Has anyone else seen the Jesy Nelson documentary?

[RuffleCrow]

I watched this last night and was in tears at what online trolls have put her through. Sadly, as the documentary showed, it's something that any woman online is at risk from (and some men too)

One of the things that jumped out at me is that the police (i think both in her case and in the case of the 16 year old who took her own life?) said their hands were tied wrt to Facebook and that they didn't even have a number they could call. Is this still true? Has anything changed?

As feminists, is there anything more we can do to fight this disgusting and most modern form of patriarchal oppression and policing of women's bodies and lives?

What i found interesting was that i'd expected her to say she'd also been teased at school etc and that the online trolling was an extension of that - but no. She said she'd never even given her appearance a second thought before the X Factor. So by everyday standards her appearance was - until that point - perceived by those around her as normal (and is normal - beautiful even) but something about the magnifying lense of celebrity and the anonymity of social media created a situation in which her perceived imperfections were decided upon (by men?) and repeated until they were the only thing she could see/hear and she tried to take her own life. We can't live like this. Something has to change. But how?

Thanks for reminder about this doco, will watch over the holidays. I could never understand why she attracted the negative comments when she was on XFactor. To me she was the most charismatic of the group, still is. People get a kick out of tearing someone down, especially if they're doing well. Why her? Who knows, will watch, thanks.

What I find so disturbing is that the poor girl has felt the need, in the face of all the constant criticism and comments about her appearance, to alter herself so drastically with cosmetic procedures.

Yes, at some point she must have decided that shoe-horning herself into other people's narrow minded expectations was the only way to make it stop. As with so many women who've experienced similar and who have the means to afford cosmetic surgery.

My flatmate looks normal. She is 40. Several times in the 7 years since she's been in London she has had people on public transport laughing at her nose. In one case it was a group of young men. Her nose is unexceptional to me though not small. It makes me very sad. How many women are crumbling under this pressure?

I saw this too. It was very sad.

I don’t know if there is a solution anymore. We have gone too far down the road when it comes to SM to reign it back in.

I have two DDs and I am dreading them asking for phones etc.

Also, I find it bonkers that in an age where everything appears to champion body positivity, the trolling gets stronger.

The trolling she experienced was absolutely awful - but in a way, hasn't she let them win by changing her appearance so much? What sort of message does that send to people without the means to pay for cosmetic surgery? However I do admit that I haven't walked in her shoes - perhaps I'd have done the same if it has been me in the limelight having my looks trashed on a daily basis.

The body positivity movement is flawed though, as the aim is still to look good and get compliments on your appearance above all else, albeit with more diversity allowed. It's created a slightly different box of objectification to put women in rather than smashing the stupid patriarchal image obsessed box we had in the first place.

I personally would love to see more body NEUTRALITY and an end to (mostly) women being expected/striving to be beautiful above pretty much all else. Let's focus on what our bodies can actually DO and the dozens of other attributes we can offer rather than how we look.

Genuinely though, all people in the public eye must go through this, no? And the less conventionally good-looking you are the worse, presumably, it is. I can't imagine Ed Sheerhan has a great time of it?

I think there is an onus on the people around the person - particularly when they're young and vulnerable - to put measures in place that mean the person has less access to it but yeah, it's a very difficult issue to tackle, both practically and conceptually (free speech etc).

I personally would love to see more body NEUTRALITY and an end to (mostly) women being expected/striving to be beautiful above pretty much all else. Let's focus on what our bodies can actually DO and the dozens of other attributes we can offer rather than how we look

This, to the power of about a million.

So sad. She was a happy kid who loved herself and went for her dreams.
People are so cruel.