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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Hairy legs

116 replies

TiggersLikeToBounce · 14/12/2019 00:39

This is me. I hate shaving, waxing etc. It irritates my skin. I hate the way Gillette 100 plus years ago advertised us to shave. He made millions...
But! I am still embarrassed to show my hair in public...why?

Hairy legs
OP posts:
YouRemindMeOfTheBabelfish · 14/12/2019 11:06

I've had men tell me that women's pubic hair is unhygienic and should be removed.

Guy had a beard, long hair, and body hair and pubes.

And somehow I was the unhygienic one?

I actually have issues with hygiene when I shave my armpits, I seem to swear more because of the contact of skin on skin, my hairy pits stop that from happening so much. Ditto down below.

I shave my legs because I'm hypersensitive to the feeling of friction from clothes, boots, anything, on my head and bodyhair. It's actually only recently that my head hair has become an issue, but it's my shaved sections which cause the nasty feeling. It's also becoming a problem with my armpits and I'm having to try and trim it with scissors so the hairs don't feel pulled. It's really frustrating

McDonaldsIsBad · 14/12/2019 11:11

This reply has been deleted

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JellySlice · 14/12/2019 11:26

I quite like a hairy woman sometimes There's something earthy and primal and sexy about it

Interestingly, I feel the same sometimes, and I'm a het woman (AFAIK!).

This discussion reminds me of my 1970s youth, when female nudity in films always involved a glimpse of pubic bushiness. Perhaps that informed my view of what is sexy in a woman, just as porn is influencing a younger generation.

Shesalittlemadam · 14/12/2019 11:41

I'm sorry but to me it looks manly. If I saw a woman with legs that hairy I would presume they were transgender - which I have zero judgement of of course, I'm just saying that's what I would presume.

Shesalittlemadam · 14/12/2019 11:45

Those saying they sweat less with hairy armpits, I find that hard to believe. With hairy armpits the sweat sticks to the hair and stinks within a few hours. I once didn't shave for a few weeks and I had to wash under my arms 3 times a day to avoid the odour. Deodorant (even mens) Just wasn't doing it

JellySlice · 14/12/2019 11:50

You sweat the same amount, but you don't feel it slithering on the skin of your armpit, so you're less disturbed by it.

TinselAngel · 14/12/2019 12:28

If I saw a woman with legs that hairy I would presume they were transgender

Well that would make no sense because trans women are the biggest leg shavers of all!

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 14/12/2019 12:33

I don't care if I look manly, or like a transwoman (really?), or unkempt. It simply doesn't matter to me, although I admit to some privilege because I an self-employed and no part of my income depends on someone else's perception of my appearance.

I have shaved in the past, mostly because I like the little rolls of leg hair that form when I use an electric shaver. I haven't shaved on a number of years now, because I don't want to. I swim, I go out and about and no horses have bolted, or delicate ladies fainted. I think that people in general need to get over the idea that it is important for women to be attractive to them, regardless of the situation. Nobody is obliged to alter themselves to make me appreciate their appearance. After all, why should they? All I do is expect the same courtesy.

There is a certain arrogance in declaring "I'm sorry but I find it/you disgusting" as if that should matter. Your thoughts live in your own head, and thoughts about other people's appearance really ought to stay there.

As for the hairy legs in public thing, I only wear maxi skirts anyway, so it isn't a problem for me. Not because of my unshaven legs, just because I lack grace and fear flashing my knickers!

Arthritica · 14/12/2019 12:43

I shave a few times a year, usually for societal pressure, but the older I get the less I can be arsed with it.

We're mammals, we have hair. Spending time and money changing that seems kind of pointless. Using the blunt instrument of the Caitlin Moran Sexism Test, ask "do the men have to do this?" If the answer is no, it's sexist bollocks and we don't need to bother with it.

Goosefoot · 14/12/2019 13:14

I think it is one of those beauty things that "works" psychologically because it's something that is emphasising a difference between male and female bodies.

I don't think it's really the case that the preference for these things is set in childhood or youth. In my experience if there is a widespread change, people get used to it very quickly. But it's not that common that there is a wholesale change, and just a few people doing it doesn't make much difference, it doesn't work to "reset" our sense of what looks right. And most people won't put themselves out there and change on their own so it becomes a collective action problem.

I have wondered why body hair is an area people have such a gut reaction to, because it's not the case with most other fashion and body modifications. People might think someone who doesn't do the other things isn't interested in looking good, or is a bit lazy, or whatever, but that's about it, they don't think it's gross. It seems like it elicits particularly strong feelings.

I've had similar feelings too and I can't think of anything else that compares, for me what bothers me is hairy legs with pantyhose. It's completely irrational, well beyond just thinking it looks bad, and I have really no explanation. I also had an experience once where the person I was dating did some fairly extensive manscaping, and was quite pleased thinking I'd like it, and I found it completely a turn off, actually disgusting. I had a really hard time not showing my emotion and I had to really walk delicately to try not to make him feel embarrassed/awful while not encouraging a continuation. In the end I told him the stubble iritated my skin.

I'd be very interested in any theory of why people feel so strongly about this in particular.

ACatWhoBinds · 14/12/2019 13:45

@LastMichaelmas I love the idea of a furry rodent! That’s given me a great mental image Grin I love animals haha
@fairydustandpixies I think age has to do with it, maybe because you don’t feel like you have to impress people. Though I say that being 20! For me being with someone who loves me no matter how much hair I have has helped though. I don’t need to impress people now. It’s definitely also come with confidence and trying to be my authentic self too though

Original poster
TiggersLikeToBounce · 14/12/2019 13:48

Some very interesting views.
I am in my 40s and single. Interestingly I have realised I only shave for other people, whether that be for the men I have dated or for all the people who might judge me in the pool.
I have also realised that those people probably don't give a hoot and it's my own opinions of it that make me do it.
For now I will try to embrace my hair and not give a hoot myself.

