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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

sexual harrasment at work

19 replies

Cherylshaw · 29/10/2019 22:41

this might be quite long so I apologise if it's a pain to read but really just looking to see if I am over reacting about it all.
this isn't about me but a woman at my work.
I'll start from the beginning so not to drip feed.
my dp worked with a man who had to resign from his job as he had been sexually harassing a young woman (25ish) this involved begging her to leave her boyfriend for him, saying he would leave his wife for her, driving past her house at all times of day and night and finally cornering her in a small office type building and being rude and full on till she was so scared she was crying and took time off work.
she complained numerous times as did other people there but it fell on deaf ears untill she recorded him and finally they listened. however he had the choice to resign rather than be fired.
he then got a job at my work a few months later, we live in a rural location so most people knew what had happened previously but we were all told to give him the benefit of the doubt as it could all be small town gossip etc
one of the women at work have had a similar experience the other week, asking her out (he is married) when she said no he got in a strop and was banging things around and acting aggressive, he put money in her bag when she asked why he did that he said because he could and she could take it how she likes but he would like no strings or more?? I don't know everything that was said but she took a few days off work as she felt too uncomfortable to come in.
she went to our manager about it and he said "you need to look at it from a man's point of view he was only asking you out" obviously she was shocked and refused to leave the office untill he understood how all this made her feel. they gave him a week off work and then transferred him to a newer part of the company (different location) where he originally wanted to work with a better position than what he had before.
I'm I wrong in thinking this is a joke and surly not right??
most of the woman that work in our section are shocked and feel like this shouldn't have been the outcome, is there something we can do?
it makes us uncomfortable as there are a lot of young women working in the new location and they should be aware of this

OP posts:

parietal · 29/10/2019 22:59

definitely not right. He should not be asking people out at work and should not be corning them in an aggressive fashion.

have these events been logged with HR so that the record will follow him to the new location?

would either women who was harassed be prepared to go to the police? If a company won't deal with this, it can be very hard to force them. but a police investigation might get a stronger response from the company.

Hecateh · 29/10/2019 23:02

Unless the new position is on a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere they are being very very unreasonable.

I would suggest letting everyone in the new location know what has gone on

Fucking ridiculous that this is still going on

Original poster

Cherylshaw · 29/10/2019 23:04

she was told she could take it to hr but that he (manager) was dealing with it so she didn't have to. I advised her today she should call head office and do that. I know if he didn't resign from the first job that getting the police involved was threatened but as he left it wasn't followed through. I don't think either woman want to make a big deal about it

OP posts:

Goosefoot · 30/10/2019 00:31

That's pretty bizarre, I'd have expected any employer to be right on that.And the bosses comment is weird. I understand that people can sometimes be dorks when trying to ask someone out and make a faux pas, but that doesn't seem to be the issue here, especially in light of his previous behaviour. To me, this guy is either actually predatory or has serious behavioural regulation issues, in which case he should only be working under supervision.

As far as the transfer, I would guess they aren't trying to reward him so much as keep him away from the woman he is bothering, but it seems kind of shitty. I have a hard time seeing someone that impaired as being able to do a very responsible job.

BoomBoomsCousin · 30/10/2019 01:24

She needs to report b the guy and her manager to HR. The manager’s response “you need to look at it from a man’s point of view.” was totally unacceptable and likely not in keeping with HR policy. And he lessens the trust the women working in his department can have in the safety of the work place which could contribute to constructive dismissal down the line.

His rewarding the guy with a move to a preferred role also undermines the seriousness of the behaviour and ensures it’s kept off his record so when he harasses his next victim HR won’t have the context of the repeated pattern.

BoomBoomsCousin · 30/10/2019 01:25

*both, not b.

RosesAndLilies · 30/10/2019 02:45

The manager is either an idiot or he has a personal relationship with the guy and is protecting him.

I definitely think your colleague needs to report this to HR. The man is a predator

Original poster

Cherylshaw · 30/10/2019 07:08

thanks for all your comments, I will advise again to go to HR and make sure it is in his record

OP posts:

quincejamplease · 30/10/2019 07:12

She could also call Acas for advice on the procedure that should be followed. They can give qualified advice and it's free.

Karabair · 30/10/2019 07:19

She can file a grievance against him. That’s the first step in HR procedures.

Karabair · 30/10/2019 07:21

It has to be formalised. A grievance means they have to investigate and follow procedures not brush it under the carpet.

ThanosSavedMe · 30/10/2019 07:25

Someone needs to kick up a stink about this man. Wtf is he being rewarded, he should be out.

aliasundercover · 30/10/2019 11:25

I'm not sure about going to HR. HR do what's best for the company, not what's best for you.
This is why unions are so important. They stand up for us.

Dervel · 30/10/2019 11:33

I heard of failing upwards, and now apparently harassing upwards? This is crazy batshittery of the highest order.

Unnnndeadcake · 30/10/2019 19:25

He suggested she was a prostitute. That is NOT "he was just asking her out".

Karabair · 30/10/2019 22:33

There has to be more to the story as to why these employers are protecting and promoting him.

Original poster

Cherylshaw · 30/10/2019 22:37

I dont understand why it's been treated this way either, I do know that he is friends with my manager and in his previous job he was friends with the manager there too so I can only assume that's why he is being protected.

OP posts:

Karabair · 31/10/2019 00:02

It sounds like there's an old boy's network there. My immediate thought was funny handshakes. It's not unknown in some workplaces.

thegoodwoman · 31/10/2019 14:35

I am currently dealing with a similar situation in the workplace...disgusting what other managers condone as "acceptable behaviour" just because they can't be bothered to sit there and go through the necessary paperwork!

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