Firstly I just want to say a massive thank you to all of you brilliant, intelligent, inspiring women who are fighting to protect the rights of women and children. I am so in awe of people like Julie Bindel who has been speaking up against this ideology for years, and all of the more recent voices who have spoken up in recent times. It doesn't surprise me that it is British feminists who are leading the way on this. British women are notoriously no nonsense and I love it.
I first found out about this ideology quite recently by accident when I stumbled across a group of people calling another group of people 'terfs.' It lead me to the gender critical subreddit on reddit where I started reading more about it and I had that feeling I am sure you are all familiar with - that dawning, terrible realisation about what is happening and your stomach lurches. There's no going back from that, once you see it you can't unsee it.
I'm so thankful to forums like this one where we can discuss these issues openly and honestly without being shouted at (although the shouters do keep turning up here too, I notice.)
I have PTSD from experiencing domestic abuse and women only places have been essential for me during my recovery from that. I don't hate all men or think they are all abusers and rapists, far from it. But I got completely fooled by my ex who I thought was a good man so now I am left with hyper vigilance and anxiety if I have to share an alone space with a man (which I have managed to avoid almost completely, apart from a male doctor and a manager).
When I found out that people had been lobbying for men who identified as women to be allowed into our toilets, changing rooms and refuges, I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. It makes me very angry when I hear women say they don't fear men so are happy to share intimate spaces with them. What about women like me, women who have experienced domestic abuse, rape and sexual assault, do our opinions matter too? It seems that society as a whole doesn't seem to think so. It's like collectively, society has forgotten why we had those places in the first place, forgotten about safeguarding, forgotten about female biology. And for that reason I am eternally thankful for women (and men) like you who do speak up.
I feel for any person who is so uncomfortable in their body so much that they want to completely disassociate themselves from their biological sex. But it would be so much healthier if these people were helped by society with counselling, and also if society allowed men to wear dresses without giving them abuse.
The alternative, where men who like to wear dresses are now declaring themselves to actually be women legally, so that they get access to all of our spaces, is nightmarish to me. In my mind it is the complete opposite of what should be happening - these gender non conforming men should be welcomed into men's spaces and taught that it's ok to be a gender non conforming man, because gender is a social construct anyway.
I wanted to ask, how do you stay positive and not despair? Because I often find myself feeling very worried about the future. I worry that my liberty will be reduced once again if they bring in self ID, because I'm going to feel scared of encountering men in toilets and changing rooms. I worry about jobs that were set aside for women to help more women access industries they had previously been shut out of, being given to men who identify as women. I worry about asking for a female nurse or doctor for a smear test, being told that the nurse is female and it being a biological male who identifies as a woman. I worry about children being sent down this path of hormones and surgery. I feel sad and alarmed at seeing the aggression and misogyny that many young women, caught up in all of this, spew towards older women. They think we are the enemy, they think feminism is the enemy, whilst also thinking that porn and prostitution are empowering, and that if you don't like dressing feminine then you 'really are a man.' And they guard and protect their ideology with a vitriol I don't remember seeing in my own youth about other issues.