'd relay that this radicalised-by-mumsnet feminist has doubled your money and men in their early 30s across England are having to deal with some awkward questions from a tenacious friend!
Anyone else have any converts?

It's heartening to read that some young people get it. I worried that the younger generation were all of the TWAW persuasion. Friends with daughters in their teens and early 20s say that their daughters think it's as important as the gay rights movement in the 80s. How depressing.

My OH gets it completely. And he has a beard! I was never 'woke' but I remember a boss a few years ago asking if I was going to sign the petition that was going around supporting the transwoman who had been charged with violent assault going into a women's prison. He joked that 'I was a feminist so surely I'd be supporting this'. I looked into it and saw that this man (can't remember his name) had a website on which he described his "8 inch surprise" and I think had twice been convicted of violent assault. I told my boss that no way would I be signing that petition and that was the first I really thought about it.

A few years later a dear friend of mine decided at a grand old age that he had always been a woman. I am embarrassed by his performance of womanhood (manicures and lipstick) and I am offended by his assumption that he can decide he is a woman overnight.

This friend's transition, such as it is, also helped to peak trans my OH but he is sensible anyway and completely gets it. I think many people out of the Twittersphere do. My parents and two aunts definitely think it's all nonsense (am I allowed to say that?? I'm not sure anymore!).

Unfortunately all my friends seem to be vying for spots on the woke Olympics team and are falling over themselves to express their disdain for Rowling. I have only perhaps planted the seed of doubt though not yet converted one friend. My DH has gone from apathy to understanding over the last year, and this was certainly accelerated by Rowling's article and the misogynistic backlash she received.

What I find bemusing and illogical is all the disgusting slurs mentioning JKR's "coochie". I can honestly say I have never, ever given a moment's thought to another woman's vagina/vulva. For a group that considers genitalia irrelevant they are really going on about it. Also, what is the 'hag' insult that is prevalent in their comments? Is it because she is no longer young?

talkingdeadscot

How does your husband explain the much higher rate of sex offenses among the transgender population compared to other males? Their crime rate is the same in all other respects.

@FloraFox

scot you need to show your husband this study:

journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885

They looked at every single Swedish person who transitioned over a 30 year period and found that post-transition males have the same pattern of criminality as non-transitioned males.

Also, 60% of male sex transgender prisoners in UK prisons are sex offenders, that's according to Ministry of Justice figures.

Wow! That's very revealing.

I work in a very very woke place with a lot of young people. I have to keep my GC views to myself at work. I would no longer have a job if I didn't, and I need to pay the bills for my children's sake.

But, I did post JKR essay on my private Facebook page and the response I got blew my husbands mind. I had over 10 private messages saying that they thought it was brilliant but they didn't want to say it publicly for the fear of backlash and being called a TERF. Husband couldn't believe how silenced women are on this, and was disgusted and has now started looking into it more. I have a long way to go for being more open myself, but I am getting there. I even replied on twitter to a TRA complaint that "JK is wrong and not all women menstruate" and I have yet to receive a backlash.

@TehBewilderness

talkingdeadscot

How does your husband explain the much higher rate of sex offenses among the transgender population compared to other males? Their crime rate is the same in all other respects.

I don't know that he's even looked into it.

When we first started having discussions about this (relatively recently) I sent him a couple of articles. One I think about gender colonialism, who's analysis he disagreed with. Not sure how he rationalised it as he's a man but hey.

I think I get frustrated because I just can't articulate my arguments properly and I get confused that he can't see how circular his discussion is. I did get cross when he referred to me a cis woman and told him why I find it insulting. Yet this is a man who wouldn't even call me his 'wife' a couple of years ago because I'm not property. But he can't see that's he's all up for taking away my language and identity??????

We've left it for the moment with the proviso that we do more research and revisit the issue in a couple of weeks.

I won't lie, it does my head in that he could even think the poor trans people need women's spaces because 'male violence' aaargghhhh

Like a lot of people I was all up for the inclusion of transwomen into women's spaces until I realised that they didn't have to have the chop to be transwomen. DH knows that but got incredibly hurt when I said that a penis is a weapon because to me it is. And I would imagine it's the same for a lot of women. But that's still ok apparently because if they have lady brains they won't be violent!

Sorry to ramble on, I have no one in real life who gets it

DH is utterly on board. He abhors the hatred of women. He is very busy telling our DDs that women need safe spaces.

Two young guys I work with are equally supportive and have spoken to me about it.

It saddens me when some posters have no experience of support from men. I value it just as I value the support of my female friends too.

And I have at least made it an issue in groups I attend too.

I spoke to my dad last night on FaceTime. He's an old-school retired copper, we haven't had much in common politically for the past few years (thanks, Brexit), but he's been incredulous over the rise of identity politics and male-bodied people being allowed to compete in women's sport and I've been able to have some really good conversations with him about this. He obviously gets the massive safeguarding concerns around the whole agenda.
He said that he'd noticed I'd been liking a lot of GC stuff on twitter and that I needed to be careful... but this cat is out of the bag! As Maya said, we level up!