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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Asking for some advice & guidance

6 replies

Onebigfoot · 26/05/2020 10:09

Hi & thanks for reading

Over recent years thanks to lurking on the feminist boards & Mumsnet in general I've become more aware of the threat to female only spaces & the general erasure of women. I've been quite horrified at the censure of those who support women only spaces not to mention the deplatforming of academics like Alice Sullivan.

I'd like to ask you for guidance on how to support this issue.

Is the best way forward for someone like me who has no specialist knowledge of this area (and realises what a huge & complex subject it is to try & fully grasp) to follow feminist groups on social media, donate where I can to campaigns & write to my MP, the equalities minister etc. as well as making people aware of this in IRL?

Thanks for in advance for any words of advice you can offer.

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Shedbuilder · 26/05/2020 10:13

Just keep reading the posts on Feminism Chat, following the links to articles and learning. Some people have been writing and alerting people to this issue for years and there's a tremendous amount of material written on it here and elsewhere. It's a case of reading, thinking and gradually building up the bigger picture.

NonnyMouse1337 · 26/05/2020 11:00

It sounds like you're doing a good job already. It definitely takes time to understand all the interconnected and complex ways the trans lobby intersects with issues like women's rights, freedom of speech, children's rights and so on. So keep reading the threads here and participating.
No one will ever become an expert in all these issues, but over time you will start to gain a deeper and more well-rounded view.

Your ideas sound like a sensible starting point - create a separate account for social media if you'd like to protect your privacy and keep it separate from your professional and personal life. Follow groups and individuals who are vocal and outspoken on these topics. I find a lot of news gets posted in this forum anyway so it's rare to miss out on what's going on elsewhere.

Donate to crowdfunders if and when you can, write to politicians - even send some of them thank you cards if they seem to be standing up for women's rights. It makes a big difference to receive an actual physical card with a thoughtful message of thanks. The appreciation and support feels more tangible, if that makes sense.

Fill in public consultations, please! They can be tedious and long, but every response helps.

You can speak to family and friends. It doesn't have to be directly about trans issues or confrontational. You can highlight certain problems or conflicts via thoughtful questions. People don't change their mind overnight. It took a while for you of reading and thinking things over before you came to a decision. A lot of people have never given these topics much consideration before. You might find it frustrating that they resort to simplistic answers, but be patient. It can be difficult to connect all the dots. My partner used to think I was being a bit dramatic and conspiracy theory minded when I was initially talking about the erasure of women's rights and the trans lobby. I think seeing the case of Maya Forstater where the fact that there are only two biological sexes (a position held by the vast majority of people including the scientific community) was proclaimed by the judge to be incompatible with society, Harry Miller and the 'non-crime' hate crimes, academics being hounded out or harassed etc have made him a bit more reflective and appreciative of what's at stake here. He's not dismissive of my concerns anymore.

When lockdown eases up, I'd imagine some of the grassroots women's groups might hold public events again. If you can make it along to some of them that would be great. It makes a big difference to meet like-minded people in person. Online interactions are nice, but can still feel isolating at times. You might make friends and know there are others like you in your local area.

You don't have to be an expert to help out in small ways - there might be audio or video clips that need transcribing; long, detailed documents that need reading through to pick out what areas have been captured by the trans lobby - we've seen the good work with parents examining school material and flagging up problematic stuff being taught to their children or policies that contravene the law.

You've done the biggest and hardest step though - reading the evidence and arguments from different sources and making up your mind. A lot of people shy away from engaging as soon as something is labelled 'transphobic' or 'unkind'. You have used your critical thinking skills and looked beyond that to examine the issues for yourself. Smile

Onebigfoot · 26/05/2020 11:57

Thanks for the detailed replies. I can't tell you how much I appreciate them. When I've chatted to people in real life about this most seem to agree and are shocked to be told that they could easily be branded as bigots.

I was quite stunned by one friend in academia who resorted to yelling at me, when I didn't agree that men should be allowed in women spaces.

In the interim I will keep reading, watching and learning as much as I can. This all feels like such a scandal hidden in plain sight.

Thanks again

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AsTreesWalking · 26/05/2020 17:43

Thank you for asking OP, and others for the subsequent advice.
I've always considered myself a feminist, but am only really reading about it now. I was taken in by the 'be kind' mantra for a while, but this board has really opened my eyes.
It was because of things I had read - directed from here - that I felt able to object to a ridiculous PSHCE lesson that I was expected to deliver to yr12 at 45mins notice. (I still have my job)

stumbledin · 26/05/2020 18:02

Another thing you can do is keep an eye on your local paper and council because so many parts of society have fallen under the trans spell.

And even if you dont feel able to write directly whether about toilets, or the council talking about gender and the EA when it should be sex and the EA, you can come on mumsnet and let us all know!

Onebigfoot · 27/05/2020 09:47

Thanks stumbledin I will definitely be keeping my eyes open as well as writing some letters.

I don't know if this is normal but when I first started becoming aware of these issues (I think it was when there was a consultation document around these issues that took me hours to fill in) I felt bemused by it all. The more I read the more I became quite annoyed that what to me seems like common sense had gone out of the window. Currently I'm feeling a deep sense of sadness that what appears to have all of the hallmarks of a blatantly flawed ideology has seeped so far into public life and education.

I'm sure it will pass & I've donated to Maya Forstater's Crowd Justice campaign this morning which has perked me up.

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