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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Lolita was a sex worker

31 replies

SadlyMissTaken · 11/11/2019 09:47

For those who haven't read it Lolita is a story of a child who is kidnapped and repeatedly raped by a paedophile. Now reinterpreted as a sex worker. No words for this.
aeon.co/amp/ideas/lolita-understood-that-some-sex-is-transactional-so-did-i?__twitter_impression=true

OP posts:
RealityNotEssentialism · 11/11/2019 14:31

The author of that piece appears to be all shades of messed up. She talks about becoming sexualised at a very young age and it sounds like her reaction was a way of trying to take control of a situation where she was powerless. I find that many sex workers will try to kid themselves how wonderful and empowering it is because admitting the truth is too painful. Ditto with many women in abusive relationships. Which is why we don’t listen to them protesting that their husband/boyfriend loves them really and that it’s not abusive. Why are we just taking the word of those in prostitution? They are just as likely to be brainwashed or in denial.

StopThePlanet · 11/11/2019 15:17

Every state except Delaware and New Jersey allows underage marriage in exceptional circumstances if one or more of the following circumstances apply:

consent of a court clerk or judge (sometimes the consent of a superior court judge, rather than a local judge, is required) consent of the parents or legal guardians of the minor if one of the parties is pregnant
if the minor has given birth to a child
if the minor is emancipated.
So, as of May 2019, in the 34 states that have set a marriage age by statute, the lower minimum marriage age when all exceptions are taken into account, are:

14 in two states: Alaska and North Carolina.
15 in four states.
16 in twenty states.
17 in eight states.
From 2017[33][34] to 2019[35][36][37][38][39][40][41][42] several states changed their law to set a minimum age, or to raise their minimum age.

In Massachusetts the general marriage age is 18, but children may be married with judicial consent with no minimum age limit.[43] In the absence of any statutory minimum age, one opinion is that the minimum common law marriageable age of 12 for girls and 14 for boys may still apply.[44][45]

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_marriage_in_the_United_States

While child marriage is not socially acceptable in most US cities it is legal as per the above the laws permit it (varies by state and territory) and occurs in rural areas as well as cities.

I didn't read the article referenced but based on the quotes provided the writer has extremely damaging perspectives/rationalizations on Lolita. Lolita is not a fucking love story or a young girl's journey into 'sex work' or about 'consenting to exploitation' it is about CSA and psychological torture.

RealityNotEssentialism · 11/11/2019 15:25

Sadly we allow child marriage in this country too.

Michelleoftheresistance · 11/11/2019 15:46

Humbert not only knew what he was doing was wrong, he was also an unreliable narrator who imposed his own interpretations on Lolita's actions to excuse his own whilst also skipping over the proof of her abuse.

This.

The general public have no confusion about this. If they catch a highly dodgy bloke behaving like this with a child they will not stand around intellectualising wankery about the functions of the child's body in a patriarchal etc etc. The ones with penises won't discuss it here or write outraged letters and try to change the system, or report it to social services either, particularly if the child is related to them or to someone they care about. They will produce a short, sharp solution that deals with actions, not words.

Goosefoot · 12/11/2019 02:56

I don't think it seems like a very good explanation of the text.

I do think human psychology is quite complicated and people can become invested in their own abuse in all kinds of ways. I can imagine someone in a similar situation to Lolita developing a transactional view of sex, it seems pretty likely really, and maybe an effective way to cope and survive in a situation which you couldn't change.

But I don't think it's clear that's really what happens in the novel. She seems to me to sort of wither away. Though I suppose we don't find out much about her adult relationships.

Bluerussian · 12/11/2019 03:20

That's bad, Lolita was only 12 when seduced by Humber - and he killed her mother who was his wife. He married her mother to gain access to Lolita.

What's more she was often in a state, she didn't like the situation. She cried and then crawled back to him because, he said, "She had nowhere else to go". That was dreadful, quite heartbreaking to read. The whole story is quite creepy, written as it was in the words of the abuser who was in no doubt about what he was doing, he was her stepfather for goodness sake and when they travelled around, everyone thought they were father and daughter.

Garfieldsarm Mon 11-Nov-19 10:13:07
Isn't the article more about how repeated abuse has led Lolita to see sex as transactional because she has never had a choice, because she has been so damaged?
.......
That's a good point and I know that happens in real life when a youngster has been sexually abused. However Lolita married somebody after leaving Humber Humbert. She did ask him for some financial help after she'd been married a while and had children but I never saw her as a person who believed sex was transactional.

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