Pregnant and feeling so miserable about 'gender theory'

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It was when I was pregnant was DD1 (coming up to 3yrs now) that I joined MN and started reading more and more about GC feminism and learning about the harm it causes, particularly to women and girls. I'm so glad I did, but now I'm pregnant again I'm genuinely finding it so stressful. I can't sleep tonight at the utter despair I feel at sexual crimes being recorded as commited by women, pedophiles being able to identify into women's prisons, JY and his blatant red flags being ignored by so many women in the name of inclusivity, women's and girls spaces being eroded to allow men in. I'm so angry, angry that we're not allowed to question things openly without being labelled bigots. Scared for my children and the future, worried for my daughter and her safety, worried for my unborn son. Just sad, scared and furious.
I don't feel like I can speak to many people IRL as most of my friends have drank the coolaid, and whilst DH agrees with me about most issues, he doesn't share the same passion I do.
I know that I'm hormonal and particularly emotional at the moment, but even rationalising doesn't help because all the reasons I'm angry and worried are real, it's just that most of society is too afraid to question it so we're the ones that look OTT if we express our concerns.
I just think it's so so sad how far back we have stepped when it comes to women's rights.
I guess I'm just looking for some solidarity with like minded people, or some advice on how others don't allow themselves to be overwhelmed by it.
Thanks in advance x

My only real experience with feeling like these issues were affecting me was when I asked politely in a Facebook group what experience people had with gender scans. Got immediately jumped on, called a bigot, lectured on why sex was different to gender (I have a career in science...) and for good measure was told I was obsessed with my child’s genitals. As a survivor of CSA this last point was actually really upsetting to me, the idea that I was deeply obsessed with my unborn child’s genitalia. I have known a number of young women who have come out as trans, and I worry about them and how unhappy they are. For me that is more of a worry than people like JY - I know from first hand experience abuse happens in literally every setting so don’t allow myself to think about it too much. This is my first baby so just figuring out as a I go along.

It sounds like you're in a lonely place, so it's sensible of you to reach out. I'm fairly new to posting here myself. I lurked for a long time, but didn't post cos I'm not a mum. I decided to start posting here for similar reasons to you, although my friends aren't TRAs, most aren't engaged with what's happening. Even though they're all parents. I think that's changing a little, some are even liking my FB posts that seek to centre women.
I don't feel despair so much as anger, I'm really angry at what's happened. Anger is a great motivating emotion. And many people are angry and have done lots of work quietly, and not so quietly, and I see some progress being made. I'm not overly optimistic, there is much to be done.
I'm not suggesting you have to participate in any activism, with a young child and baby on the way, you likely won't have the time. But I think your feelings of despair might be alleviated if you knew what other people are doing, what progress is being made (even if it seems a small victory). Have a read of the Baroness Nicholson thread and the ones where school toolkits are being withdrawn, might make you feel more hopeful.
I'm sure other posters will be along with their experience and advice.

Thanks for both of your replies. In the light of day I feel a little less emotional, although all of my points still stand.
Juniper, congratulations on your pregnancy and I'm sorry about the responses you've got in re to your babies genitals. It seems to be a typical response of TRAs and their allies, people seem to think the mere awareness of biological reality is some sort of heinous attack on the trans community. It's insane.
Xpectations - welcome to the wonderful world of MN! hopefully we'll get to see more of you in the feminist discussions now you've broken your lurker status. I've found it to be full of insightful, thought provoking and intelligent discussion!
I'm a lurker on twitter, but don't post anything, but yes do follow Baroness Nicholson and everything that's been going on with School Alliance etc. It is heartening to at least see bits of advocacy for women working and chipping away at the insanity that has become reality. Let's hope it gains more traction.

I think it's right to be optimistic, we do seem to be coming to a turning point.
The thing about gender ideology is that it's completely and utterly unsustainable. Yes some people are trans, some people have terrible gender dysphoria band so on, but the ideology that is behind removing women's rights simply can't carry on and we are beginning to see this.

Just because no-one has mentioned this yet, pre-natal depression is also a thing and if you're finding your mood is constantly low, might be worth discussing your feelings with your GP or midwife.

Every generation of women has had to fight against the oppression of our sex, OP. It might help you to put it in a historical context- we look back and admire the suffragettes who had to fight for our right to vote, for example. I’m sure many women then felt anger and despair, too.
Future generations will look back and admire our fight to preserve women’s single sex spaces - sports, changing rooms, refuges, prisons etc from invasion by any males, transgender or otherwise, who wanted to enter them.
They will be amazed that any violent criminal, voyeur or sex attacker was allowed to self identify as a woman for that purpose, and also amazed that we apparently believed humans can change sex.
The tide is definitely turning - people are at last waking up to safeguarding issues, to the scandal of damaging children’s health on unlicensed puberty blockers, to the homophobia of demanding lesbians accept partners with “lady penises”, to the women losing out on sports medals and scholarships from unfair competition by men, to women forced to address their rapist as “she” in court. The list is endless, and awareness is growing. Don’t despair OP - we will win this. We have to.

HI OP

Congrats on your pregnancy.

If you spend a lot of time reading about here and other places it can feel overwhelming. There are a lot of great women and men pushing back on the inherent misogyny and contradictions that gender ideology demands though.

If it's making you feel down I would step back for a little bit and focus on real life. Most of us do that from time to time and it's really helpful to recharge and think about something else. It will still be ongoing if and when you feel ready to dip your toes back in.

Other than that just pick and choose which bits you engage with. Contributing to fundraising, joining in letter writing campaigns can all feel like positive steps. Arguing with random anime characters on Twitter does not (not suggesting you are doing this) and will suck the life out of you after a while.

Even on this board I don't involve myself or read every single thing going because it becomes all consuming. As others have said there is progress being made and despite what some activists would have you think women and children matter too and plenty of people recognise this.

I echo the thing about it taking over a bit. I've stepped back from regularly checking Glinner's timeline because although he seems to be less intense since his suspension, it was I think not healthy for me to keep getting so angry and frustrated about it all. Particularly as at the moment because of work I'm doing I can't really share any GC tweets.
I do feel better for looking more at other stuff and hanging out here more than Twitter.
I think it's natural when you're pregnant to think about the future and wonder about the world we're bringing our kids into. Perhaps turn your attention away from GC issues and try to make small positive changes for the planet instead? Reducing disposable plastic in your home, using the car less, picking up bits of litter etc might help you feel you're doing something tangible to improve the world they're inheriting?

Hi OP, yes, I hear you. I have two very small daughters and feel helpless sometimes. But then I remember although I was happier when I didn't know about these issues, it's better for the female sex that I do know about them! I help by spreading the word in real life (lots of sporty friends that really get it), donating to campaigns and anything else I can reasonably do.

Hi Op, in many circles people haven’t noticed gender theory yet. Yes, feminists do have a battle with with the “Islington elite” and if you live in Brighton you may face issues IRL. But your little one will be allowed to be an individual and have sex recognised for biological reality in most places, even in 2020.
Even online. I searched for “Desmond is Amazing” on twitter yesterday and almost all twits were concerned about this child. Few thought that what we could see of Desmond’s home life was actually in the child’s interests.
From my part of the country I do think feminists might win, before your child is impacted.