Sometimes I hate being at university

[LastMichaelmas]

And really hate the fact I don't have a Sharpie, or the bravery to scribble out a W and an O.

But then, that would be hate speech 🙄

It's just everywhere, constantly, reminding me of my isolation, because none of the gay spaces I'd been hoping I could make use of before I came here would welcome a bigot like me who thinks transwomen are transwomen, different from women, but no less valuable as human beings, and that insisting transwomen are women implies there's something wrong with being a transwoman.

Yikes. Do you all have to parade and wave flags and shout slogans?

It wouldn't surprise me 😒 It's just drip drip drip.

I don't resent support and help for trans people at all. Trans people, quite obviously, as I think we'd all agree, deserve no less respect or understanding or support than anyone else. It's this kind of thing (TWAW as though to say otherwise is beyond the pale), though, and the prominence of trans issues to the exclusion of all else, that bothers me. The latter is exemplified by the student waiting room at the counselling centre. There's a rack of leaflets about specific stressors and problems that could apply to anyone, like exam stress, social stuff, perfectionism, alcohol etc. But the only specific demographic for whom there are posters on the wall signposting them to support is trans people. Nothing for homosexual and bisexual people, BAME people, care-leavers, autistic people, women, people with sensory or physical impairments, people with serious mental illness… just trans people. It's not trans people's fault that this is the case — the counselling service should have made sure, when they put the posters up promoting sources of support for trans people, that they did the same for other groups who may have specific needs. People are going to get a shock when they're no longer flavour of the month, and some other group is the focus of attention and support to the exclusion of everyone else.

the only specific demographic for whom there are posters on the wall signposting them to support is trans people. Nothing for homosexual and bisexual people, BAME people, care-leavers, autistic people, women, people with sensory or physical impairments, people with serious mental illness… just trans people.

I was saying this exactly to DH last week about the campus I work on. And in terms of staff training, the only sort of diversity training offered is the trans awareness training course which seems to run on an almost weekly basis. This is at a university with documented problems of misogyny and racism, but absolutely nothing is done about those things.

It's really not just trans stuff though. It's this whole edifice that they are building around oppression.

My university has for the last number of years (about 4 I think) offered a sort of summer program for high school students. Every year, it has focused on a marginalised group as the theme, in particular a discussion of what needs to be done to empower and support them, along the lines of things like scholarships, bringing in lecturers that come from the same group, etc.
This doesn't particularly reflect the nature of the studies that are done here though, which are focused on the history of western thought. In the past the goal was to help students get a basic understanding of how it is that our current thinking has been developed over the centuries. This is not really an effort to introduce these kids to what we do, it's an effort to deflect criticism that it's colonialist.

Similarly, a plan to create a display celebrating the women who have been important in the university over its history was scrapped when someone pointed out that none of them would be black or indigenous women. The reasons for that are pretty flipping historically obvious I'd say, but - what are they trying to accomplish with this sort of stunt?

Similarly every document put out by the administration or student union - even student marks - now begins with a declaration that we recognise we are unceded indigenous territory. What we are expected to do about this I have never figured out, I always feel that perhaps I ought to get up and leave, though I am not sure where I would go as the lands of my ancestors surely do not want me.

Anyway, this is beginning to sound like a rant, but the thing is it never lets up. Every morning on the radio when I wake up it is the same kinds of stories, the posters on the wall when I go to work. It's become so that even issues where I think there is a real problem to be resolved or discussed, I am not up for thinking about it and just want to tune it out.

the only specific demographic for whom there are posters on the wall signposting them to support is trans people. Nothing for homosexual and bisexual people, BAME people, care-leavers, autistic people, women, people with sensory or physical impairments, people with serious mental illness… just trans people.

I was saying this exactly to DH last week about the campus I work on. And in terms of staff training, the only sort of diversity training offered is the trans awareness training course which seems to run on an almost weekly basis. This is at a university with documented problems of misogyny and racism, but absolutely nothing is done about those things.

Sorry, not sure how I managed to post that twice . . .

OP I feel for you-but honestly out in the real world people can see the danger in trans ideology-there's nothing positive about it & it has nothing to do with LGB issues. I honestly think Stonewall & Mermaids will not be receiving gov't funding for much longer.

That is the real world, the one that gay people at university have to live in.

