Positivity Please: How can the Trans movement support someone like me and also trans women? **MNHQ adding content warning for male violence**

[naughtycat]

I'm scared of Willy's!! I really am! I'm a heterosexual woman who has been celibate for about 10 years. Reason being;

As a teenager/schoolgirl I was stalked by a stranger/adult man who continuously exposed his private parts to me. If culminated in him attacking me, in a secluded area, but in broad daylight, in a place where I should have/did feel safe. The police found him and he went to prison.

Had a massive effect on my life and future.

As an adult I was attacked by a man. Won't go in to detail, but I was helping out a man who had nowhere to stay and no one to talk too. Woke up to find his penis on my thighs. Tried to stop him, but he managed to get it in. Destroyed my life. He is currently in prison.

I'm really really scared of men.

I totally believe everyone can be who they want to be. Personally Know I'm bisexual. But I don't know what the answer is? Is it wrong to say that I am actually scared of willies/penisis...I want to be friends with trans women. It must be awful being in the body of a man when you are actually a woman. I would hate it and I feel for you.....but what do we do???

I'm so sorry for what you've been through

The answer is for TRAs to actually admit reality, and say that whilst trans rights are human rights, anyone born with a willy is male and males should absolutely be excluded from women's spaces. Penises should absolutely definitely be excluded from female spaces.

Third spaces are the answer here. The upholding of the exemptions in the Equality Act is the answer.

And there's no such thing as a woman being trapped in tthe body of a man. Gender dysphoria is one thing, autogynephilia and cross dressing another thing entirely.

Sorry you went through all that, OP.

It must be awful being in the body of a man when you are actually a woman

By definition, a woman is someone of the sex class which produces large gametes (i.e. it is a woman's body that defines her as a woman), so there is no such thing as being actually a woman but in the body of a man.

I'm sure genuine gender dysphoria must feel awful for the sufferer, though.

It must be awful being in the body of a man when you are actually a woman

It's pretty bad being in the body of a hamster, when you are actually a motorway service station.

And that makes about as much sense

I'm sure that some people are distressed about their sex.

Thank you for your replies.

My experiences in life have made me stronger. My experiences have made me be the kind of person who wants to understand and help other people, because I don't know what they have been through or how they got to where they are now.

I just got really angry and ashamed of myself because I was so upset because of 2 things;

A charity in my city is for women. The charity has been going for around 25 years. They provide psychotherapy for women. Mainly taking into account the fact that many women who have emotional problems have experienced sexual abuse/sexual violence/ domestic violence.

. They have now started using some of their funding to run a support group for trans women. I've had a few years of low cost therapy from the charity in the past.

This is a city of half a million residents. This is the only (tiny) charity that is exclusively for women. My city is a very progressive, left wing place, which I quite like.....but there are soooo many helplines, support groups etc for trans people. I'm just gutted that the only Organization in the whole city, to represent (birth) females isn't anymore

I completely agree...a 3rd Space would be the answer.

naughtycat

What the trans movement can do to support someone like you is to remove their attention from insisting that transwomen are women and entitled to all single sex spaces and provision, and acknowledge that in a limited number of situations, it's not appropriate for male, transitioned or not, to use those spaces and facilities.

The bonus being that it would free up their energy to work on actual issues, like housing, employment and societal homophobia.

I'm so sorry to say that I don't think they will take this advice, because they are not remotely interested, as a movement, in the needs and rights of women.

If transwomen actually were women, they would understand the need to keep male bodies out of our spaces - changing rooms, prisons, sports, refuges. The fact that they don’t understand and don’t care, and push their own sense of entitlement while intimidating women with insults and threats of violence, demonstrates their actual masculinity beyond any doubt.