Dc secondary and a Stonewall invested school

[Silencedwitness]

I’ve only in the last year or so joined the feminism board here but have really had my eyes opened by a number of sources about the war on women.

My dd is due to start secondary next year and I’ve just found out her secondary are a bronze award holder from stonewall. They also have some gender neutral loos but also single sex. They also had a stonewall inspired champion in to speak at their pride this year. I’ve spoken quite a lot to my dds (one is autistic and is due to go there in 2021 - she wears boys clothes and I’m worried about stonewall crap getting their claws into her) about how you cannot change sex.

Have anyone had a child attend quite an invested in stonewall school? And how have you navigated it? Or any tips to navigate all the crap?

My son's school is a Stonewall Champion School

I raised my concerns with the HT via letter. He now thinks I'm a homophobic bigot because Stonewall is a 'credible' organisation.

You couldn't make it up.

It's vaguely horrific we have to worry about this now. But you are not alone with this as a concern. I was talking to a freelancer at my work, a year ago. Basically she was terrified her gender non conforming autistic daughter, was in danger from the " born in the wrong body" ideology. She limited her social media / internet content, and kept a close eye on interactions. She spent a lot of time with her daughter and encouraged her to do activities where she could see other girls doing the same stuff as boys (scouts for example).

As for school. I would maybe think about going in to discuss the matter, I think you have every right to be concerned. And isn't that sad? What a state we are in with this, a situation where parents are scared of the safeguarding risk to their kids BY THE SCHOOL.

I would take someone with you to help.

My school is good, with gender neutral uniform options as standard. There's appropriate support for children questioning their gender. A mix of toilets is good too. It might be your school are actually sane too, talk to them.

You are upset that your school is a safe place that doesn't tolerate discrimination and prejudice?

Blimey. Doesn't sound like mainstream education is for you.

Or she’s worried that her autistic and gender non-conforming daughter will be persuaded that her body is wrong and she needs to be medicated. (I really don’t get how we can have all these body positivity movements at the same time as a movement which suggests hating your pubescent breasts can be resolved by surgically removing them).

More here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3154752-Trans-extremism-schools

Excellent point from RowdyWoman:

'Most transgender organisations are political pressure groups in that they try to influence public policy in the interest of their particular cause. Schools are constrained by the duty to comply with Sections 406 and 407 of the Education Act 1996 which forbids ‘the promotion of partisan political views…’

There is also a requirement found in the Prevent Duty and Teaching Controversial Issues for Schools which places a duty on schools to “secure that where political issues are brought to the attention of pupils… they are offered a balanced presentation of opposing views”. So groups trying to influence policy about say changing the use of sex segregated spaces in schools, changing school policy, changing language used in schools etc are acting as political pressure groups and if they are working with pupils there MUST be a balance of views.

Trans pressure groups present themselves as dealing with bullying, vulnerability etc but in addition to this, they are politically influencing school policy and practice - and there are laws about this. It's just that nobody has picked up on this as they only 'see' the initial anti bullying advice.'

Transgender Trend has sone excellent resources and I'd send a copy to the school or contact TT who can alao send a copy to the school:

www.transgendertrend.com/schools-resources/

You are upset that your school is a safe place that doesn't tolerate discrimination and prejudice?

I think you’re on the wrong thread. No one has said that here.

This is also a helpful article for schools

www.tes.com/magazine/article/supporting-transgender-students-what-you-need-know

And OP, if anyone tells you the Transgendertrend resources for schools are “dangerous” and are not compliant with the Equality Act 2010 (as Stonewall claim in their website), email their head of education and ask her to give you specific examples from the document of non-compliance, cross-referenced with the relevant part of the Act. I have asked and they have no evidence, just opinions.

@reginafelangee I’m not upset but I’m concerned that the school might not be a safe place for my DDs. One of which has autism and is very non gender conforming. Ironically the school is part of the academy trust (we dealt with the head and chair of the board) we took to court for disability discrimination against my youngest son who attended one of their schools (we won). So I know all about discrimination thanks.

I don’t think anyone should be discriminated against but my concerns are for the rights and feelings of my dds. One or possibility either who might feel uncomfortable sharing a changing space or toilet with a boy.

Thanks for all the helpful posts so far.

Puberty and teenage years are incredibly difficult for autistic girls. There is a well evidenced and documented link between rapid onset gender dysphoria and autism in both boys and girls but the volume of girls affected is massively higher than boys.

