Is there a place in radical feminism for women who are married to men?

[Namechangeforagamechange]

Just that really. I consider radfem views as most closely aligning with my own, but I am married with 2 children. After being subjected to the most hideous pile on in a radfem Facebook group about relationships with men, I'm left feeling a bit disillusioned.

I'm not libfem in any way, shape or form. So where do I go?

I'll admit I'm feeling a little sensitive atm, I chose to share traumatic experiences I haven't talked about for a long time and it's left me exhausted. I was accused of manipulating behaviour because I said dredging up those feelings had made me cry. I honestly cannot see how explaining that speaking about my own experiences has upset me is manipulating, but then a lot of what I said was taken out of context and twisted.

I will never feel comfortable in a 'Feminist' space where it's OK to tear down a woman when she is talking about past trauma. So where is MY place in feminism? Please, be kind.

Honestly, I would not refer to this persons ideas as radical feminism or see it as an example of it. This is nothing like the radical feminism I know or read about.

That's totally fine. I've said I don't even know if I'm a radical feminist. I do however see a lot of errr toleration on this board around men who blatantly state they're not feminist they're just here for the shit stirring opinion giving

Your reply to Jessica

Which reply?

Yes but what I'm saying is, you accused me of calling you dumb when I haven't, nor do I think you're dumb. But you, in fact, do think a lot of negative things about me.

Oh grow up. I didn’t say you called us anything.

You have repeatedly made negative comments on FWR about the people here, you spoke for me above! I think a lot of negative things about a disingenuous poster who has extreme unhelpful views and deliberately repeatedly twists what people say. Yes. I find you very very similar to a TRA that used to drop by, the way you pretend to be nice as you make sweeping statements about people on this board, and women in general, especially the married kind who you think are prostitutes. Women you’re well aware are against prostitution. Your posts look like an attempt to divide, derail, insult and provoke.

Oh grow up. I didn’t say you called us anything.

Yes you did. On this thread you said I thought you were dumb ( I don't btw) and I said that was a projection because you're the only one who has called me disgusting and unintelligent. The insults are going one way.

Men can’t be feminist. They can be allies.

We don’t control whether or not men can come here. Sometimes we ignore them even! Fancy that. Men’s opinions can even be... worthwhile! I know, shocking. And some women’s opinions on feminism can be BS. Your opinion shouldn’t be evaluated based on your sex. That’s what feminism is against.

sakura184

I think you missed me addressing that comment earlier. I’m not going over it again. That’s another thing you do. Harp on about unimportant points and then ignore what’s asked of you.

Sakura, did you vaccinate your children? It’s a simple yes or no question. Why haven’t you answered it?

Ignoring or dismissing all men's opinions or acheivements as lies and accepting all women's opinions or acheivements without questioning or fact checking won't do much to redress the balance of power between men and women, and is frankly dangerous and bonkers.

you're the only one who has called me disgusting and unintelligent.

YOUR COMMENTS. On other threads. I didn’t call YOU anything. I don’t know you. You are being judged on your comments here alone. Oh and I’m not the only one to criticise and refer to your comments this way! Please.

See ^^ bonkers.

Is this because of our little spat here earlier in the year when you had a different username?

I think the vaccination question is irrelevant. It's like whoopeedoo men managed to discover something.
Like if there hadn't been a mass gynocide of women, ongoing, complete with millions of female fetuses aborted around the world just for being female, like women couldn't have discovered it on our own?
And they can't do shit without a wife to cook their dinner. So it's not like any of them have actually managed to do things is it. And then I also wonder how many of the ideas actually came from the wives. It's a question worth asking

And they can't do shit without a wife to cook their dinner.

And you know this how?
Did you know Alan Turing was gay and didn't have a wife.
Isaac Newton never married.
Two off the top of my head.
I doubt Marie Curie cooked dinner for Pierre, both of them seemed to do good work.

I think the vaccination question is irrelevant.

It’s not based on your previous statements though. You said they lie and haven’t done anything worthwhile in medicine. If you actually believe any of what you’ve said just now, you wouldn’t use any medicine, including vaccinations.

Did you vaccinate? Do you use any medication? Please answer.

like women couldn't have discovered it on our own?

Course we could, and do, throughout history we have. What’s the point? This isn’t about whether or not women can do what men have, we can and do. The point you were making was it was all a lie and/or tested on animals for men’s sick pleasure. Why are you moving onto something else again? You literally never stick to one thing. It’s a rambling scrambling mess of thoughts.

Re. the asthma question, you do realize the whole point of killing all the healers during the Witchcraze was because physicians couldn't compete. So all the knowledge died with the women's bodies.
And there might also be links between asthma and environmental pollution which definitely could've and would've been avoided if we didn't live under patriarchy

The point you were making was it was all a lie and/or tested on animals for men’s sick pleasur
I know this one is controversial as some discoveries have been made by testing on animals. It's not too far out there to say they loved doing it though, judging by the porn they like to consume.
Also, plenty of experiments on animals have been utterly stupid and pointless, like the one Maniak linked to below.
And like she said, they get FUNDING for doing things that any woman can tell straight away is stupid

So all the knowledge died with the women's bodies.

