sex positive and saying no

[skql]

i think sex positive movement make it hard to say no.

Ideally you can, woman can, man can, children can.
but real world it's more Elaborate Trap.

"my ex did it for me..."
"every one does that..."
"you think you are special?..."

and the culture says how good and confident woman loves sex and kinky thing.

why all have to sex positive?
some of woman and man want to sex with really really loved one or
save sex(?) for marriage.

Because the sexual revolution made it out that women can (and should) behave like men for true equality - promiscuous, playing the field, no strings attached fun.
Apparently it’s ‘liberating’ and ‘empowering’ to act like a man

I've never found it hard to say no.
This is a conversation my Mum had with me and I have had with my DD.

I personally haven’t found it difficult to say no, I dIdn’t have sex until I was 27, out of choice not a lack of opportunity.

Sex positivity should mean having the confidence to say what tou do and don’t like etc.

There was a great article by Grace Dent in one of the Guardian magazines recently. Mostly about the use of 'demisexual' as a term/Identity. It was a funny and well observed article and I was very heartened by the use of this label by young people. Basically saying no sex before a relationship.

@beamur @simonjt

yes we should do that.

Yeah. From what little I understand of 'sex positivity' it usually somehow involves removing people's boundaries while depicting this as a good thing.

I also tend to see something in common between the people whose boundaries get worked on to come down and who tend to get the less positive outcomes, and something different in common between the people working on removing those boundaries who tend to get the most positive outcomes and understandably are all for it. But I'm apparently imagining it, as biological sex is a social construct or something.

Because the original messages in the 60s 70s 80s which were about female pleasure etc got picked up and subverted by men to mean women should do whatever they want.

Most of the gains that women make end up turned against us.

The pill
More access top employment
Openness about sex and trying to remove stigma

They take it and run with it to get what they want

It's a bugger really.

I think teen girls have always struggled to say no in the face of whining badgering coercing boys.

I think it's sex positive to be comfortable saying no when you don't want to have sex.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying good sex.

Feminists in the 60s demanded equity and the men have been insisting ever since that equality is all that is on offer. Most Feminists recognized it as a bait and switch immediately. That is when the backlash against Feminism began.
"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread." Anatole France (1844-1924)

• I think it's sex positive to be comfortable saying no when you don't want to have sex. There is nothing wrong with enjoying good sex.*

It's what I'd call positive sex positive.

There is no time nor place when women saying no to men has ever been socially acceptable.

If anyone says "you think you are special?..." I'd say, yes, I am.

We all are special and can all choose when to say yes, or no.

I waited until 27 to have sex too, SimonJT, and yes by choice.

We need to tell our children that it is OK to say no.