OP I have similar situation and am very very careful about what can be accessed on the Internet, I do a lot of look at this, look at these amazing non conforming women, women are not less, women are more. Women’s bodies can do amazing things aren’t they incredible. I’m downright blunt that changing sex is not scientifically possible, that clothes are clothes, and interests are interests alongside that it is polite to not upset people if they don’t see it the same way.

Autistic girls and boys, but particularly girls need very specific teaching about your body, your autonomy, your ability to say no. This is critical.

I’m all over the sensory issues of puberty and periods. Currently ok but if it escalates I have a plan. PM me if I can help.

I think it perfectly sensible to ask school how they are going to differentiate PHSE lessons to account for disability and literal thinking. I have a friend whose autistic son refuses to sign the photo permission as a direct result of the school internet safety chat which he takes very seriously. It’s a good example of how one approach can have an effect they don’t expect on literal kids.

As far as changing rooms etc are concerned it’s a mess. And while change where you identify is popular it’s not actually legal. See FairPlay for women.

You actually have an advantage in that your daughters autism means she cannot be expected to believe in identity rather than biological sex and you might be able to use that for differentiation if the situation comes up. Competing rights of protection, disability and gender transition. The schools problem to accommodate both.

It is NOT prejudice to object to schools teaching nonsense, as FACTS, to children.

'Biological sex is on a spectrum' is NOT a fact. 'Some, but not all boys, have a penis and some, but not all girls, have a vagina' is NOT a fact.

Good luck, OP I have everything crossed for Maya's tribunal. If this can be established as a belief, we'll be on much surer ground.

I am a teacher and you are right to be concerned. Everyone should be.

@ koshkat that’s really worrying. I’ve talked to my mum about it and she made me feel like I was on some kind of mad quest and there was no basis to my concerns.

@CatalogueUniverse that’s really kind thank you. I’ll definitely be asking the question.

I’m a longtime poster but have changed nn for this topic to try to preserve my daughter’s privacy.

Her school is not a Stonewall champion school, but is a LGBT Youth Scotland one which is a similar idea.

I would be very very careful and keep on top of the school. Our DD is 14 and has an informal (from child psychologist) diagnosis of high functioning autism- DD agrees with the diagnosis but refuses to be formally assessed. She was never GNC as a child, but hit a very rough adolescence and struggles socially. She has a long history of obsessive fantasies and taking on the role of different characters, usually based on whatever TV show she is currently obsessed with.

Just over a year ago she started going to the schools LGBT club to keep a bi friend company. She fretted for weeks that she was the only straight child there, and then suddenly announced that she was asexual, non binary and was changing her name. The leader of the club is also her Year Head and he told us it was school policy to go along with what she wanted and we naively thought we couldn’t question it.

This October, we found out that the same teacher told our unaware 17 year old son that his sister was now a boy and that the school was now referring to her as “he/him” etc. He did not tell us- our son had to. I had an awful meeting with the YH where he again said it was school policy and only if we had a psychologist say that it would harm her mental health, that the school might reconsider policy.

At this point we put in a formal complaint to the Head which was upheld and we received a full and unreserved apology. The YH had made up school policy where he did not have the authority to do so.

The YH had been following LGBT Youth Scotland guidance which says the school should carry out what the child wants and should not tell the parents without the child’s permission.

So- please do keep a close eye. I feel as though our child has almost been groomed but the YH (she also told us she was feeling pressure to become the student head of the LGBT club and give talks at assembly which she absolutely did not want to do- the school has now stopped this as well) into this state. She can struggle with reality and is easily influenced. He had no interest in the wider picture around her problems- his only concern was making sure we were positively affirming her as well and was not happy that we weren’t.

Be careful and don’t be afraid to push back at the school if needed.

@rodgmum that sounds like an awful experience. How awful for you and your daughter. I can’t believe they’d do something like this in school (where you’d hope they’d be safe). I’ll be keeping a very very close eye on the school as she has mentioned before she feels like a boy because she wears boys clothes and she really doesn’t like the idea of periods so I’m very aware she could be very taken in by the ideology.

I think that the most at risk group here are girls with autism and I keep a very close eye on those that I teach. But the ideology is out there and it is everywhere online.
I hope that there are some gender critical sensible teachers in all of our schools who are switched on to this horror show but I fear that things may get worse before they get better.

DD is autistic, GNC, wears boys trousers as they have pockets and are more comfortable than the only girls ones that fit uniform criteria. She is very persuadable. I have been talking to her about sex being fixed as she is into science. She has probably read a few threads here too, over the shoulder.. I started talking to her about it soon after I found get board and found out the risk to her being persuaded of various things.

I do worry for her. Helps that I am a GNC probably autistic women, who wears things designed for men if they fit better/ more practical etc.