Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Starting life again

8 replies

nicjenks7 · 30/07/2019 19:46

Hey guys. Never in my life done anything like this before but here i go! Literally woke up this morning and thought 'you know what im 27 this weekend i need to get my life together!' Dont get me wrong i have 2 gorgeous boys that i love and adore but i really feel like ive lost my way and i need to get back on track. Ive bought a notebook, got all my letters that i have ignored all in a pile that i need to sort through and im going spend 2 days just sorting things out and getting a plan in action. I was thinking of starting a sort of blog/instagram site up just to document my journey but its taking the leap of faith i suppose. If Mrs Hinch can do it why cant i?! Haha. Lost my way in a way 1. need to get back on track money wise, got into a bit of money trouble which i have started to sort but need to carry on with a budget plan, 2. Need to keep up with housework etc 3. Do more things with the kids and most of all 4. find myself again, who am i even? I want to be someone my children can be proud of, i feel like there is more to me than this. I need to find my passion. Any ideas/opinions etc would be fab. Where do i start?! I cant even think of a blog/instagram name.

OP posts:
Oldstyle · 30/07/2019 19:49

Good for you OP! Imagine you feel better already...
Flowers

nicjenks7 · 30/07/2019 19:56

A bit yeah ha i really havent got a clue where to start thats my problem

OP posts:
AnonymousIsAWoman · 31/07/2019 20:24

Hey nic - I thought I’d give your thread a wee bump and see if we can get some more thoughts! I’m sort of in a similar position - a lot of trauma I never dealt with at the time has reared it’s ugly head these past few months, plus I’m dealing with a very messy relationship disintegration that isn’t helping. I totally understand the wish to just start over. I just don’t know what to do. I honestly don’t know who I am anymore. Other than a very angry Irish feminist (not the fun kind).

BernardBlacksWineIceLolly · 31/07/2019 20:34

nic, you might do better if you asked MNHQ to move this, maybe to chat or relationships?

I really hope things work out for you 🍀

AnyOldPrion · 31/07/2019 20:41

So.... any ideas what your passion might be? Is there something you used to do that you want to rekindle? Or is there something you've seen that you want to try, or devote more time to?

Hope you can find the spark you're looking for!

nicjenks7 · 31/07/2019 21:40

AnonymousIsAWoman i hear you! I bought two notebooks (cz i couldnt choose in the shop) to start writing in to get things organised then spent 2 hours not being able to decide which one to write in, i thought oh god heres a good start!😂😂 but i started anyway so thats something i suppose. Financially i think ive got some sort of plan in action as hard as its going to be but i still dont know where to start with life in general.

What my passion is i dont know im so back and forth between a dozen things.

I need a fairy godmother ha i even looked in to life coaches!

OP posts:
nicjenks7 · 31/07/2019 21:41

I do think that talking about it is good, getting it all down but if your anything like me my head is like one big jumble sale

OP posts:
KTara · 31/07/2019 21:59

I remember when I was at the end of my marriage (little knowing that hellish years of trying to divorce would follow), a therapist asked me what my purpose in life was.

I said it was looking after my children.

She said that is not a purpose.

Obviously I also worked FT but I had a toddler and an older child and had just left an abusive and controlling relationship. The most important thing was being able to look after my children one of whom was subsequently diagnosed with SN. So I felt her comment was quite dismissive.

Five years - and a different therapist - later, I have some things in my life, aside from the children, which are important to me. I have goals related to those things so that I could answer my purpose is not only to stay alive long enough for my DC to grow up (as much as that is in my hands, of course) but also to do x and to do y.

I did a lot of meditation to de-clutter my head. One particularly good one by someone called Kelly McGonigal called Open Hearted Acceptance is about what you want to see in your life and what you have to let go of to be able to see it - or something.

In other words, what I am saying is that your focus might take a while to become clear and the work you have to do first is sort the jumble sale tables, so to speak. Writing everything down is a good way of doing this, I also found meditation useful (but it can be traumatic so stop if it brings up things you need to talk through with a professional).

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.