Inebri I agree. But it’s not just how sex role stereotypes are socialised in a wider scale like this, it’s also how parents convey these messages. While I don’t think messages at home somehow override the bs out there easily I think it plays a role. While I might be biased as a mother of girls, I generally find other mothers horrified at the suggestion (in general terms, not specific) that they should be teaching boys not to rape as some outrageous insult to their (poor poor) boys. I’m good at wording this gently in real life I promise, and I’m in no way letting men off the hook for their role in raising boys to be good men, but I spend most my time talking to mothers not fathers and the outrage at the idea that both parents should be teaching boys not to grow up to be rapists is extreme. Generally it’s in the context of other mothers saying that at least they don’t have to worry about girls getting all ‘silly’ once they are teens and want boyfriends, or it’s the I’d be so scared for her when she’s older going out to bars etc (often with the likes we did at that age/what we got up to at that age) and you must worry about how to keep them safe type convo. I tend to explain the usual yes I’ll talk to them about staying with friends/not accepting drinks/leaving drinks unattended and so on briefly but try to steer it to the reality that we shouldn’t be focusing on training girls not to be victims and that can be a form of victim blaming- which most seem to get I think - but add to it we really need to be raising boys to not be rapists and it’s like horror. It’s why would I need to teach them that and so on, and no amount of pointing out that you teach them not to hit, not to threaten to kill, not to steal etc seems to make it click. Explaining that boys need to be raised to understand they don’t have a right to sex often seems to set off mothers on how their sweet innocent boys of course have a right to be loved and how they can’t bring them up to think being lonely is ok and veres into male suicide rates and how there’s no help for men (of course countering this with facts doesn’t help). So there’s this part too imho. Even some of the most pro women’s lib mothers I know still seem to baby their sons and not grasp this point. (Although I’d never say that to them).
I know a whole range of different types of mums, not just a closer circle of likeminded mums, and I’ve found almost everyone who I’ve discussed twaw bs have grasped it, no matter how differently our views/lives may differ, but few mothers seem to grasp the need to activity teach their boys not to rape. I think this is just part of much wider problems, and that the fathers role or lack of and how other men socialise men deserves more blame, but I think women can continue sex role stereotypes socialisation that contributes to boys growing into men who feel they have a right to women’s bodies, even though they might be convinced they are men who support women’s lib in other ways.