The logic of gender identity

[Tootsweets23]

Browsing FB and came across a shared post titled "Rules to Teach Your Daughter". It wasn't particularly offensive, rather was the usual "empowerment" guff that still had a fair bit of gender stereotyping baked in. Needless to say it got the hackles up from several commenters under the post.

What stood out was one commenter who said "good thing I identify as male now. The expectations put on young girls are absurd".

I just can't get my head around this person's position On the way they've phrased it. We all get how shit patriarchy and misogyny is, and I understand wanting to be able to opt out of being on the receiving end.

But I just can't get my head around thinking the way to do that is to join the oppressor class. Like that solves anything.

Perhaps it's a case of 'if you can't beat em, join em'.

I think younger women don't have the confidence to know how to reject the female gender stereotype which they feel they have imposed on them.

Maybe they were thinking that a lot of the expectations put on young girls are put on them by their mothers and other women. And don't see males as the oppressors in this case.

For example, in my personal life it is women who enforce sexism often in the most overt ways. So it is more obvious.

They don’t understand that males are the oppressors.

Number 35?

Fuck that.

Treat other people with the respect that they show you. Being kind to everyone is a recipe for being a doormat.

Ah yes, pulling up the imaginary ladder. I wonder how long it will be before they realise that what they perceive as having male privilege is just people being shit scared to call them she, and that the blokes take precisely no more notice or give them any more respect than they did before their magical transformation.

I now identify as a billionaire btw, so fuck you DWP and everybody struggling on benefits.

Good thing I identify as a master now.
The expectations put on slaves are absurd.
What we need are fairer expectations of slaves.
Of which I am no longer one.
Having always been a master inside, I finally identified out as my authentic self.
Which is a burden on me.
Cis slaves who are born into the slave class and naturally identify with their masters' expectations are so privileged though.
Their slave bodies match their slave minds.
Lucky.

It’s like the ultimate effort at man pleasing. The mens don’t respect me enough because I’m not girly enough so I’ll become one of them instead, that’ll make em respect me.

Unfortunately I don’t think some of these young women will even notice that they don’t, so ingrained is their internalised misogyny and so used to its background noise they have become.

It’s all very well trying to join the bullies gang but it does one’s self respect and self worth no good at all.

Being kind to everyone is a recipe for being a doormat

I disagree.

I am always kind but rarely nice.

Nice requires you to do and say things to make others happy.

Kind is about consideration for anothers feelings whilst being honest observing and maintaining your own boundaries.

E.g.

Nice = continuing a relationship when you don't want to because you dont want to upset the other person and so carry on anyway even though it makes you unhappy.

Kind = ending the relationship respectfully.

I agree that a lot of the pressure comes from other women/mums though.

I had a really miserable and emotionally abusive childhood. When I look back, much of it was centred around disapproval that I was 'girling' and, later, 'womaning' 'incorrectly' and an attempt to make me more socially acceptable and desirable to men.

I continued to reject it and am now, and usually, single because, sadly, they were right about my non conformity making me undesirable to men but wrong in stating that I should change.

"good thing I identify as male now. The expectations put on young girls are absurd"

I agree with this in the main.

Society is going backward wrt gender. I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s and was a girl who liked cars, climbing, science and sport. I mostly got approval and indulgent smiles when seen up a tree.

If i was a child now with the pressure on girls to wax, eyebrows, lashes, tan, nails, be sexy, instagram, “girly girl” etc. If the constant battle with wanting to do “boy” stuff and constant pressure to fit my stereotype i might well just say fuck this, i am going to identify as male and then the expectations on looks will stop, and i’ll be allowed to get on with my life in peace.

Not about joining the oppressor, more being allowed to follow my own likes and dislikes without judgement or people constantly commenting.

I see so many times on here phrases like “proper girl” and “proper boy”, and children being made to cut/grow/shave hair or not buy a pink/blue bag to avoid bullying.

My own child doesn’t like pink or particularly girl things. Every fucking time she tries to buy something, a watch, a sign for her door, a t-shirt, she will inevitably be asked if she knows they do a pink one, or that this is from the boys aisle, the girls is over there if she wants to swap. Even when she went for a haircut the hairdresser constantly questioned if she wanted her hair short, and not leaving longer more like a girl.

These poor girls don't realise that it makes not a jot of difference how they identify, they are still female and that's perfectly fine.
Just absurd that the illogical conclusion they have drummed into them now is that non conforming to stereotypes means they must be a bloody boy.

Sad twisted logic.

Stereotypes need to be scrapped they are dangerous BS.

Trying to counteract the onslaught is so hard. I don't conform to stereotypes and never have so hopefully this will help DD.

If the constant battle with wanting to do “boy” stuff and constant pressure to fit my stereotype i might well just say fuck this, i am going to identify as male and then the expectations on looks will stop, and i’ll be allowed to get on with my life in peace.

But why shouldn't you be able to do all this without 'identifying as male'? Why shouldn't you be able to say 'fuck this' and get on with doing the 'boy' things just like we did in the 70s?

Identifying as male reinforces the idea that there is only one way to be a girl, and if you're not 'girling' right then you're a boy. The progressive way is what we were doing in the 70s, and saying 'fuck that, girls can do that too'.

You're right that everything seems to have gone backwards, so it's like we're back in the 1950s (or 19th century), where there are specific things that boys/girls can and can't do. But the solution isn't to go with it, it's to fight back to get to a place where girls and boys can just be themselves without being shoved into gender boxes.

A genuinely believe we could solve a lot of distress if we gave girls access to radical feminism. Trans is the wrong solution to a real problem.

I wrote about how I think breast binding is a response to sexual objectification and grooming for Transgender Trend www.transgendertrend.com/breast-binding-sexual-objectification-grooming/

Trans is the wrong solution to a real problem.

So very much this!

Barracker that is the most perfect rephrasing. Thank you. I have screenshotted that for future use.

EM's comparison of breast binding to breast ironing is very apt.

In Germany, women can be fired for not wearing bras at work, this also being the country that has mega-brothels and red-light districts in supposedly-public streets that adult women are forbidden from entering.

YY about schoolgirls needing thicker shirts. Why should a girl or woman even have to wear a bra at all?

Where will the hatred of women and girls and the policing of our bodies end?

I posted this yesterday then disappeared! Gah, distracted by ill toddler and 6 month old.

Barracker, great analogy thanks. I was going to write a version about being black but it felt hackneyed. Master/slave much better!

On an individual level I understand why someone would want to say "fuck this shit" to the pressure put on young girls to conform (and women in general for that matter). But the idea that becoming male fixes anything is so bizarre. No only will men continue as is and not consider them to be part of their tribe, it also means pushing the very stereotypes of "proper girls" and "proper boys" that they are claiming to rail against.

"good thing I identify as male now. The expectations put on young girls are absurd".
That's sad. They correctly identify the problem (ridiculous expectations) but incorrectly think they can solve said problem with the magic words 'I identify as ...'. The true solution is to for society as a whole to get its act together and stop pushing shit expectations onto the young (girls and boys). In the interim, until we achieve this Utopia we could try rejecting the expectations.

I do wonder how they will react when they realise that whilst they might now identify as male, society will continue to identify them as their natal sex.

We need a campaign to keep transgenderist ideology and the Trans Lobby out of our schools, do we not?