Hello, my name is...’ NHS ‘patient-friendly’ badges - with pronouns

[Pronoun]

My manager is getting us new name badges for NHS work. The ‘hello, my name is’ campaign is meant to be for the benefit of patients; some are marketed as being specifically dementia-friendly.

I was surprised to see that there is the option to include pronouns on the badges. As these are meant to be for patient benefit, I feel a bit uncomfortable with these. My feeling is that people just want to know your name, to have a proper, friendly introduction, and to be treated as a person, so they don’t feel like an anonymous ‘case,’ or struggle to know who has been looking after them. I feel these pronoun badges run the risk of making interactions about the HCP rather than centring the patient. Am I wrong to feel this way?

As a patient I still don't need to know. It might be "patient friendly" to have badges for patients whose pronouns are not reflected by their physical presentation but not for HCPs

‘ThatIsNotMyUsername was just telling me how she thinks the new badges stink - she says it’s a dumb idea. Weren’t you ThatIsNotMyUsername?’

Maybe that would happen in a meeting, but having worked in the NHS forever, I can't imagine a scenario where I'd peer at everyone's 'my name is....' badge before addressing them in the third person. The reality is most trusts is that these badges are in addition to people's actually ID badges, and not all trusts have them, nor do people who do have them always wear them.

... but having worked in the NHS forever, I can't imagine a scenario where I'd peer at everyone's 'my name is....' badge before addressing them in the third person...

I agree. I wish the person who resurrected this zombie thread (bcml) who made the statement..

I'm a non binary NHS worker and I find it pretty stressful to have to ask 20 different colleagues every day to use my preferred they/them pronouns..

...would return and give examples of scenarios where this could happen twenty times a day.

If an HCP wishes to include pronouns on their own staff badge because the way they look doesn't reflect their gender identity then crack on. However, as a patient I don't need to know this and the patient friendly badge only needs a name and job preferably in large font so that it can be read at a distance.

It happens in group settings like meetings though, doesn't it? Or internet forums

Of course! I didn't intend to give an exhaustive list of times it can happen, was just saying that the vast majority of the time it's quite weird and awkward to talk about someone in front of them and it's bizarre to have that happen 20 times a day, or often enough to care about. The pronoun religion is very strange.
Maybe it's partly to do with the increasing onlineness of social interaction, words and gossip are less ephemeral than they used to be, so people are a lot more fixated on controlling how others speak of them.

The pronoun religion is very strange.

I suppose to 'non-binaries' it matters because it's the only external signifier of their internal 'gender identity'. They look exactly the same as loads of other people who aren't gender conformists. The only difference seems to be their expectation that other people bend over backwards to acknowledge their rejection of gender.

Personally I think it's a shame the English language has gendered personal pronouns at all, they're generally not beneficial to women. But we do, they're what people use automatically for people of either sex and expecting others to remember variants for people who are completely ordinary is an imposition.

Well I'm wrinkling my nose at the idea, but then I'm not fond of name badges anyway. I'm blind as the proverbial and my short term memory's shot to shit; if you've got a badge I'm going to get distracted berating myself for not remembering what's on it and I'd rather not run the risk of making the staff feel uncomfortable as I squint in a torso-ly direction trying to decipher the letters.

No badge at all is actually easier for me as a patient.

Outside of LGBT+ organisations I've mainly only seen use of pronouns by NHS staff and in higher education - has it crept in anywhere else?

Oh boy, this somehow went even worse than I thought it would. Just to clarify a few things before I disappear from Mumsnet forever.

So as some of you have mentioned, I mostly want my pronouns on my badge so that I can let my coworkers know that I prefer they/them pronouns. I am clearly not expecting an 80 year old dementia patient to get their head around the concept of preferred pronouns and would never be upset with them if they used he/his or she/her.

Honestly, the same goes for my colleagues. Looking back, I should have been more clear in my original post. I'm not actually out at work. I find it really difficult to find a normal way to bring preferred pronouns up without it being super awkward. So the badge would be a way of letting the 20 new people I meet every day (which is genuinely true, I get called to a lot of different wards) know my preference. If they don't use it, that's fine. Because I go to a lot of different places, people often misremember my name or forget my job role - which I'm genuinely not bothered by. The NHS is busy and no-one can be expected to remember everyone.

So if I'm very not bothered by it, why am I researching how to put it on my name badge? Two main reasons:

1. I had a young trans patient on my ward recently who sadly had attempted suicide. Thankfully they were found in time and no permanent damage was done but this is now their fourth attempt. Throughout their admission most of the staff, even though they were really trying, struggled to use their correct pronouns. Which as I said, I totally get because that sort of thing doesn't come naturally. But I can't imagine feeling so low that you want to end your life and then waking up to a bunch of HCPs not using your correct name or pronouns. It must really suck. I was trying to think of a way to let them know that I'm non binary so they'd at least know they had someone on side but again, very hard to bring up. So that's why I was researching a badge. I think at their age it would have meant a lot to me if I'd seen someone older than me in a respectable job who was open about their pronouns. Sadly, we live in a society where 50% of trans people attempt suicide in their lifetime (www.stonewall.org.uk/sites/default/files/trans_stats.pdf) and while this is obviously multifactorial, I think not seeing themselves in society and media probably contributes to a lot of them not seeing a future for themselves.

