the majority of children with gender dysphoria will desist if they go through their normal puberty and that a large majority of them will turn out to be lesbian or gay (which suggests to me that some kind of genetic and/or early socialisation effect is involved)
Many girls reject the female sex role when they are young and are nicknamed “tom boys”, they usually stop when they are teens and start dating boys, as to be “feminine” is more attractive to boys. Of course there is a lot of societal pressure on girls to date boys, and to fit in with their peers, and a lot of pressure on girls to adhere to feminine beauty practices when they are in their teens, so it is not surprising many start to conform more at that age. If a young woman continues to refuse to conform the female sex role, she will likely be called names or feel like she is different from the other girls, this will have an impact on how she views herself and how she makes sense of things. Of course not all lesbians were “tom boys” when small, some have always been been more “feminine”, though grow up to be no less lesbian.
Moreover, any child that does not adhere to sex role stereotypes are often called names that imply they are gay or lesbian by their peers, family and/or others in their environment. This will have an impact on how they view themselves and how they interpret their experiences, feelings etc. Now sex role non conforming behaviour is often seen not as a sign of being gay/lesbian, but as a sign of being trans, so of course a young person growing up in such an environment is likely to conclude they are trans, rather than gay/lesbian.
Being lesbian is to be exclusively attracted to women and not to be attracted to men.
I am not a political lesbian. I just don’t believe in “born this way” never have. I used to be bothered about whether political lesbians were exclusively attracted to women and whether they were attracted to men, I am not so bothered anymore. I have spoken to a few, they my not have the same experiences as those of us who are not political lesbians, but then many women don’t have the exact same experiences. As long as we talk to them about our concerns things can be resolved, at least in my experience, but then I am not one who subscribes to “born this way”. I eventually came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter at the end of the day, as long as they are supporting lesbians, and are showing young lesbians they don’t need to change their bodies to love women, and are helping us enforce our boundaries to say no to men, that is all that matters to me.
I never feel like my experiences quite fit so I can’t really join in.
I think women sharing their experiences with each other in private groups can be a good thing, as long as it is done with mutual respect and empathy.