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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Requesting a female medic

23 replies

finnmcool · 24/07/2019 16:51

In these times of our sex based rights being eroded, I wanted to share this.

On Monday night I had to go to A&E regarding a problem with my undercarriage and I requested female medics to examine me.

I have a history of being subjected to physical, sexual and emotional abuse, it's on my medical notes along with the PTSD and associated mental health issues I have because of the abuse.

I gave the nurse who triaged me the gist of my history and she took the lead in organising who was going to look after me.

I was admitted that night, to be operated on the following morning. The ward I was admitted to, had an all female team.

The following morning, two women came to speak to me, they were my surgeons.

A bit later, another woman came to see me, she was my anesthetist.

Initially, I thought I'd got lucky, as I'd only requested women to examine me. I felt so reassured and happy to have this amazing team of fantastic women looking after me.

I was told today that a decision was made to only have women looking after me all the way, so I felt safe even when I was under anaesthetic.

I'm sharing this because I hope it shows that the medics totally got the need for our sex based rights.

It was Barnet General and I'm going to write to my M.P about the amazing sex based support I was given.

Let's keep on going to protect our rights! Grin

OP posts:
Allbetternow29 · 24/07/2019 16:59

I’m so glad that this was the case for you in what would have been an already stressful time. It’s great and shows that we are moving forward. I have worked in general practice for the last 10 years and i think it’s great that when a woman requests to see a female gp (for whatever reason) she is allowed to see a female gp and not encouraged to see a male gp. It shows that we are respected in these situations

ErrolTheDragon · 24/07/2019 17:06

So glad they got this right - and thanks for sharing. It's good to know it can be done!

And hope the treatment was successful and you're on the mend.Thanks

Original poster
finnmcool · 24/07/2019 17:14

Thank you Errol the treatment did the job, I'm very sore, but definitely on the mend!

Allbetter you've hit the nail on the head! At no point was I questioned or cajoled into accepting the unacceptable (for me) I felt heard and understood.

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 24/07/2019 17:14

I wasn't expecting such a positive post after reading your title; I'm happy to be proved wrong! Great news that you got that level of support from the hospital. I hope you're feeling much better 💐

LizzieSiddal · 24/07/2019 17:16

Flowers thank you for posting, it's very reassuring and I'm pleased you got the service you asked for.

Babdoc · 24/07/2019 17:17

I’d assumed this was standard, OP?
I’m a retired anaesthetist, and we were quite used to swapping theatre teams around to get an all female one where needed.
The only proviso is that sometimes the only surgeons in a particular hospital who can do the procedure you need happen to be male - there’s not much we can do about that.

JessicaWakefieldSV · 24/07/2019 17:25

Thank you for sharing. I have really bad health anxiety and get horrible nerves just going for a GP visit, for similar reasons to you as well as past bad care from health professionals. I do hope this is pretty much standard everywhere as it does make me nervous.

Original poster
finnmcool · 24/07/2019 17:36

babdoc I'm lucky enough to not have much experience of being operated on, or being in hospital.

What was said to me today, was a decision was made for only women to look after me.

I'm happy to hear that's standard practice, as it should be.
Unfortunately, too many women are now being told to accept the unacceptable.

Knitted I am feeling better thank you.

Lizzie I'm so pleased you feel reassured, that's exactly why I shared Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
finnmcool · 24/07/2019 17:41

Jessica I hope this has reassured you. I was honestly supported, listened to and look after beautifully. Every single woman involved in my care was amazing! From their knowledge and professionalism to their kindness and compassion

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 24/07/2019 17:47

Do write to the chief executive of the hospital too.
All NHS staff have to do revalidation every 3 years (I think it is). They are asked to provide evidence by way of cards or letters. So positive feedback is really appreciated.

Original poster
finnmcool · 24/07/2019 17:52

endoftheline that's really helpful, thank you.

I did ask how to get a list of everybody who was involved in my care from A&E, to the ward, to the surgeons and anesthetist so I could pass on my experience and gratitude.

I left a message with PALS and when I'm mobile, I will be buying thank you cards.

OP posts:
fascinated · 24/07/2019 18:02

I was so proud of the sisterhood when I got my op post baby birth ... just as I was going under I could hear the calm, confident voices of the all female theatre team lead doing the “cabin crew doors to manual” equivalent spiel they do ... I thought. Yeah. This is what the fight is all about : to be educated, get skills, be in control for ourselves.

I made no specific request for all female but they knew I was a survivor , don’t know if it was a factor or just coincidence.

fascinated · 24/07/2019 18:03

I provided positive feedback to Head of Midwifery.

Such a difference to Baby 1. I think disclosing past trauma really helped get better care.

picklemepopcorn · 24/07/2019 18:06

I'm so glad! Well done to that team which made it happen.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 24/07/2019 18:15

This is very reassuring. I'm glad you plan to send thank you cards. Senior management need to know how much difference it can make.

I'm perfectly comfortable with male doctors for intimate care on the whole, probably because my DF was a doctor and I know how respectful he was. I feel it's good that women like me are flexible so that women who need all female care are more likely to get it.

I don't feel so comfortable with my current new male GP but this is down to his very chilly demeanour rather than his sex. I keep meaning to swap but keep forgetting.

Original poster
finnmcool · 24/07/2019 18:20

fascinated I'm so pleased you had such a positive experience. You're right about the sisterhood, it really makes a difference!

prawn that is such a lovely, kind thing to do, thank you from someone who does need a female team!
I hope you get a lovely GP with a better demeanour.

OP posts:
Original poster
finnmcool · 24/07/2019 18:22

Thank you pickle they were amazing! It felt so powerful seeing all these women doing what they're trained to do.

OP posts:
Gingerkittykat · 24/07/2019 19:05

Amazing, I opened this thread expecting to see you had trouble having a female medic take care of you but good to know your needs were respected.

SophoclesTheFox · 24/07/2019 19:07

That’s great to read, finn.

Hope you have a swift recovery Flowers

RadicalStitch · 24/07/2019 19:14

Brilliant!

DixieFlatline · 24/07/2019 19:47

Wonderful to hear.

Windygate · 24/07/2019 19:59

@finnmcool I'm really pleased you had such a positive experience and I hope your recovery is going well. Spare a thought for my DSF who was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of years ago. The team that looked after him were all female, the drugs all had pink ribbons on the packages. Even in his end of life days the experts were all women.

youkiddingme · 24/07/2019 21:34

I can't tell you how good it was to read that. Thank you for sharing and wishing you a full and speedy recovery. Flowers

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