2. I want this to be an issue that people can attach a face to. It's much easier to hate the idea of a person rather than an actual person. I like to think that I'm not difficult to work with. I stay late to help people out with jobs that aren't strictly my problem. My patients appreciate the extra time I spend with them and seem grateful that I really listen to their worries. Like most people in the NHS, I come to work because I really want to make a difference. So, even if my coworkers do fundamentally hate me and my 'pronoun religion', at least it's only one thing about me which will hopefully be equalled out by the many other aspects of my personality. Maybe they even care enough to try and use my pronouns. Which in turn, I'm hoping will also help out the next trans person who rolls through the hospital needing our help.

Anyways, that's it from me. I'm sure there will be accusations that I've made this story up to make a point. Or reiterations that I'm selfish for asking exhausted NHS workers to use up brain space for my pronouns. That's up to you to decide. But to those still working in the NHS - even though clearly a lot divides us, I think we can agree that we will need each other in the coming months. I hope you and yours stay safe. Best wishes, bcml

Sadly, we live in a society where 50% of trans people attempt suicide in their lifetime (www.stonewall.org.uk/sites/default/files/trans_stats.pdf

Please don't use these suicide statistics! They have been thoroughly debunked as alarmist. As an HCP you should know better.

Sadly, we live in a society where 50% of trans people attempt suicide in their lifetime

This is a lie.

bcml
You sound rather naive? You don't bond with patients via your pronouns. You bond by being on top of your professional role with shit hot skills and knowledge. You have empathy for all patients. You bond by listening and hearing what is said to you by your patients - not by imposing your needs on them or thinking that empathy only comes from 'being the same'.
I'm sure you're a lovely hcp but the last thing a teenage suicidal patient needs is someone believing they understand how the patient feels because they're "the same as them". They need appropriate and planned psychological care and intervention, not emotional "I understand" from individuals who may have no idea about any other co morbidities / issues that the child faces.

I find it sad and self centred that you think putting your own pronouns on a badge makes someone else feel better. Kind considerate care from staff who respect us as a patient is what we all want when we're in hospital. And that bears no relation to a member of staffs bloody pronouns.

On and please don't spread misinformation, you should know better as a health care professional

@334bu

**Sadly, we live in a society where 50% of trans people attempt suicide in their lifetime (www.stonewall.org.uk/sites/default/files/trans_stats.pdf**

Please don't use these suicide statistics! They have been thoroughly debunked as alarmist. As an HCP you should know better.

Hi 334bu,

Last post I promise! Just thought you made a very good point and I should correct myself.

On further analysis, I agree the methodology of that study was fairly flawed. I did some further research and found the following peer-reviewed meta-synthesis of 42 studies:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5436370/

It found that the number of trans people who attempt suicide in their lifetime is actually closer to 29%, which I think we can probably agree is still an issue when compared against the general population which is 0.5-3.7%

I would usually edit but post to reflect this but I don't think this site has that option so I shall just post here. I agree that as an HCP, I should have double-checked. I appreciate you taking the time to correct me. Best wishes, bcml

Thanks for info Butterer and hope you managed to get some sleep.

Just to clarify a few things before I disappear from Mumsnet forever.

Last post I promise!

Why can't you stay and discuss these things bcml?

You make it sound like we are monsters waiting to gobble you up!

@persistentwoman

bcml You sound rather naive? You don't bond with patients via your pronouns. You bond by being on top of your professional role with shit hot skills and knowledge. You have empathy for all patients. You bond by listening and hearing what is said to you by your patients - not by imposing your needs on them or thinking that empathy only comes from 'being the same'. I'm sure you're a lovely hcp but the last thing a teenage suicidal patient needs is someone believing they understand how the patient feels because they're "the same as them". They need appropriate and planned psychological care and intervention, not emotional "I understand" from individuals who may have no idea about any other co morbidities / issues that the child faces.

This.

How egocentric to think that just because you both use preferred pronouns you will make a difference to that patient’s outcomes.

Also - a patient in distress or grief won’t remember who the hell you are. Might not even recognise you if they tripped over you. Won’t remember your name. They don’t care. They don’t even care as long as you are professional and give them what they need. You are the one who is supposed to be focused in them 100%.

Why is this issue to ‘special’? Why are the demands to total?

And the suicide and depression stats? Stats are very Interesting and can say whatever you want. Interestingly out of my own close family - mum and grandma were depressives. All 5 kids have depression. One is gay. The rate of suicide among rape/assault survivors I would assume is high. The depression rate among widows/widowers/amputees/Covid survivors... is also guess is high.

When I was at school the goths were the kids who were walking around with scars in their wrists. It was their narrative then.

@Lordfrontpaw

I would tippex out the pronoun bit. Absolute nonsense. If there is any doubly then Miss Jane Smith or Mr Jane Smith should suffice.

I agree.

How egocentric to think that just because you both use preferred pronouns you will make a difference to that patient’s outcomes

I don't know if it would make much of a difference, but if you know someone is trans/and/or struggling with coming out themselves, like bcml said they had someone who is trans as a patient, I think it sounds like would be reassuring and like you have someone who understands, is "on side" (for want of a better phrase) so in that regards I think it sounds like a good idea for them