It didn’t die though. Although I’m sure that was part of the aim. Particularly in indigenous cultures like mine, where the healing knowledge was shared amongst all and is still widely used amongst my people today- including by my very white Māori daughter.

And gay men or bachelors have traditionally had female housekeepers. It's not like men eschew female labor just because they're not into women. Perfect example of that is gay men hiring surrogates

Also, plenty of experiments on animals have been utterly stupid and pointless

Roughly 90%- as the results don’t replicate in humans by around that much.

What has that got to do with radical feminism and the OP? Women are cruel to animals too. My own sister enjoyed it. Seeing her beat a dog as our father tried to stop her is right up there with one of the most distressing things I’ve seen, and our dad hit our mother and me. Doing it to defenceless beings is next level cruel. I totally agree animal testing is horrific. Just disagree on the relevance here, or that only men condone or do it.

It didn’t die though. Although I’m sure that was part of the aim. Particularly in indigenous cultures like mine, where the healing knowledge was shared amongst all and is still widely used amongst my people today- including by my very white Māori daughter.*

I'm glad it has survived in some places. I'm specifically taking about the European witchcraze

And gay men or bachelors have traditionally had female housekeepers.

Oh I don’t think anyone on FWR isn’t aware that men not sexually attracted to us can also use or oppress us. What was specifically being addressed, since you raised it, was medicine and discoveries. We should stick to the topics rather than go off in different directions with each new comment.

I was in my youth, a wholistic practitioner. A lot of old medicine is absolutely still known of, practiced and used, in Europe. I got a really really old book from my favourite bookstore in the world, consisting of hidden rooms behind bookshelves and stacked floor to ceiling... the book was all about old medicine, traditions that passed between generations. These sorts of things aren’t mainstream though.

I'm back after the most wonderful, relaxing weekend in Scotland with family. I have read through the many pages that have been posted since I last caught up, but I'll admit that a LOT of it has gone over my head. What has stuck out more than anything though, are the contributions of 2 particular posters here. It's (coincidentally or not) sounding extremely familiar, both in content and style of writing, and really reminds me of the group I left for exactly the same reasons that a few of the posters here are becoming frustrated with. The 2 women on Facebook were very much in sync with each other when they targeted me, and as I've heard since, other women as well. Their extreme views and opinions were shoved down my throat, and I was led to believe that I wasn't a proper Feminist because I am married, have children, I have been a SAHP and worst of all because I couldn't accept that a) my son is an inevitable rapist and b) my husband definitely watches porn and drools over schoolgirls, and probably rapes me but I'm not intelligent enough to understand.

Once it got to talk of 'idealogical purity' (which, yes as a PP asked, does make me shudder) I genuinely lost interest. There are some great contributions here, but they really got lost in all the nonsense I was reading.

Here's what I've taken from it. Radical feminism, in its 'purest' form is absolutely not for me. And I'll take the wise advice of posters who have, quite rightly, said that feminism doesn't need a label. I'll continue doing my bit, reading threads that interest me and ones which I can learn something from. But there are extremists in every walk of life, and IMO extreme radical feminism is as dangerous as extreme misogyny.

I was in my youth, a wholistic practitioner. A lot of old medicine is absolutely still known of, practiced and used, in Europe. I got a really really old book from my favourite bookstore in the world, consisting of hidden rooms behind bookshelves and stacked floor to ceiling... the book was all about old medicine, traditions that passed between generations. These sorts of things aren’t mainstream though.

That is very interesting.

Wow! Well that's a vast oversimplification of the issues surrounding witch burning in the Early Modern era but there we go. It was certainly NOT just to enable the growth of Western medicine. The post-plague move to cities which was accelerated by the Industrial revolution was also a factor as was a genuine belief in actual witchcraft and evil (cf James I) and of course in one part of Europe the main targets for persecution were Jews and Muslims not women. The Spanish Inquisition didn't burn witches. Ferdinand and Isabella (Who was the power in that relationship) didn't believe in witches.
Turing was an excellent example by the way as he was a man who definitely suffered due to patriarchy- hence his suicide.
You have no idea what caused by asthma by the way. As it happens it isn't due to environmental factors but my premature birth. By a technique you'd probably disapprove of.
So, I will continue taking my ventolin when I need it. But will happily take St John's Wort when I have mild to moderate depression because moderation is good

@JessicaWakefieldSV our local re-enactment historical site (Tudor based) has a whole section on traditional remedies. It's an important part of medicinal history and of course many traditional remedies are just remedies. Eg aspirin is based on a traditional remedy and St John's Wort is proven effective (but contra indicated if on the pill).