Elsewhere, people can see the danger in trans ideology but are usually too scared of being attacked or shamed to speak out.

"And really hate the fact I don't have a Sharpie, or the bravery to scribble out a W and an O.

But then, that would be hate speech"

Might I suggest stickers on the back of loo doors? The ones with the definition of lesbian on them would be good -- and you can stick them on discretely without anyone seeing. And then probably wait for the PANIC about the terrible, terrible transphobic stickers on campus..............

But, let us not forget, the even more important point being that other lesbians on campus could see that it isn't just them, others out there think the same. Even if it is sadly back to the old days, when not everyone could be out and openly a female attracted ONLY to other females.

In my day, I used to graffiti rather than sticker, but loos still a good place for that. And frankly, I might have to take it up again! You are not alone.

Universities are just awful places.

Like that idea, SomeDyke.

Go on OP. Unleash your inner Stickerwoman!

DD plays sport, and she has been surprised how often girls, mainly girls from affluent SE England, have assumed that this means she must be lesbian. Cool girls party hard. Anyone who does not fit their norm, has to be gay. Having said that the boys sports can be even more misogynistic, and vocally lesbo-phobic

Coming from a background where some people are lesbian, get over it, she finds it all very odd. Especially as the main culprits are white middle class.

There is no evidence that the SU cares at all, or feels any need to take a stand. Trans though and they are woker than woke.

I think it's noteworthy that nobody peddles the other side of the coin; I don't think I've ever heard of or seen "trans men are men" bullshit stickers. These people aren't supporting anything, they are obviously just anti-woman fuckwits.

This is at a university with documented problems of misogyny and racism, but absolutely nothing is done about those things

Do you work at my place?

But then actually, most universities have "documented problems with misogyny and racism" because - well, because the UK has those problems.

I think there is more to it than that. What DD describes appears worse than in my day. Open misogyny from boys who grew up with easy access to porn. No one speaking up for gay rights. Huge pressure on girls to fit with gender norms, norms influenced by glossy influencers. And drugs. We never worried about spiked drinks...today’s generation absolutely do. And an epidemic of anxiety.

Perhaps it easier for Universities and SUs to focus on “trans”

I see a fondness for stickers here!

It's annoying. I'm going through some difficult shit around things where my sexuality is highly relevant at the moment, and thought when I started at university it would be nice to be able to join a ready-made gay community, but the organisations centre trans and non-binary issues to the extent that these groups don't seem relevant to me.

Meanwhile on the 'who did you vote for?' thread....well i won't depress you with the conversations i've been having OP. Lots of people gleefully sacrificing women's rights on a pipe dream of socialism.

Yep I've resorted to the rad-fems though my schedule has meant I haven't been able to go to the regular meetings. It's not really the same though?

I feel for you OP and wonder if you are at my 'elite' university where I have flagged up our Counselling Service's waiting room festooned with rainbows and bugger all for other protected groups. I guess just hold in mind that there are plenty of staff aware of this and unable to speak out. If that helps at all. I have teenagers and it's so much harder for them. I'm surrounded by middle aged men and women, family, friends and colleagues who think it's BS. You have it much harder. But we're all our there around you often teaching you or working in those support services and we know and get it. I hold out hope it will pass

My name's a bit of a clue TBH Cold 😂

It is really hard for the younger generation, I think; I'm much older, but as an undergrad I'm immersed in this world — in it but not of it.

It's nice to know you're all around us, invisible presences of moral terfitude

(It's a reference to the fact it's my last year here 😭 I do love being a student, even with all the nutty student politics)

But we're all our there around you often teaching you or working in those support services and we know and get it

OP maybe you could seek out courses/modules that are taught by women academics which have an explicitly feminist approach? You might find like minded students there and sympathetic staff.

But if you were feeling brave, you could also feedback to the student counselling service, via your counsellor maybe? That the focus on trans to the exclusion of other groups is just that - excluding.

Dolorabelle, that's a good idea, though in my circumstances it's not really relevant — I've already chosen my optional papers, and the things that interest me don't necessarily align with any particular ideological views. And I've always tended to get taught by whichever person has been picked for me, which I don't know in advance… course convenors and lecturers are a bit peripheral to it all. (Sorry, lecturers… I love you really.)

But feeding back to the counselling service, yes, I'll definitely do that. Can't believe I didn't think of it.