Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Donating to a domestic abuse charity

18 replies

tinselvestsparklepants · 09/04/2020 18:36

I'd like to, as I can't bear the thought of what some people, women especially, are dealing with in lockdown.

Can anyone recommend a good one - one that spends its money well? I've had a search for one local to me (SW) and it's not obvious how to donate - I'm less sure of the national charities. Thought you'd be able to help. Thanks.

OP posts:
kitk · 09/04/2020 18:46

Try the givewell website- easy to see which charities spend their money best. I couldn't argue with women's aid tho personally

PositiveVibez · 09/04/2020 18:50

Someone put a link to refuge on here the other day and I donated by buying a package. There are several you can choose from, but it's thinks like sanitary protection for the women and some stuff for children.

truthisarevolutionaryact · 09/04/2020 19:12

Nia - founded by the awesome Karen Ingala Smith (who the Labour Party don't want in their party - shame on them)

niaendingviolence.org.uk/

tinselvestsparklepants · 10/04/2020 09:04

Brilliant, thanks all. I'll look into all of the above.

OP posts:
stumbledin · 10/04/2020 14:51

It might be worth thinking about your local women's refuge.

Those mentioned above are high profile and well funded compared to smaller local refuges.

Find your local refuge at www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

There has also been an appeal by Women's Aid who have online chat support and are experiencing a huge increase in demnad, but need money to keep it going. www.womensaid.org.uk/urgent-appeal/

I'm not against anyone having their favourite charity but we can inadvertnetly help the lack of equality of financial support between sister services if we just repeat the names of the well known ones.

stumbledin · 10/04/2020 14:53

Unfortunately even though the Welsh and Scottish Governments have recognised the need for domestic violence services, Westminster hasn't. Angry

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3874632-Both-the-Welsh-and-Scottish-Governments-have-pledged-money-to-Womens-Aid-why-hasnt-Westminster-done-the-same

Thinkingabout1t · 12/04/2020 20:36

I am a bit disillusioned with Women's Aid since they began allowing men/ transwomen to work in reception. A traumatised woman on Mumsnet was very upset by a male voice answering the phone when she rang seeking help.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3873637-Am-I-prejudiced

NIA might be a better service to support.
niaendingviolence.org.uk

Other MNers on that thread also suggested the Freedom Programme.
www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

stumbledin · 12/04/2020 23:09

Women's Aid is the federation. Each refuge is different.

The host the directory of refuges in England, and part of the search funtion lets you filter out services open to men.

So as a point of principle I think it really important that women support the local services for women in their area whether a refuge or rape crisis. And in fact we dont support local women's services then they do not have a supporting network to challenge local councils or funders who want them to include men.

SentimentalKiller · 12/04/2020 23:13

I usually make a Christmas donation
I emailed several homeless and women's refuge charities because I refuse to give money to a a charity which doesn't recognise female biology
I ended up not donating because they either didn't get back to me or they were of the TWAW variety

carriebreadshaw · 12/04/2020 23:21

Refuge is incredible and they have a few different donation schemes at the moment.

They're a little less high profile than Women's Aid and as such receive fewer donations

Thelnebriati · 12/04/2020 23:50

stumbledin Filtering out refuges that include men wont guarantee you a women only refuge. Many refuges now say that trans women are women.

Fenlandmountainrescue · 13/04/2020 01:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndWhatNext · 13/04/2020 01:05

I donate to Refuge via my work. They match my donation 100%, so even better.

stumbledin · 13/04/2020 15:13

Thelnebriati - yes I know, but I was trying to make the point by establishing a relationship with your local refuge and being a supported you can help them not only financially but also politically with funders etc..

Does anyone know that Refuge is women only?

And in terms of mainstream media Refuge has a far higher profile and more celeb support. But worse they have political support even though they dont have the feminist history of women's aid. That's why the helpline was taken away from Women's Aid and given to them by the Government even though the helpline is part of WA's heritage.

Not forgetting the scandal of the CE of Refuge's huge salary, employing family members and accusations from staff over their treatment. They are vertually a coporation, a bit like Hestia.

Women's Aid is not one thing. Women's Aid is a federation made up of individual refuges who each take the decision over working with men, including trans women etc.. That's why the pressure needs to be local. The Federation Office doesn't dictate policy. It will be the management (committee) of each refuge taking policy decisions.

carriebreadshaw · 13/04/2020 17:30

@stubledin can you share any sources on this? I've googled but I can't find anything and I'm genuinely interested as ive supported Refuge for a long time and always recommend when anyone wants to donate

bluebling · 13/04/2020 18:42

Contact your local organisation and ask them how you can donate. I did that when there was no option on the charity's website.

Thelnebriati · 13/04/2020 21:34

stumbledin I'm one of the women that fundraised to buy the local refuge. It no longer takes women and their children.

If liberal women wanted to make it mixed sex they should have bought their own refuge.

20mum · 14/04/2020 22:21

Before supporting any domestic abuse organisation, ask who they think is vulnerable. You will be astonished.

It is any woman, however self sufficient and capable of leaving, provided the offender, resident or not, has currently or at any previous time had an 'intimate personal relationship' (presumably including a one night stand), or if he conforms to a limited list of permitted family members .

It is not an old or disabled or housesharing woman however extreme the abuse carried out by carers or by fellow residents or landlords or sublandlords. Even if they rape her, the fact it was rape means it wasn't an 'intimate personal relationship '

Domestic abuse is not defined by the whether or not the victim has any realistic way to escape her home, where she is enduring it.

Instead, it is defined by whether or not the perpetrator conforms to a tick box list of permitted relationships. People should protest, but they don't know. Organisations should change the definition, but the funding stream to the industry has become a charity industry, with donations and public funds arriving, no questions asked.

No questions about such things as the amounts creamed off, as mentioned above.
No questions about including men as foxes invited into the henhouse.
No questions about the definition which technically would include Melinda Gates as helpless, and exclude your disabled friend, beaten raped or robbed by neighbours or care staff or her landlord or, if in desperation because of housing shortage she was sofa surfing or flat sharing, by anyone with keys to her only home.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.