Women doing all of the PTA's work

[PassingIntoTheWest]

The PTA at my DC's school is great - they earn a significant amount of money for the school every year, so they're able to meaningfully support the school and the pupils in different ways.

But... Everyone on the PTA is a woman. Everyone who goes to the regular meetings is a woman. Someone has just got frustrated with a lack of volunteers to wrap Christmas gifts for the children, and now lots of women are replying saying that they can't help because they'll be at work; no men are replying. And (finally) most of the people who help at events are women.

Why are these things seen to be wifework? And how can I mention it without coming across as a grumpy feminist?

Have you canvassed the opinion of your DC's father?

I totally agree...which is why my DH is on the PTA and I'm on the governing body.
There are a couple of other dads too but it's mainly women. I'm not sure how to change that though....at our school it's mainly women who either don't work or work part time which contributes to the imbalance.

Own your inner grumpy feminist and just tell them

I probably couldn’t hold it in but most people are a bit less blunt than me. I’d be on the group chat asking where all the dads are and posting gifs of tumbleweed but I can see that might not win you friends.

😄 good reply @HorseWithNoFucksToGive - yes, my DP is a pretty good feminist ally. He has helped at events previously, and would probably go to a meeting with some gentle-ish encouragement.

I suppose it's the recent pressure to help with the Christmas wrapping (during office hours 🤔) combined with feeling mildly guilty that I can't help, then seeing all the women replying to say that they'd be at work that made me think about this again.

I'd love to do that @BadgertheBodger 😂.

I wonder if lots of Dads don't even follow the PTA FB page now that I think about it. Because that's, you know, wifework. But they're perfectly happy to have a fun event for the kids to go to, or to eat the buns or whatever.

It's been noticeable in all the schools I am or have been involved with, that the only fathers involved in volunteering for the school are in actively volunteering parent pairs. I have only once come across a father who volunteers where the mother does not, and that was my own dh, who volunteered as a weekend and holiday swimming pool supervisor while our dc were very young.

I think you should definitely get your DH involved. Lead by example!

Both of us are on the PTA WhatsApp but my DH responds on our behalf and is the one to volunteer if needed. We agreed we both wanted to be involved in the school .. my experience lends itself to being a governor ( plus work give me time off) so we agreed DH would be on the PTA. Sharing the mental load helps hugely

I'm on our school PTA - each request for help specifically states we welcome all volunteers and especially Dads. Now we've got a few that are pretty active and are very good at badgering their mates.
Sadly we get the most support when we do 'Dad' activities like sports, gardening went down well, and physical activities at fairs. And yes, I know those aren't activities for males, but they get more male volunteers. It's crap but I think PTAs have to proactively go after them for a while and then it snowballs.
The flip side is miraculously the school manages to put these things on first thing in the morning once the Dads are involved with the knock on effect of helping working mums participate too.

I think you're right @DarkMutterings, it would be good if the PTA actively encouraged Dads, and a small amount of visible male participation might lead to more in the future.