I don't think staff should feel abused. Ive a lot of sympathy for mods and staff, I'm sure it's a hard job and I think on the whole they do a good job.
I think LangCleg's point wasnt directed at mods personally. And though I agree that I didn't see what was said in private messages, I do find it hard to believe that LangCleg would have been actually abusive to or about mods directly.
I think LangCleg was describing and pointing out - maybe over and over because that kind of message is hard to get heard - that the whole system (not Mumsnet, society/our societal norms today) has got to the point where women's thought and speech is monitored, and constantly curtailed.
It's maybe happened in subtle ways, over a period of time, so that most people aren't aware of how we got here.
But really, we should ask - how did it get to the point where we can't use certain everyday essential words for fear of losing our job, reputation, safety? How did it get to the point that Selina Todd needs security guards in a lecture? Women can't meet without being attacked, threatened, shouted at and pilloried? We can't discuss certain key issues because of our female privilege? Parents can't question what doctors or schools are prescribing/teaching kids, because their thinking might be wrong?
We were - at least I was - at a point where I felt we could finally discuss things that had been so long forbidden - women's bodies, women's lives, all the difficult, messy, painful, derided, dismissed things that we've lived with for so long that we don't even see the backdrop of our lives. And now this. Now 'no pussy hats on the women's march', 'no women only', no breastfeeding, no 'exclusive' lesbians, no safe spaces, no refuges, no toilets, changing rooms, chat groups, meetings, discussions, nothing that can be for women and about women. Nothing. It all has to shift to accommodate others.
I hope I haven't misrepresented the points LangCleg was trying to make. I don't hve her insight, experience or expertise in the subjects. But, of course, she's not here to clarify.
Our loss. Whose gain?