Please help me with links for local FB knobhead

[MagnificentTrousers]

I've NC for this as anyone who knows me will have seen my interactions on a local FB page following Jo Swinson's recent interviews on WH and Radio 5, and a general discussion around the supposed ousting of the local Tory by tactically voting LD.

I've tried playing nice, but have been accused of transphobia more than once, and although for the most part I have been backed up gently by other women, I have just been informed by a man that he "personally finds the toilets case irrelevant because (to paraphrase), the amount of times a predatory man is going to get caught in the women's loos and claim as an excuse that he was feeling particularly feminine that day has only probably happened maybe 10 times in the history of the planet."

What I want to reply is "Well of course YOU find it irrelevant, you're a MAN and this hasn't ever, and won't ever happen to YOU", but I need a link/s to show him that his 10 cases in the whole of history is bullshit.

Or shall I just say what I wanted to in the first place?

I'm conscious that people who will see it actually know me in real life, but he's really pissed me off, along with another man who's asking "What's the problem with self-id? It's no different really to what we have now - how does this impact women? It's not like the trans community are all perverts, you transphobic bitch, this is what TW have to put up with day in, day out" etc.

I'm very cross - please help me reply intelligently and in a reasoned manner.

Bloody brilliant point, User. That's it at its most fundamental: social conventions.

I am so fed up with men assuming women only have reason to fear assault and rape, and anything short of that is fine.

Men are capable of pretending ignorance of ‘the male gaze’, while simultaneously ogling women’s bodies.

I do not want any male looking me over in any changing room, or even women’s toilet, even if they never touch me. We still have a human right to privacy and dignity, even as most men feign ignorance of these concepts.

Boundaries aren’t bigotry.

Thanks all - whilst I was thinking of a response, some other bloke has posted the very reasoned comment "Agreed, ridiculous distraction. If you're that worried, just pee faster."
I haven't replied: With all due respect M and N, you are MEN, so this isn't something you need to worry about is it? And there have been many more than 10 cases in the whole of history - a fairly quick google would reveal that. Here's just one report: www.independent.co.uk/.../sexual-assault-unisex...
What number of women/girls is it OK with you to be assaulted before you think there's a problem that needs to be addressed?

I have replied, obviously. I'm very cross now and so I'm off to the gym to lift something heavy. I can't wait to see what happens next. I'll probably be ignored, or called transphobic again.

Perfect response!

Pee faster?
Well there we have it. What a load of scrotes.

You're trying to convince them of facts. And they probably don't not believe them, it's just, ultimately, they do not care.

Turn it round.

Suggest that if they as men stood up and defended transwomen then the TW wouldn't be terrified of using a gender neutral gents. What are they doing to make the men's gender safe?

Not a ridiculous distraction. Blokes showing their complete ignorance of women's lives.

It's a basic biological function and because of our biology women are more vulnerable than men as we have to undress to pee, unlike them. We take about three to four times longer than them just to pee and cannot easily defend ourselves when attacked due to having to partially undress.

But that is not all we do - one in four of us are menstruating at any one time, dealing with that takes even longer.

250,000 women in the UK miscarry every year, the vast majority of miscarriages involve a toilet at some point, more often than not these are public toilets. This is distressing enough without having to be expected to deal with the loss of our privacy in front of the opposite sex at such a time.

We also have caring responsibilities which means we spend even longer in the toilets than men because we have to help those we care for in managing to go to the toilet or having to actually take them, undress them, clean them up and dress them again. If nappies or adult diapers are involved it takes us longer still.

Should these particularly vulnerable people, that is small children, the disabled and the elderly also "just pee faster" for the comfort of men?

And why are women expected to accept to at best feel uncomfortable and at worst be put at risk for something that isn't our problem? The much fairer solution would be for men to stop making men who do not fit in the manbox feel uncomfortable in men's toilets.

I would also add that in every country in the world that doesn't yet have separate toilet provision for female people, they are raped and murdered when they do go to pee precisely because men the world over know w are uniquely vulnerable at this moment.

That is why separate toilets for men and women are recognised as one of the most important measures to keep women safe and to enable them to fully participate in society by international human rights organisations. In other words, you either believe that women are fully realised human beings with the right to equal participation in public life or you do not. If you do, you accept that they have different needs from men which must be accommodated. I mean how small-minded of these Facebook dudes to deny women such an important means of social inclusion when it hasn't cost them anything at all until now anyway to stay out of our toilets.

Well the local FB admin has turned off commenting on all political posts now, so I won't have to inconvenience anyone with any more facts on the subject.
I wonder what these men have ever thought about why we have sex-segregated spaces in the first place? I suspect they don't think about it at all sadly. Bloody feminists - always nagging on about something eh lads?

"Pee faster"??
And yet these same people have endless sympathy for a group that includes men who dress up as women because it gives them a stiffy.
It's a strange hierarchy of sympathy.

That will be his mother, his sisters, his wife, his daughters and his aunts then won’t it?

There’s was a list going round on twitter five yrs ago or so, probably still is or is easy to find through fair play for women or similar, that states the number of attacks on women and girls from (just) transwomen and I’m sure those from all men also, from after the changes to laws in the US.

Toilets are not just about attacks though. It’s Muslim women who can no longer go out because they need private spaces to change, it’s older women’s dignity who feel uncomfortable with men in their space, it’s young girls starting their periods made to feel uncomfortable with having a teenage boy in the next cubicle listen to her change a pad, or having to wash blood off her hands in front of boys. (Of course these things effect all women but these points tend to hit home more than us ‘normal’ women feeling uncomfortable about this).