Having a Very Unmerry Christmas? Come Vent Here

[Lucky222]

My customary February birthday depression has started early. Am crying a lot and feeling 0% Christmas cheer.

I will be spending tomorrow with my grandma in her home & bringing a salad instead of sharing 3 course dinner coz of food intolerances. I will be glad to make her happy by my being there but also it's always a sad thing visiting her as her dementia continues to progress.

I hate being in my 30s & still chronically ill, single, childless, unable to work or improve my finances, lonely & isolated, all year-but 'special occasions' bring it to the fore & I struggle with these times.

If you having a sh*t Christmas because you are single, in a bad or abusive relationship, suffering bereavement, have health worries, are suffering financial stress, experiencing family strife or whatever it is, come vent in this thread & let's be miserable together. 😂

My dad died six weeks ago.
My mum got rushed into the hospital he died in yesterday.
Just had a row with DH.
Christmas can fuck off.

Commiserations to all who are having a shit time of it, especially Lucky and Cagney.

I don’t hate it, but every year since I got divorced (14 years ago!) I spend at least part of the time crying. Glad not to have to live with the abusive dickhead anymore, but sad and lonely that I never met a decent fella and that the kids had to have a less lovely Christmas (having to go to their dad’s miserable flat, eat his awful food, and watch films with him that terrified them). Kids are grown-up now but it’s still shit and I’m still really lonely. It’s harder to bear at Christmas.

@WarmthAndDepth I completely get how you feel. I'm also managing my DP's anxiety and although I feel for him and its crap, I also resent the additional strain on trying to keep him on an even keel

Oh, it's bloody horrendous. Early in the year I discovered some huge lies my husband had made to me regarding money. We probably should have separated then but so many people defended him that I didnt. Fast forward a shitty year and he's lost his job in November. He's basically sat about in a depression that he does nothing about. I am responsible for every thing we do. I finished work at 12, changed all the beds and did a cursory clean then went to bed, only to be wide awake at 2pm worrying about everything I still have to do. I'm the end I just got up and started doing the ironing. Just having a quick cup of tea before I go back to it! Kids will be up soon and I don't have any goodwill left.

I'm sorry for everyone else having a shit time. It'll all be over soon and we can get back to normality.

I'm so sorry for you all. Problems don't just disappear at this "most wonderful time of the year" do they? It's the reason why I hate the mad, overblown, consumer-driven run up to Christmas and the peddling of the myth that everybody loves it. My family is completely fractured this year down to one sibling going no contact with his parent. Everyone is affected and it is extremely sad.

I'm having a shit time. DH and I are fighting / miserable with each other over our continued inability to conceive. I'm 41 so it's last chance saloon here. Ivf doctor was honest about my chances either naturally or with IVF -7-10% for a live birth. Dh being an arse about it all as he has massive anxiety about being a parent anyway. He is being gloomy as fuck and my normally sunny nature is just crushed by all this. Plus I have chronic pain from endometriosis (just diagnosed) which has been getting steadily worse. Wondering whether I should leave him but then zero chance of having a baby...been awake for the last 2 hours in pain and really can't be arsed with christmas at this point.

Xmas isn't happening here. (Long situation involving the police going on, police taken everything the wrong way and now dp isn't here for Xmas and we have young children together) from lunchtime he'll be having the kids which I'm gutted about but at least they will have opened their presents and I get to see that. And that they are too young to understand Santa etc. Life is shit atm and I need to get some help with my mental health.

Sorry for that rant.

So sorry to hear everyone's difficulties, feel for you all.
Another one with male family members anxiety/depression problems.... Love them, but it's like waiting for a pressure cooker to go off at Christmas and constantly on edge that they will make an attempt. Spend the entire time making sure family children enjoy and don't get affected. Exhausting and a drain.
Hope you all manged to get through it and that the New Year is kinder to you all.

There is so much pressure for Christmas to be perfect and special. I'm so sorry for those experiencing family issues and stresses and arguments. It can't be easy but you are doing your best to cope. Personal problems don't disappear at Christmas, and are more likely to exacerbate due to family visits, financial woes, mental health issues etc. I wish you all well and hope you find some peace and calm among all the disruption and maybe a solution to some of the problems.

I'll never fathom people who torture or poison animals. I'd be beside myself with grief and rage if it happened to one of my cats.

