Surrogate dies in childbirth, leaves behind two of her own kids

[ConfessionsOfTeenageDramaQueen]

"According to the post, Michelle and Chris decided to help another family who wasn't able to have children after they were done having kids of their own.

Michelle was on her second surrogacy for the same family when she lost her life.

Like any other pregnancy, surrogate pregnancies involve the same medical risks of carrying a child and giving birth."

This makes me really angry. Link below.

www.foxla.com/news/california-mother-of-two-dies-giving-another-family-the-gift-of-life?fbclid=IwAR2RgBrXZnWZa1DES4PQWDYMifkY7YCpLy6WVEOoHj6cD145L9Xof1Iy4mI

Yeah why are you angry? My good friend donated her eggs to help many couple and not get paid for it. It is tragic but she wanted to do it. Maybe it was for money,maybe she was just a good person.

@thecatfromjapan terrific posts. I see the "choice" nonsense wheeled out with regard to prostitution even when the reality of the lives and backgrounds of women in prostitution is well documented and there for all to see. And it's always by educated middle class women (and men, oh they love it) who would never in a million years do it themselves. Choices do not of course exist in a vacuum.

I think this is related to the collapse of communism at the turn of the 90s and the crisis in the Left. Those calling themselves leftists (who should have been analysing and critiquing power structures) started to sound more like classic libertarians, with their obsession with individual choices and identities,and their loss of interest in economic issues. I'm old enough to have witnessed that change, but I see younger people who don't remember the communitarianism of the historic Left, get hoodwinked into believing their consumerist individualistic beliefs are "Left".

Barraker

I am so borrowing 'choicychoice' and 'takeytake'.

Donating eggs is completely different from being a surrogate.

Surely you realise that?!

Pardon me for having an opinion. Do we actually know that she did it for money? Maybe she saw it as a kind thing to do. Maybe she loved being pregnant. Who knows. None of us. I am sympathetic, of course I am, but as far as we know, she wasn't inseminated at knife point!

Cross posts, I was responding to mabutterface

Society eagerly accepts that paying men to end lives and to put their life on the line among flying bullets and exploding bombs, can just be a job (and one which many applaud). “Killed 15 this month? Well done -oh your months payment didn’t go through, can I confirm your bank details?” I’m not sure why we would bulk at the idea that the physical process of bringing a life into the world could not similarly be defined as “a job” for somebody who has only minimal emotional attachment to the process.

"as far as we know, she wasn't inseminated at knife point!"

Ah yes and we all know that if you're not raped at knife point it's not really rape!

And the word (pro) choice is heard enough when we're talking about abortion etc.

Nemo
My point was that there's a mother and child in surrogacy, not just one person taking risks.

Presumably your sister can leave her job or switch jobs though. She's not tied to it for 9 months - or the rest of her life.

But irrespective of that, surrogacy isn't a job. It's not comparable in the slightest.

@IcedPurple

*No I don't think it would make up for the loss of their mother.

HTH*

Not necessarily disagreeing, just playing devils advocate.

But this is a presumably healthy woman. Maternal mortality is very low in developed nations. You could argue another baby of her own isn't worth the risk either, and that she's irresponsible for having another child if her own.

Just seems like a tragic death of a woman who happened to be a surrogate. The surrogacy is not the cause of her death. It's a coincidence.

Oh grow up Emma

Pachyderm I agree with you about the collapse of the Left being such a big part of this.

(And as so many others say, isn't it interesting that it is wheeled out so often to shut specifically feminists up?)

I think surrogacy should be outlawed completely.

"Grow up" - ah, that nuanced, sophisticated argument. Always a pleasure to read it, especially here on the feminism chat boards, we definitely need to make this section more like AIBU

Do we actually know that she did it for money?

The article doesn't say, but given that surrogates in California can 'earn' sums in the upper 5 figures, it's highly likely.

Maybe she loved being pregnant

Who are all these women who 'love' being pregnant for 9 months and going through the physical trauma of childbirth to give birth to a baby they may never even see or hold? You hear about them all the time from defenders of surrogacy, but I've never actually met such a woman.

Maternal mortality is very low in developed nations

The US has pretty high rates of maternal death.

(Should have said 'collapse of communism', Pachyderm, I've misquoted.
But, basically, yes: I'm a fellow thought-traveller with you.)

Bushhbb

"You could argue another baby of her own isn't worth the risk either, and that she's irresponsible for having another child if her own."
Yes, you could argue it. I don't agree but I can see it's a valid point.

"Just seems like a tragic death of a woman who happened to be a surrogate. The surrogacy is not the cause of her death. It's a coincidence."
Completely disagree with this. It's not a coincidence at all. Her death was a direct consequence of her being a surrogate.

So long as rich people can buy whatever the want the left will (bizarrely) support it. 🤷‍♀️

I’d like to think I’d consider adoption or fostering before going the surrogacy route though.

Society eagerly accepts that paying men to end lives and to put their life on the line among flying bullets and exploding bombs, can just be a job (and one which many applaud). “Killed 15 this month? Well done -oh your months payment didn’t go through, can I confirm your bank details?” I’m not sure why we would bulk at the idea that the physical process of bringing a life into the world could not similarly be defined as “a job” for somebody who has only minimal emotional attachment to the process.

Women serve in the army too, but I explained above the difference between serving in the military and surrogacy.

Again, could you list for me the terms and conditions of the 'job' of pregnancy and childbirth? I'm particularly interested in how such contracts can be terminated by the person, sorry, woman performing the 'job'.

Surrogacy should be banned.

@DeeZastris
There is no “Left”. It’s just lazy stereotyping.