Help me make the case to DD’s school about gendered loos!

[Rainallnight]

DD’s school has pink butterflies on the walls of the girls’ loos and blue spacemen and rockets on the walls of the boys’ loos. In 2020.

I want to email the school to start a conversation about getting it changed - does anyone have any tips for what I can say, especially any evidence I can point to about why this is so dreadful?

I get your point but schools are short of money. Unless you’re volunteering to raise the funds for redecoration I would imagine the conversation is futile.

What the above poster says. Unless you are willing to fund raise or four yourself, there just isn't the money

I am volunteering to raise money. And some parents have offered to do the painting. That wasn’t my question.

Don’t do it. Unless it’s a private school. The schools have no money. A team of us actually went in and painted the girls loos ourselves they were so hideous. I agree with your sentiment but I really wouldn’t pick this battle.

A team of parents is going to do the painting.

An enterprising parent approached a posh paint shop - they bun end of season paint and gave us loads for free. So the colours were slightly odd but hey ho beggars can’t be choosers.

Actually this thread is giving me flashbacks me and 3 friends had just finished this shit job when my friends dd came in to tell us we had painted the staff Lois. So we then had to do the girls ones. We nearly cried tbh

Just get in touch with the head and say you think the toilets need a refresh and as parents your are willing to raise the funds and do the painting yourselves.
Just be to the point, you feel its outdated and due a refresh. Nothing wrong with getting to the point and offering a solution.

Pick your battles OP. At least your children have same sex loos. Countless children are forced to share toilets with the opposite sex and girls have to negotiate the practicalities of puberty and their periods in the company of boys. Given that I'd settle for sexist butterflies and space rockets any day (and I never thought I'd ever say that)

I wouldn’t be giving them ‘evidence’. I’m sure they realise it’s not ideal. It would be pretty insulting to tell the head of a primary school about gender stereotyping.

I’d be concerned about the quality of the job if I were the head. Some people can’t decorate a room for toffee!

Also it will need to be done all in one go at a time when there are no children on site but also at a time when staff are present as there would be all sorts of issues with parents being in there with no staff present. That’s the sort of thing I’d be addressing in the initial email, not telling the head that boys shouldn’t have spacemen on the walls.

Nothing wrong with butterflies or rockets for either sex, as long as they can have both.

I'd go with birds and trees, if you can.

I think your first email/conversation needs to be about whether the school wants parents to fund raise and then volunteer to do the painting.

As pp have said, it will need to be during a holiday period when children aren't at school. Is that practical for parents re: their own childcare? Is there someone eg a caretaker who would be able and willing to be on site? etc

It's a kind thought, but sometimes the practicalities of these things re more hassle than they appear at first sight.

Do they really need redoing or could you just donate some butterfly wall stickers for the boys and some rockets for the girls to even things up a bit?

Gender stereotypes are crap but it’s not as if they are gonna swap them for penis and vulva stickers to indicate who goes where in a primary school (and some kids can’t read ‘girls’ and ‘boys’ signs due to English as a second language, special educational needs or just being too little to read much yet).

Another stress to add to the head’s list.

Snort at the school caring about the standard of painting. The loos were bad so bad that even the crappest paint job would have been an improvement. They looked way better when we finished. Boys was worse but we didn’t do those as we had girls.

I know this is a bit out there but (assuming it’s primary school) maybe it’s good for telling the difference when you walk in? Especially if they’re right next to each other, when you’re little and you need to go it’s like tunnel vision lol. I know when I was in primary I’d stumble into the boys every now and then by accident. (It was all terracotta/white tiles for both). And I would be mortified lol. Does it really matter that much?

Some PTA groups sometimes help out with things like this - I heard of a call to arms for volunteers to spend a weekend painting classrooms from a couple of schools. If you really feel the need to have the decs changed OP perhaps change things that way?

I agree on picking your battles though. You can teach your own DC about this at home. Save your breath for the introduction of gender neutral toilets, for example.

Serious question, exactly why do you want to get it changed? Or do you just want it taken down full stop?

I know it's 2020, but seriously, this is mad.

What great evil do you think they are going to come by with having pink and blue toilets?

Are you for real? I envy your life and school if the toilet decorations are your biggest issue 🙄

Well my DC would have loved that as she struggled going to the toilet for a long time. Having butterflies wound have made her more likely to go in........

Is there an issue with that?....

Does it really matter? If I need a toilet I like it to be clean but have little interest in the decor.

Pink rocket stickers: www.stickerscape.co.uk/product/pink-flying-rocket-wall-sticker/?attribute_pa_size=regular-size&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpLGspqPq5wIVArDtCh0FWAaAEAQYASABEgJo7fD_BwE

Blue butterflies:

www.stickerscape.co.uk/product/classic-butterfly-wall-stickers/?attribute_pa_colour=marina-blue&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1N3btqPq5wIVybTtCh3TdwCBEAQYAiABEgJLX_D_BwE

Job done. HTH.

Just get in touch with the head and say you think the toilets need a refresh and as parents your are willing to raise the funds and do the painting yourselves

Aye, this. I wouldn't lead with a criticism about gendered pictures, I'd suggest the loos need a bit of sprucing up, offer services as a kind gesture, then add plenty of lovely bright pics as required. Easier and more likely to get a result than raising the issue of gender-coding, really.

I'd also suggest using low VOC paints. More expensive, but far better for kids' health.

I wouldn't like it because it'd make me wonder what else was "gendered". I think if that's all there is too it, it's not so bad. I'd probably want to check their policy on it because it could cause problems for my DS.

Both my boys have long hair and love rainbows and pink. They naturally approach and make friends with girls.Youngest is in Nursery, absolutely loves Skye from Paw Patrol atm, and is eating his dinner of a pink plate with her on! - I would hate to think he was encouraged away from what he likes.

Eldest is used to it all now and happily and confidently corrects people. He shouldn't hate to though.