DD's first Christmas at her Dad's since we split up and I miss her terribly. I also miss my Dad who died 3 years ago. Putting a brave face on is so difficult sometimes.

So sorry for people having a miserable time.

Please put my name down for any vigilant action to avenge the poor little cat.

With an e on the end, obviously

I've never been a massive Christmas fan. For me it's all about family. And having been a single Mum since my DC were small my Mum has always invited me there for Christmas.

Then 2.5 years ago I met the most amazing man
Fell head over heels in love. So my Mum and step dad decided they would go abroad for Christmas like they always want to. And that day Mr Wonderful broke up with me. Said he 'can't stand' my dc.
So I'm not with him. Or my mum. My dad said they weren't having 'everyone' round. So I'm at home. With my amazing DC who I love so much.
But I'm sad and lonely and hurting. And wondering why he doesn't love me enough. Or maybe there is something 'wrong' with my DC. I'm biased so don't think so.

And yes I know I can do better. And if he doesn't like my DC then that's it. But its fucking Christmas. And I love him. And I don't want to be on my own.

On the plus side my dinner smells amazing
Pity party for one over.

Hugs to you all.

Sounds awful @ImNotWhoYouThinkIam. I'm fact everyone's day sounds horrid. Enjoy dinner.

to all having a shit day.

Don’t do xmas at all (we’re Pagans) so it’s all a lot more low key here. Went out to eat. DH now dozing on the sofa. Feeling a bit meh but seeing it as a time to catch up with reading and jobs.

And may Bast, Sekhmet, Freya and any other badass cat-loving goddesses out there dispense the proper justice to whoever poisoned your girl, Cagney

@weekfour we are actually having a nice chilled day. DC aren't arguing for a change but playing board games. Not even the new ones but ones from the cupboard.

I just feel so so sad inside. Like I want to cry and not stop. I need someone to put my cold toes on! I'd open the wine but I know it wont actually help.

I also have depression and anxiety which isnt improving (can't imagine why) and suspected bronchitis. God (if you believe in him) either hates me or has a lot of faith in me

My heart goes out to anyone struggling today-it’s certainly not perfect once yr an adult-all the magic is really for children. Maybe an early night & long walk tomorrow will help lift the mood. Sending hugs to all.

Thank you for commiserations everyone and sending mine to everyone else struggling. (I hope sharing made you feel a tiny teeny bit better.)

To the posters talking about having to keep everything afloat & manage partner's anxiety/depression, I send my sympathies! Do women get to just check out of all our responsibilities & have male partners take on a double load when we have mental health struggles? Seems like this might be a male luxury, E. G mother:s coping post partum depression whilst keeping tiny helpless constantly needing thing alive.

Day went pretty well after getting there late (inevitably couldn't get up for alarm.) Had a few good hrs with my grandma (she danced the whole of New York, New York with me!) before her usual late afternoon wobbly. She got very cross about things not being organised enough, lack of staff etc and was complaining heartily to various staff members about the shambles of it, oblivious to fact they were spending their Christmas day caring for her & rest of residents aaargh lol. I couldn't stop laughing when I told my mum about her apologising to the singer/entertainer that performed about the state of the audience. Think he probably knew what he was getting himself in for when he accepted the booking for an old people's home :D

Had lovely Xmas Eve with sibling and nieces. Had good morning with dd and girlfried. Had tolerable lunch with narc parent. Had crappy evening with kids' dad who decided, after detoxing in the ICU a year ago, Christmas was a great time to take up drinking again. Sometimes it's not such a puzzle that ds want to disown maleness.

Well Harry Potter headbandz certainly lifted the mood. I actually thought I'd wet myself we were laughing so much. Now we are snuggled up under a duvet watching the new Mary Poppins while I crochet yet another hat, scarf and mitten set for my nieces. If I make them for one they all have to have the same
And the benefit of being Auntie not Mummy is that I don't have to say no

Meh. 2 of my 4 children managed not to be narcissistic arses. Onwards and upwards.

My wish for you, today and every day:
May the light always find you on a dreary day
When you need to be home may you find your way
May you always have courage to take a chance
and never find frogs in your underpants.

This is very true Creepster, I may have had a very difficult day, but at least there were no frogs in my underpants.