Visitors on post-natal wards - a feminist issue?

[JellySlice]

I have read so many threads posted by mums in post-natal wards where partners are allowed to stay overnight and excessive numbers of poorly-behaved visitors are allowed. The level of noise becomes disruptive, the lack of privacy is distressing and ridiculous demands are made of the midwives and auxiliaries.

Yet nobody is able to say or do anything about it. The midwives seem powerless to impose a standard of behaviour upon the visitors, or to evict those who abuse it. The mothers are reluctant to complain because they are sympathetic to the other women's need for companionship/love/help, but also why should they have to?

The reason I wonder whether this is a feminist issue is that the people suffering in this situation and struggling to take control of this situation are female (predominately female, in the case of the midwives).

Is 'Be Kind' socialisation backfiring on women again?

How can this be changed?

[Goosefoot]

A friend is a midwife, and has some quite upsetting stories about vulnerable women with abusive partners who are "guarded" 24/7 to make sure that they don't get chance to speak out.

But what's the suggestion here? Because some men are abusive, those in good relationships shouldn't be able to stay with their spouse? Would that apply all through medical services? Many people want or even need the help of a partner.

[MarchDaffs]

Well the issue of partners staying doesn't typically arise in other hospital wards does it? I know there are some exceptions to that, palliative care etc, but for the most part it does apply to other comparable services.

[GinUnicorn]

I don’t see why partners couldn’t visit all day but nighttime day 9pm-7am isn’t patient only. Just makes so much more sense to me

[ChipsyChopsy]

A recent episode of Call the Midwife featured the start of men being allowed at the birth of their children. One of the midwives said something along the lines of 'we run the risk of putting men at the centre of childbirth, it's not right'.

[Gronky]

Given that it seems like a partner being present is almost always at the request of the mother could a potential solution which preserves female autonomy in both cases be to split the wards into family and solitary?

After a few ad-hoc requests were denied, I pushed for my workplace to allow for friends (both female and male) of new mothers to leave during working hours with no penalty to visit them on the ward. It was extremely well received by those who wanted it (just less than half) and the primary sentiment is that it helps enormously with the sense of isolation, particularly in families from cultures where the raising of a child is a community endeavour.

[FlightyEmu]

It’s a hospital. People are there because they need medical care. If they don’t, then they can be discharged ( & I’ve known many women discharged straight from labour & delivery). Therefore if they’re on the post-natal ward, there’s a reason for that. Visitors should be restricted, for the well-being of all. So that patients have time to rest, recover, and have any treatment necessary, in a safe and calm environment. If there aren’t the staff available to provide this, then that’s the solution - more staff.

[EuroMillionsWinner]

There's a parallel thread running in Active right now from a new mum who's in a post-natal ward that allows overnight visitors and it makes for very sobering reading.

[AnxietyDream]

People comparing the situation on maternity wards to other adult wards are missing the point that there is a baby there.

In my hospital all children's wards have provision for one parent to stay at all times. (And nobody is insisting that children with a parent available are denied it to be equal with those children whose parents can't stay).

In the five days I was in hospital after giving birth I was too ill to look after my baby, but they did need to be near me for breastfeeding so couldn't be taken home. The proper person to care for that baby in my opinion was the fit and healthy parent. I don't agree that I should have been forced to have my newborn taken care of by a bunch of unknown staff in hospital, against both parents consent, which would have been the result of making my husband leave. (We got a private room thankfully, so I never had to choose between my health, breastfeeding, or having my child be left barely cared for by overworked staff - but no woman should).

Babies need 24 hour care in the first days of life. It's not appropriate to kick out their caregiver for the night, or to expect women who should be recovering to also do care duties.

We should be campaigning for appropriately private spaces for women post birth. I don't know anyone who wants to be breastfeeding and bleeding in a room with a bunch of strangers (male or female)
We should be providing adequate medical staff for women (husband should not be needed for this, as on other adult wards) but babies should be cared for by whoever those with parental responsibility choose.

[MarchDaffs]

People comparing the situation on maternity wards to other adult wards are missing the point that there is a baby there.

No, they've just correctly identified that the presence of babies doesn't mean the adult patients present lose their right to be cared for without having to share sleeping and washing facilities with those of the opposite sex.

We should indeed be campaigning for appropriately private spaces post birth, but meanwhile wards still exist. So even if we begin an immediate move to make all postnatal facilities private rooms, while we complete this process there will still be women on wards.

[Aesopfable]

Do the husbands/partners/random relatives expect to use the patients toilets etc too? Remembering that this is NOT the same as unisex toilets at other times. Women are passing lochia. Sometimes the passage of this, eg. Lots of clots, can indicate serious problems like retain placenta pieces. I remember women not flushing the toilet so the midwife could go and look. That is aside from the issue is just taking care of the large about if blood and discharge, maternity pads etc.

[MarchDaffs]

There are lots of instances where it's happened yes. A number of accounts of it on here. You mention clots: on one of these threads a while ago, there was a woman who had left clots in the loo to go and find a midwife to show who was then spoken to abusively about it by a male who wanted to use it.

They use showers and washing facilities too, which if anything is more inevitable. After all, hospitals all have toilet facilities for those who aren't inpatients, so there is at least the option not to use the patient loos for those visitors who want it. But they don't all have showers for visitors. And if you allow people to stay over, they are going to use the washing facilities, especially if they're there over a number of days.