Transexual women face erasure - interesting thread

[pombear]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3667526-Transsexual-women-face-erasure

Given that so many posters said what an interesting and enlightening thread this ended up turning into, with some really key issues discussed and some strong points made by lots of posters (I particularly welcomed Barracker's refresh regarding the importance of language), it seems a shame if it drops down the list due to being full and people miss out on reading it (what with it being summer holidays and all).

And the disgust I feel at you being told that you personally sacrificing yourself for a male centred Cause is how you serve a better society and be a better Christian. And a better woman.

Women were laughing at this sort of open misogynist shit sixty years ago.

The reality is providing a man with choice of facilities so he doesn't have to feel invalidated or unaccepted is more important than your need for any safe shelter, a bed, somewhere to sleep. A man's feelings and right to choice are honestly more valued than a woman's basic life needs.

As much as I don't want to address Bespin, I do have this to say

There are no shelter facilities across three states around me, within 1500 Mile drive, that do not have trans individuals as volunteers and or residents. I was told very firmly if a shelter refused trans individuals they would lose funding both official and donations.

There is not any provision for xx born females.

Please stop telling me the reality of my experience and suffering does not exist, and there is help which does not involve male born people in close spaces.

I absolutely agree about being told to be inclusive, and lied to about how trans identified people are gentle in the same way women are AS A RULE.

I did tell the handmaiden, politely as I could manage, that she was sacrificing women's safety for men's feelings.

That my wearing jeans and high necked t shirts did not make me a man. And I cannot share unlockable spaces, enclosed spaces. I surely can't be the only survivor to feel this way?

I was hoping a smaller, religious affiliated shelter in a smaller city might help. But no.

Hey hey Detroit

How are you? How is it there? I’m near a beach, although it’s ‘winter’ here, and it’s also the middle of the night. So at 8 degrees I’m brr lol

What’s it like there? Are you comfortable? Safe? Is it pretty?

If you started your own thread, I’m sure people would be interested.

Even if you can’t post here, you can read. Hope you’ve seen all the messages and don’t feel quite so alone.

Tearing apart womens services, destroying female only provision in an attempt for personal succour, kicks and pleasure is so male in it's centering of the individual.

I need help accessing medical care for an injury which is not healing, leaving me in permanent pain. I need an attorney, well I need a better attorney

The free one I got myself allocated suggested that I should be grateful for a divorce, and I should give up my rights to pension, property, savings, alimony. I was advised that as a victim of domestic violence I should be grateful for just a divorce. The unsaid, hinted at undertone was, well it can't be so bad if you aren't grateful, after a long marriage, for just your freedom.ill take my freedom for myself. I was hoping for a non destitute future.

But yeah, sure, Bespin, adequate and fair provision for female born women.

Bullshit that fluffy slippers and a screeching demand to be treated as wonen makes society more gentle. Doesn't feel too gentle and empathic to me.

I absolutely was reading, and it provided much comfort.

It is pretty. I feel too nervous identifying details of where I am, but it's a nice touristy area, and the weather is warm enough at night still. That is going to change soon enough, but I've good equipment. Replaced my flashlight after the terror of the bear that turned out to be a deer. Bear and cougar warnings always make me nervous.

Kids go back to school soon, so hopefully I can find more comfortable camping. I'm grateful I can be at least this comfortable.

I need a dog. Ild sleep better with a dog. Though, I guess this is not the best situation for a dog right now.

Detroit you sound so resourceful and upbeat. Like you’ve worked out the (immediate) problems and you’ll solve them 🙌

Yeah, you don’t have to do details of where you are, stay safe. Easy for me I have a locked door, but I do get that you feel vulnerable.

I’ve recognise ‘unsafe’.

My beach is wide and soft and sandy. Def somewhere that’s good in the day time. I laugh at the gulls shouting and the often one legged pigeons still up for a fight.

I hope the sun in warm where you are.

Keep reading here.

Good to read your posts Detroit. Please know that we are thinking of you.

My Daughter was scared by a badger on a late night walk home recently, so I can't imagine how she'd have reacted to a deer. Never mind a bear.

The clarity of your situation is stark. Only a fool would think feelz trump biology. I hope you find a safe home.

Hello, sisters.. it's Detroit.

Hello sister. So relieved and glad to see you back.

I hope you are able to stick around.

You must be heard.

I called my one legged crow friend, Cassidy. There are chipmunk, black bear, blue Jays. I haven't seen cougar here, but they are around.

I watched a blue jay peck a hole in an inflatable boat.

I chose a pretty place with tourist facilities, showers in the laundromat if it comes to it. I'm a bit dischevelled, but not too bad. My hair is a mess of white roots. And I've developed a bit of a growl, I suppose.

I think I've accepted how bad this is going to be, and that's the price I have to pay. I lost someone precious a while ago, and something snapped in my head. I'll never go back.

Quite what will happen to me, I don't know. The pain in my injured body part is constant. But I've my freedom, divorce or not, and safety from Mr Charming

Ild love to have my divorce settlement and buy enough land for a female only commune for older women. Unlikely but...

Bears!!!

Fucking hell detroit

Its much easier to ignore posters...don’t ever feel like you have to explain yourself, you dont!

It's good to be amongst friends.😀

I've things that I was hoping for help with.