OP posts:
GaraMedouar · 14/12/2019 13:55

OP - I look the same - I don’t bother shaving my legs over winter. Next spring I will. But only to the knees. I am a gorilla below the knees but don’t have any noticeable hair above the knee strangely.
I do keep my armpits shaved though (not as regularly during winter mind) as I seem to be less sweaty if I shave. I’m 50 and single so doing it for me.

Beamur · 14/12/2019 14:00

I'm much more relaxed about body hair now than in my 20's. I rarely shave my legs. Never done more on the lady garden than a bikini line wax so I don't scare the horses.
Thinking about it though, it is for other people, not myself that I do it. I shave my legs (and hobbity toes) when I have a pedicure. The pedi is for me as I like the way it looks but I shave my legs to fit in with the beauty salon vibe. Although the girls in them are totally used to seeing hairy women - much of their business is in removing it!
Mainstream hairies - Madonna and her unashamedly unshaved armpits.

MerryDeath · 14/12/2019 14:12

i totally agree. i often think about women's taxes. how all the time i spend faffing about with every aspect of my appearance my DH is working, relaxing. it's bollocks. we should start a movement and normalise what is normal.

LastMichaelmas · 14/12/2019 14:36

Hairy legs with tights is bad IMO and that's nothing to do with anything else on the thread. Aesthetically it's not nice to have what looks like hairy clothing, and also if you wear tights with hairy legs you can feel the hairs doinging through one by one all day.

Ibloodylovewomen · 14/12/2019 14:56

I don't shave.

I realised a couple of years ago that I don't want to spend the time removing body hair. I don't want my children thinking that women should have to remove it, and environmentally the less 'beauty practices' we all partake in the better. I have made a decision for good reasons and yet am still conflicted! I find the look of my own healthy body repulsive sometimes Sad and have, over time, come to the realisation that this is my own internalised misogyny.

The fact that I can look at my own legs and feel repulsed, is not only sad, but it is an indictment of how women's bodies are viewed on society and how we absorb those values from an early age. To look acceptable, means to look smooth and firm. And to not do this is some how morally wrong - dirty, unkempt, not 'taking care of ourselves', and even disrespectful (if we're not 'making an effort' for those around us).

There is an excellent books called, 'Perfect Me: Beauty as an ethical ideal' which you might find an interesting read OP.
httpss://www.amazon.co.uk/Perfect-Me-Beauty-Ethical-Ideal/dp/0691160074

agentnully · 14/12/2019 14:57

I have a tiny, almost matchbox-sized Ladies' razor after my mum. One of the rare things I have of hers. I've never used it. though.

I shaved when younger to fit in but don't any more. Nor do I wear skirts or dresses. I need pockets and trousers to hide and carry my medical equipment.

Practical trumps pretty for me every time, though I must admit it takes me longer to dry hairy legs so I miss that a bit.

My armpits get done if I feel a bit sweaty and pubes when I can't get past the jungle to use tampons.

OH doesn't care (unless I use his razor!) but it's been a long, hard road as he was brought up with the porn of the time favouring a "landing strip" and that being the only hair on a woman's body.

I think we've both reached the age where we no longer really care.

I brought my daughter up to do it if she wanted to and not because she felt she should or was pressured into it. I bought her first razor with the promise she'd do that and not bend to pressure. She shaves but like me, not regularly. I suppose she's lucky that she now has a chilled partner who doesn't sweat the small stuff.

skybluee · 14/12/2019 15:06

It's marketing and it's shit.

And why is it hard to believe that for some people shaving makes them sweat more? Just because for you shaving makes you sweat less, doesn't mean everyone is you - you're not the gold standard! Everyone is different.

I personally shave, although reading this thread has made me reconsider.

I think a big part of the reason I shave is when I got unwell, I stopped shaving - and also stopped looking after myself - so I actually associate it with that. When I'm well, and I start 'doing things' I start grooming myself more. So I think it comes from that association, it's something I do when I start feeling better. So now it starts to make me feel a bit more together. A bit like putting make-up on maybe, I don't know.

Anyway, to me, it's a personal decision. Everyone should be TRULY free to do what they want. If someone wants to shave, fine. If someone doesn't, fine. And these arguments that it's unkempt or unhygienic or messy on women, but not on men, are absolute bullshit. I wonder if men rocking up at the office with leg hair are accused of looking like they came from Castaway?

LissJas · 14/12/2019 15:21

Honestly? That looks disgusting to me. Each to their own but I would never allow my legs to look like that. I shave all over in the shower every couple of days.

WatchingTheMoon · 14/12/2019 15:23

"Honestly? That looks disgusting to me."

Do men's hairy legs also look disgusting to you?

Bendybop · 14/12/2019 15:33

No but i think hairyness is manly, i would be turned off if they groomed themselves and shaved their legs or armpits. I am more attracted to men with body hair.. when a man is naturally not hairy i find that a turn off.. i imagine for some men seeing a hairy woman is not a turn on.. i think its a hormones indicator of health and fertility.

WatchingTheMoon · 14/12/2019 15:39

Well that's terribly convenient for men, isn't it?

smemorata · 14/12/2019 15:45

Interesting thread! I stopped shaving my legs about 2 months ago. It started because I had an operation and couldn't shower for a week and then just decided that I couldn't be bothered to shave anymore. I would love to say I like my hairy legs but I still think they look better hair free so I am a bit conflicted! I am really hairy though - if I shave my legs they are stubbly by the following day and that feels even worse than having hairy legs. It is nice getting that time back.

Bendybop · 14/12/2019 15:52

Men i know trim their noses ears and wirey eyebrows though. Some even have their eyebrows threaded.