A Gentleman In The Ladies

[WomanBornNotWorn]

How I carefully discuss just why I do not want mixed sex loos, even if they are intended to make trans people feel comfortable, and why third space is the answer:

Trans women in men's loos can make some men feel uncomfortable.

Some of those men may then react to feeling uncomfortable with agressive behaviour towards trans women.

Trans women can then feel uncomfortable in their own (men's) loos.

To feel comfortable, they might then start using women's loos.

We KNOW if a person is male or female.

We know some members of the male sex are at their most comfortable making women and girls feel uncomfortable.

We do know that some members of the male sex have paraphilias or sexual kinks (far more common in males than females). They may have cophrophilia, urolagia, menophilia or voyeurism plus a neat little camera just waiting to be set up.

And we KNOW most sexual assaults are committed in mixed sex spaces by members of the male sex against members of the female sex.

But trans or not, we DON'T know if a clearly male stranger is a sweet lovely person or a danger, especially if we don't know them.

Which all makes us feel … uncomfortable.

But unlike men, including trans women, women don't have anywhere else we can go.

Some women might just not care, but their confidence isn't shared by all and must not be imposed on us all.

So our options?

We might leave and boycott the space, with health implications like we're seeing in schoolgirls who aren't drinking enough water or going when they need to.

Or we might go ahead and keep heads down, hoping nothing will happen, unable to relax in our own private space when at our most vulnerable.

Or some might even act agressively towards the trans woman.

Fight, flight, freeze, flock, etc in action.

To me, the clear solution is one larger space with disposal bins for women, one smaller space with urinals for men, and a third mixed sex space with both. And ideally a disabled people's cubicle, and changing facilities, in each of the three. I think that's everyone catered for!

Yes, that costs - but how much has been spent converting / installing mixed loos over the last few years? Old Vic, I see you.

(these conversations can go on for a while …)

Yes can you imagine the absolute uproar if this had ever actually happened? In fact Hope in Pink and Fionne Orlander use men's loos with seemingly no issues - perhaps one reason why the TRAs hate them so much.

In fact Hope in Pink and Fionne Orlander use men's loos with seemingly no issues

Likewise Miranda Yardley and Seven Hex.

ClairesKimono, that’s why I don’t think it actually has happened, ever. Because if it had they’d all know about, they’d refer to it, they’d blow it up, no matter how small an incident. Look how they’ve agreed as a group to lie about the role of trans women at US Stonewall and to pretend one of the gay men there was a trans woman, even though he stated on video shortly before his death that he is a man. If these lies can become truth to them, any slight problem any trans woman ever faced in the men’s would have been blown up and shouted about, forever.

But, silence. This makes me think that my instincts are correct, and that men just look away from and ignore trans women in their spaces. That seems likely to be the way they’d act, and from the deafening silence wrt any actual evidence of danger, it has held true.