The injury which is not healing. I'm thrown off the medical insurance apparently. I need medical care.

I need an attorney who doesn't suggest I give up any financial settlement, nor do they need to suggest men get angry if you try to take 'their' money. I did my wife work. we have a legally binding contract. I want my share. Especially the pension.

This means asking for Ms Woke to be dismissed. I don't have the energy. Or to find a pro Bono attorney. I tried the bar association. Nothing but a slime ball who wanted $4000 retainer.

And I need shelter. Can't afford housing without a divorce settlement. That one will be tougher. I'm looking for work with housing attached.

I'm trying, but I'm tired, and hurting.

Cassidy sounds a handful lol, I’d I’d love to meet a chipmunk (soooo cute). I’ll google blue jay

Wow black bear and cougar!
Can I one up you - not so pretty but
Shark
Blue ringed octopus
Red backs

Let’s not agree to meet either lol

I watched a blue jay peck a hole in an inflatable boat.
Sounds similar to our jays - they hate us !

Ummm understand grey bits (mine is more than a bit 🤦‍♀️)

I think I've accepted how bad this is going to be, and that's the price I have to pay. I lost someone precious a while ago [
Sorry ! flowers]

From here to there

They are only black bears, they are nervous and shy as long as you aren't between it and it's Cubs. I keep a campfire going and don't go too far into the trails for wood. This camp is a bit more wild...and that's just the humans. Rather black bear than partying rednecks.

Cougar scare me more. Mosquito are bad. And I've a spider bite on my face.

North American badger are fearsome. Only seen one of those. I was grateful for a swift safe exit. English badger look cuter than heck.

Where would be a good place to start my own thread? I don't think I want to venture out of feminist issues...

Detroit. We are here and listening

Good to see you back Detroit.
Sorry to hear you’re facing the same rubbish from so many avenues but chin up and keep going.
Let’s face it, any women’s refuge that demands women accept twaw is simply a unisex hostel. No one should be made to seek refuge in a place that does not offer safety or peace of mind.
I’m not surprised to read that trans individuals are volunteering in women’s refuges but for me its like employing someone from Weightwatchers in a clinic for anorexic people. Pointless.

*Where would be a good place to start my own thread? I don't think I want to venture out of feminist issues.../

FWR is here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights

Start a new thread with your NM name Detroit in the header and we’ll find you.

If you’re struggling we can start a thread for you.

Oh! Sharks! I've never seen one, but have seen a whale. It sounds idyllic where you are. Beach tar on your feet like Joni in Carey.

I have to admit I panicked, drove around for hours trying to find camping. I got a cancellation. This is bearable. The Walmart parking lot is not.

Casinos are pretty good about letting you sleep in their patrolled lots. You just have to go spend $5 or so. I found the busy hub bub comforting. I hate gambling, I just go put pennies in the slots and drink the free soda.

Life got wierd, Sisters.

I honestly expected to be able to find a shelter with support. I expected the attorney to help me divorce and get a settlement and my fair share of pension. I did not expect for women's rights to have been so eroded and made a mockery of

It's like Norman from psycho has become a role model not a monster. Mother!

English badger look cuter than heck

One chased my friend when she was riding her bike

Wish I’d seen it...she was very scared and I’m glad she’s safe but i bet it looked funny

Im an awful person

Tearing apart womens services, destroying female only provision in an attempt for personal succour, kicks and pleasure is so male in it's centering of the individual.

God yes, it's what the misogynists, the MRAs, the Paul Elams of this world could only have dreamt of a decade ago. How quickly things can move and change.

I would never have believed it - a decade ago I was right here, on this Mumsnet board, arguing about rape conviction statistics, against the sex industry, and about the pay gap. Now look at us all.

Detroit I am so sorry for you are experiencing - you are at the absolute sharp end of transactivism and it's impact on women.

Please continue to update this thread - it is most appropriate. {thanks]

Two shelters had only a male voiced person available on their crisis line. My request to discuss my being abused by my husband with a woman was denied.

Being told by a rape crisis worker that I should practice mindfulness and grounding techniques if I was triggered in a women's shelter by a male bodied person, just about blew my mind.

Why can't there be one room of our own? One provision which respects the trauma to female bodied people by men.

It doesn't exist. They lose funding if they exclude trans volunteers and residents.

One wonders if a male has ever been told to practice mindfulness and grounding in order to cope with the triggering of a male facility.

You would think decent people, realising that their presence is causing crisis to women, would be organising and raising consciousness about this to ensure a mix of facilities is offered and everyone's needs is met. Because all women, and inclusiveness and compassionate right?

I should practice mindfulness and grounding techniques

Chatting with DH a few days ago he made a case that the recent trend for companies to promote 'mindfulness' was not always helpful or healthy. Basically that some would continue to be stressful, toxic environments but shift the onus onto the employees to deal with it. This sounds very similar.

Absolutely, Michelle.

But the dress does not maketh the man a woman.

Women are forced to move over, give, accept the smallest part, until that smallest part is nothing

My scorn is greatest for the female enablers of this . They know better.

Basically that some would continue to be stressful, toxic environments but shift the onus onto the employees to deal with it. This sounds very similar.

It's gaslighting.

Oh careful, m'dear...thats wrong think! Xx