Just to make this absolutely clear - this is not a thread about a thread because I know that's against the rules.
However, a thread recently had a lot of deletions when posters were talking about grooming in the context of an adult/child relationship. I suspect that this was because there was misunderstanding of the word grooming and what it means, so I thought it would be helpful to have a thread to discuss what we understand by the word grooming and why it's important.
Let me start by being absolutely clear - grooming when done by an adult to a child isn't always sexual.
In its simplest terms, it's a technique used by people to get other people (typically those who are more vulnerable) to do what the groomer wants. It's how older children/young adults are able to coerce younger children into drug running for them (county lines) and how older girls recruit younger ones into prostitution (as in Rotherham).
Within the family, grooming reasons can be more complex. Adults who are abusing another family member typically groom the rest of the family to accept the abuse (our secret, no one needs to know, mummy doesn't want anyone to know, etc). And grooming isn't just about abuse within the context of a family - it can be grooming children to accept that it's perfect okay that mum is so drunk she can't get off the sofa until lunchtime at the weekend.
It's also the basis of the FOG (fear obligation guilt) that many adults feel when dealing with toxic parents.
At it's essence, it's about manipulation.
Here are some links: www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/grooming/
www.anncrafttrust.org/signs-of-grooming-in-adults-what-to-watch-out-for/
outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/grooming
Why is this a feminist issue? Well, because women and children tend to be grooming victims much more than men do.
I'm sure I've overlooked something!