I have a long-term internet friend. We used to interact quite frequently back in the day; I love and respect her a lot. She has a big Facebook following and is very popular because she writes interesting and funny posts, and shares a lot of very personal stuff.
One of her issues is that she was raped as a 10 year old. The rapist was convicted and is still, about 30 years later, sitting out his sentence. Every few years he is eligible for parole (this is in the US) and she rallies all her friends to write the parole board to object to parole being granted. Each time this has happened, she and her friends were able to prevent parole.
This woman has a ten year old daughter and is a 200% trans ally. I mean, just over-the-top pro-trans; and so is her daughter. She thinks transitioning is a very normal thing and they all deserve our 100% support. TWAW, TMAM, etc. She is also extremely protective of her daughter, who is not allowed to go anywhere by herself. The daughter does not know that her mother was raped at her age.
Also, the mother is now divorced and is very open about her desire to remarry, find a suitable guy, and reports often and openly nd humourously on her FB page about some of her attempts at online dating. She is quite particular: no Trump voters, no guy with man-bun for example. She has all the right and reasonable liberal arguments regarding right wing politics, anti-vaxers, climate change, etc and is very articulate.
The questions I would like to ask her are these:
If your rapist decided to transition to female, would you agree that he should be placed in a female prison?
Would you be happy to start using female pronouns about him her, when for instance drumming up support to prevent his her parole?
What about your daughter; you are so protective of her. Would you be happy for her to share a changing room with naked men? A dorm with intact teenage boys?
Most of all, I would like to ask her: why the hell don't you date a transman?
But honestly, I'm too scared to ask . I can just imagine how her hundreds of fans would come storming after me with pitchforks! (they all agree and sympathise with all her posts).
I really, really like this woman. She's a genuinely beautiful, kind person and her daughter is quite special; I've "known" her since she was a little bean in mummy's tummy.
But the cognitive dissonance my friend demonstrates makes my head ache... My fingers often itch to ask but no. I can't. I'm a coward. I keep my big mouth shut. She and her supporters often say, "if you don't support the trans community, TWAW etc please unfriend me right now". I never did. I like too many of them too much.
Yet if I once opened my mouth, they'd drop me like a hot potato. For this one opinion.
I really don't get people like this. So intelligent and reasonable and personable , and yet...
I wonder, if I did ask these questions, what she would answer? What questions would you ask people you know?