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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

My email to M&S

44 replies

WomanBornNotWorn · 03/11/2019 10:02

I am writing to protest about the M&S decision to “allow customers to use the fitting room they feel comfortable to use in respect of how they identify themselves”.

In your changing rooms, women and girls are vulnerable, both physically and emotionally.

We talk about puberty, pregnancy and mastectomy.

We deal with distressing body image, self doubt and comparisons with idealised images.

We are undressed - and most of us have never learned to defend ourselves.

Women and girls are entitled to safety, dignity and privacy because of the unique vulnerabilities of our sex, and the Equality Act 2010 allows you to accommodate our needs.

But now you announce that men can get into our space if they feel like it.

That's not the language you've used - but it's what you've done.

Did you ask your women and girl customers and staff what we wanted?

Your changing rooms will no longer be a safe space.

'Locked cubicles'? Hidden cameras stream spy porn over the internet. Google 'molka' for evidence.

'Separate partitions'? Hands with phone cameras appear under and over partitions, and curtains can be pulled back.

Allowing this loophole is an open invitation to predatory men to get in, claiming they identify as women.

Your poor untrained and unsupported staff will not be able to do a thing about it.

But unless you change to a practical, considerate solution giving women our rights to privacy, discretion and dignity - and men who say they identify as women a separate space, as Center Parcs have achieved - your customers will.

You have no idea how many women and girls have suffered from predatory male behaviour - yet you are making it easier for it to happen.

This is not just a sexist, dangerous PR disaster.

It's an M&S sexist, dangerous PR disaster.

OP posts:
Glenthezombiebattlingostrich · 03/11/2019 10:04

Excellent email

Joisanofthedales · 03/11/2019 10:05

Good email 😊

HandsOffMyRights · 03/11/2019 10:07

Excellent.

SarahTancredi · 03/11/2019 10:08

Let us know if you get a response.

The only good thing to come out of this is that hopefully now people will get their bras fitted elsewhere. Properly. M&s are notorious for being crap.

Their angel range sizing Is way off.

M&s are welcome to their male fan club. Let's see how far it gets them....

jenthelibrarian · 03/11/2019 10:09

womansplaceuk.org/2019/11/03/dear-marks-spencer-women-only-changing-rooms/?fbclid=IwAR24xa-ZWbjQLmEJ30Ma8Zmx8sZx3-wXL0P7DYZwN3OHizoY1BOyDmTVJuY

This linky has all the details, a model letter and an email link.
I plan to email HQ and write to the local store manager.

MotherofTerriers · 03/11/2019 10:10

Brilliant email

GaraMedouar · 03/11/2019 10:10

Look forward to the response. That was an excellent email.

Babdoc · 03/11/2019 10:12

M and S were losing market share heavily even before this suicide attempt by their marketing department.
Let’s hope they backtrack rapidly, or their demise will be not only hastened but assured.
And frankly, they will be no great loss. Have you looked at their clothes recently?!

Cuntysnark · 03/11/2019 10:19

I’ve emailed the chair but cannot find email addresses for my local store :-/

Suebnm · 03/11/2019 10:22

I am tearful beyond words with this. I am very severely disabled and M and S very recently said my husband couldn't come into the changing room with me. I thought rightly so at the time. They were very good at helping me - no problem there.

Should he have said 'for the purposes of this one hour I am a woman?' This is disgraceful!

WomanBornNotWorn · 03/11/2019 10:23

I couldn't find an email for my local store but there's a phone number so I"ll see if they can give me a local email too. Sent to the chairman so far.

OP posts:
APerkyPumpkin · 03/11/2019 10:25

It could explain the horrendous decisions of the buying staff, perhaps they won't actually want to sell to women in the first place?

I might find one item I like in there on my yearly trip. All those ruffles and cut out shoulders. What's that all about?

It's not about me, that's for sure.

APerkyPumpkin · 03/11/2019 10:26

Should he have said 'for the purposes of this one hour I am a woman?' This is disgraceful!

Go back, get him to say 'actually, this blouse is for me', and let us know what happens.

WomanBornNotWorn · 03/11/2019 11:37

I've just received the automated no-reply response:

''Thank you very much for contacting me. We are very keen to hear from all our customers and shareholders and appreciate you making the effort to write to me.

I am sure you will understand that we receive a huge amount of feedback so cannot respond to every contact straight away. However, we do read every single one and a member of our team will be in touch shortly.

Thank you again.

Archie Norman

Chairman

[email protected]''

We'll see if anything else happens.

OP posts:
misscockerspaniel · 03/11/2019 13:49

All those ruffles and cut out shoulders. What's that all about

May be they are not targeting the women's market Wink

boatyardblues · 03/11/2019 13:53

May be they are not targeting the women's market

The acres of polyester and “cashmillion” knitwear suggest they aren’t interested in menopausal women’s custom, for sure.

Wearywithteens · 03/11/2019 14:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/11/2019 14:17

Good communication. They are attempting to court the Muslim shoppers with little girl hijabs and halal food - and this? It seems rather disconnected.

And their Vegan range is horrible.

Olencia · 03/11/2019 14:29

The email was excellent in conveying our worries until I reached the end of which to be blunt horrified me, why are you turning this into a joke?

You've ruined the severity of this sensitive issue, why on earth did you put that in at the end.

Surely it's known that "this is not just , it's an M&S" is a running joke among the public and is making fun of their voice-over ads, why would you do such a thing when you're expressing concern and speaking on behalf of so many on such a sensitive matter, all the while trying to get them to take you seriously and expect change?

What was previously a very empowering, vocal message is now ruined with that last sentence, I was all for every bit of it until I got to the end as it changed the entire mood of the email.

That was incredibly daft of you honestly.

Now is not the time to be making jokes and witty remarks, you should not have done that.

I suggest tweaking it and having something we can all send to show to M&S and put it in numbers the amount of us backing this.

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 03/11/2019 14:58

I've just emailed. I don't hold out much hope I adapted the womans place email but the main thing I put in was this:

I am ONLY comfortable using single sex changing rooms. As are my daughters. What will you do to accommodate me and the many other women like me?

Also, if they're segregating by gender identity aren't there something like 100+ genders? Seems like they'll need a bigger store.

Sparklfairy · 03/11/2019 15:04

Also, if they're segregating by gender identity aren't there something like 100+ genders? Seems like they'll need a bigger store.

That's a point, where will Piers Morgan try on clothes since he identifies as a two spirit penguin??

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/11/2019 15:05

I’ll compose something when I’m not quite so fucking pissed off and raging (another matter all together but it’s not a good day for me to get entangled with this nonsense).

And breathe...

IsadoraQuagmire · 03/11/2019 15:49

I've just got the standard acknowledgement too. The actual reply will be a load of old nonsense like everyone else's, but the more emails they get the better!

WomanBornNotWorn · 03/11/2019 15:51

The Woman's Place email is a great starting point.

But if m&s keep receiving the same content, they may well start to ignore them as spam.

So best to write your own email in your own way covering the relevant points that matter to you, rather than copy and paste an existing email, or saying what people can and cannot include in their own voices. Playing back their own marketing campaign with a personal spin is my choice. You'll have your own preferred way of writing - all good, because it highlights that we are many different individual voices, not all the same one.

I also included a personal experience in my email, which I haven't included here.

OP posts:
JamesBlonde1 · 03/11/2019 16:10

Shouldn't Piers Morgan be invited to discuss this on GMB? Get this issue to the masses? M&S would love that.