FFS. Scottish Census (Again)

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/4894324/sexualities-scotland-census-list

Apologies for Sun link

"Sexual orientation will be featured for the first time in the census, which takes place every ten years."

This is good. Will be very useful to know about the LGB population, nice straightforward question. But hang on...

"National Records of Scotland revealed in a letter to MSPs they planned to expand the four basic categories initially proposed — straight or heterosexual, gay or lesbian, bisexual and other."

"The 21 “other” options for census respondents are mooted as androphilic, androsexual, asexual, bicurious, bisexual, demiromantic, demisexual, fluid, gay, gynephilic, gynesexual, homosexual, heterosexual, lesbian, pansexual, polysexual, queer, questioning, skoliosexual, straight and unsure."

Sigh.

I wont be answering honestly, my sexual orientation is none of the government's business, and I'm read up on all this crap and am LGBTsoup and have no idea what half of that mean. The average person hasn't a chance.

But more importantly since we live in a country where political extremists with ITC backgrounds have infiltrated and regulatory captured government unchecked, and belong to groups who describe at length their interest in punishing homosexual women with rape and murder for excluding males from their bodies, I don't intend to be recorded anywhere in government databases as a lesbian.

And as I've said before, if it's ok for some people to fill this census in using their preferred choices of fact as opposed to reality then it's ok for everybody. Lets crack on. As we predicted, it'll be an expensive waste of time producing useless information that serves no practical purpose and is a criminal waste of public resources, but it might as well be interesting reading.

I'm sitting here fuming and half wishing you hadn't mentioned the religion question NonnyMouse.

Sectarianism is a real problem in Scotland*. I know dozens of people who have been physically assaulted for being Catholic or Protestant when they were no such thing. We are shoved into our little sectarian boxes age 5 and people make assumptions about us for the rest of our lives on that basis.

But god forbid we might waste time addressing real problems.

*I appreciate this is not true of all parts of Scotland

The Sun story may not been entirely correct According to Equality Network, they are the twenty-one most commonly answered sexualities in surveys, and they pop up as a predictive text aid.

Oh and, "Parliament was not made aware of this list before passing the census bill."

twitter.com/JoanMcAlpine/status/1189544618976841728?s=19

I'll turn a blind eye to "skoliosexual" if it means I can describe myself as askoliosexual without getting any flak for it.

Gynesexual can fuck off; it deliberately groups lesbians with straight men.

Gynesexual can fuck off; it deliberately groups lesbians with straight men

Quite possibly that was the intention if certain pressure groups were involved.

The statisticians still won't have any useful data even with all those options as nowhere on the census will it be made clear whether someone identifying as a lesbian will be at risk of conditions like prostate/ovarian cancer or not.

I am a piesexual. I love pies

Twitter having fun with this today.

Below

Rodeosexual...men who think they’re a bucking bronco...and that women like that sort of stuff

'Skoliosexual is a relatively new term that refers to people who are attracted to people who are transgender or nonbinary'.

This means everyone who isn't skoliosexual is a transphobe

This means everyone who isn't skoliosexual is a transphobe

Yep

No surprises there. Everyone who isn't having sex with a transperson 100% of the time is transphobic, so far as I can tell.

It's fair to say the entire known universe and everything in it is transphobic.

Oi!

What about us foot fetishists?

We are homosocksuals, heterosocksuals, monosocksuals and bisocksuals.

The night I met my partner I felt strongly attracted to him because he could use a sewing machine competently.

I hope that one's there, otherwise it's literal violence.

I wonder how many scoliosexuals there are?
I'll have a guess... maybe 3 and they all know each other.

A quick twitter/Facebook search will probably reveal who they are.

The scoliosexuals of Scotland.

A valuable addition to the census data.

Skolio even.
Even my autocorrect is confused.

Good spelling is very imporrant. A scoliosexual is someone attracted to people with wonky spines, surely?

And "exclusively attracted to people with excellent SPaG skills who can really string a sentence together" better be an option, or I'll be invalidated out of existence.

I recently heard of Prince described as a Gynophile.

Maybe all these new terms are caused by Sudden Onset Autocorrectosis.

SOA = Unavoidable attachment to labels that confuse victimhood with sexual orientation.
Associated with smart phone use, the labels originate in people with poor spelling skills.
Once a new spelling mistake is discovered there is an uncontrollable urge to turn it into a fetish.

More commonly known as Me Me Me Syndrome (MMMS).