Help me with a response please

[Morningonthebeach]

So a fb group I'm in related to music has just had this posted. I feel furious and quite sick that so many people are being so nasty on the comments and I can't decide whether to leave the group or reply. However I know I will immediately get shut down and called a TERF to sideline any ideas unless the argument is water tight and I know I only know the basic reasons enough to disagree with the word (I won't use it again but I felt I had to reference it in the OP to be clear) and agree with the sentiments that are clearly so annoying this person.

So please. Help me. If I
respond...craft the perfect comment?

By the way, my intention is only educate myself and respond in an intelligent way either here or next time I hear/see something vile.

If they think their arguments are so strong please invite them here. We haven't met a TRA who didn't flounce when presented with the absurdity of their beliefs. Never seen a GC argument rebuffed.

I just find it ridiculous. At the same time as suggesting they are inclusive they are dehumanising an entire group of people...the TENA bit in the post particularly. The argument is so flawed it has me stumped with what to say back.

You don't have to reply. Sleep on it.

You have common ground- sex isn't the same as gender, and nobody sane thinks trans people are sexual predators - what many are saying is that predators say they are trans in order to get easier access to women and girls. As this person knows, this is happening where self identification exists either legally (eg Canada, Ireland) or in advance of legal change through policy (UK prisons). Also some groups can be opportunistic offenders - few people are full time sexual predators but given the opportunity by reducing access to single sex spaces, some take the opportunity to cross boundaries because they can - e.g. what happens to girls in schools where single sex toilet provision is illegally withdrawn. There ARE male coprophiliacs and menstruation fetishists out there, and giving them approved access to female spaces is a crime against women.

Even if we lived in a world where nobody was a sexual offender, women still have a right to privacy and dignity in certain vulnerable situations and the law allows for single sex provision in these cases. This should include the right to say that male sexed bodies are not appropriate in those spaces.

Exclusionism isn't a real word. Nobody human is excluded from having a sex, because all humans without a single exception are either of the class that produces large gametes or the class that produces small gametes. Sometimes the process of sexual development is disordered but that doesn't alter the human reality.

It isn't an insult to be called or seen as a man or a woman, this is a fact of humanity. Changes in gender presentation are common and to be welcomed where they increase human liberty and happiness, but don't change the reality of sex. Feminists look forward to male football players being as open and happy about being in same sex relationships and gender nonconformity as say Megan Rapinoe is. None of these male football players should play in the women's teams, however.

I'd be quite intrigued as to what made that person post that. It might regret asking but it's an attention seeking comment with no background so it's designed to suck you in, to get you asking "you ok hun?".

Ultimately you'll probably get a pile on before being blocked from the group, but before you go you could ask some questions and see what response you get.

I tend to play dumb to get every phrase or claim spelled out to me, it has been known to peak others who are following the thread.

My favourite, just for kicks was:
"Men can get pregnant too"
"How?"

They commented something like 'it makes me feel like I'm doing my bit by joining these groups and asking them to defend their ideas and watching them get mad because they can't.'

Just answering the question of why it was posted. It is very attention seeking, I agree

I really wouldn't bother- doing their bit?? what like a war or something?

What they are doing is trolling. I would leave it - you'll only get hair on your hands. Write to your MP instead.

Life's too short OP - and they aren't interested in alternative views/biology/logic/evidence so you'd just end up drowning in unicorn woo. Much better to chat to friends and family and people with non-gendered brains.

Just imagine your life without having seen that post.

Then carry on like that.

I'd be tempted to say
"Calling a group of people, who are mostly women concerned about protecting women's rights, and safeguarding women and children from opportunists who will abuse any loopholes, FARTs and TENAs makes you sound about 10 years old, and reveals a lot of your misogyny. TERF is a known term of misogynistic abuse. It's probably best that you stay away from women."

And then leave.

But that's me.