Talk sense into me about this thing that really shouldn't be a big deal, please...

[hairymclairie]

I stopped removing my body hair a few months ago, mainly because I want to model to DD(4) that it's ok not to modify my normal woman's body in order to perform femininity in a socially acceptable way. So far, so woke.

Except tomorrow I'm taking her swimming for the first time since I embraced my natural hirsuite state. And I'm nervous, and pretty ashamed of being nervous.

I know that people may notice (because I myself have noticed ladies with hairy legs out in different situations) and I know that people may think it's gross or funny or whatever. So I'm not so much looking for "nobody will even know" responses. I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Maybe just encouragement and reminders that this is an ok / good / positive thing to do for ok / positive / good reasons...

Good for you OP.

I haven’t shaved my legs for years, and my bush is thick and lush. I let my armpit hair grow but then shaved it off because I didn’t like it. At first I thought I was letting the side down, but I’m not of course, because I’m only shaving them because I want to.Basically I shave the parts I want to shave for my own personal comfort.

Go to to swimming baths in all your furry glory. Shave the parts of your body you want to shave for your own personal comfort and grow the rest, and to hell with what anybody else thinks.

Lands End have a fantastic selection of swimwear for those who don't want skimpy costumes.

I got my current "no need to do anything about bikini line and no worries about anything slipping on the top half" costume from George at Asda for £16.

Yes I was recommending Landsend on here the other day. The costumes cover your bum cheeks, the straps stay put, and they do a long length.

I get my bikini line waxed but in-between I will still quite happily go swimming. I said to my daughter that no one should be looking at my groin anyway, and if they do and don't like what they see - tough.
Rarely shave my legs either!

I wear a rash vest and swim shorts type suit for swimming.

I have dark hair and paleish skin so my leg/underarm hair is very noticeable and I do remove it in the summer. Seeing other women with natural body hair I think 'good for her', and wish I could be not bothered. (I don't wear makeup or a bra, the latter admittedly mainly because I'm very flat chested).

Thank you very much, you lovely, wonderful, kind, sensible women.

I haven't shaved in about a year. I stopped because it was too uncomfortable while I was pregnant, then never started again for the same reasons as you. I wear shorts, dresses, swim suits, strap tops etc and no one has ever given me so much as a funny look. No one cares, really honestly truly. Most don't notice. Of those who notice, most don't care. Of those who care, most don't say anything. Good for you, stay strong and enjoy your swim!

I can't think that I've ever, in all my life, even glanced at another female person's crotch in all my 60 years of life.

Off topic but just a plea not to wear things that have been previously sweated into in the pool? And ideally proper swim fabrics. People leap into the pool here Unshowered and covered in makeup and fake tan... no wonder there is so much chlorine in the water needed... thanks lots.. I am sure the majority of you lovely folks are not guilty, of course, but just as a general thing I do wish pools were a bit tighter on policing these issues.

(and probably aftershave and deo etc on the men.. and indeed fake tan! Not targeting women in my comments!)

Good for you OP.
These days I only shave my legs or pits for special occasions and even when I do, I do a shot job as a can't see very well without my glasses on in the shower.
Nobody has ever said anything, or given a disapproving look, but then again I do a good 'don't fuck with me' face. I suggest you practice your nasty woman glare and all will be fine.

Agreed fascinated, where I used to live everyone had to shower properly (fully naked with soap) before entering the pool (and they were group showers with changing room attendants who policed it, so everyone did it). The pools were sooo nice, clean and hardly any chlorine used so perfect for children. It was so much nicer than UK swimming pools.

where I used to live everyone had to shower properly (fully naked with soap) before entering the pool (and they were group showers with changing room attendants who policed it, so everyone did it)

I would not use a facility which enforced communal naked showers.

I've pale skin and thick dark leg hair that grows from my ankles all the way up my legs to merge with my pubes. Pretty impressive when not shaved.

I have a son and wanted him to learn that women can be hairy too, so didn't shave when he was young. I'm really glad I persevered with this. His partners now love that he doesn't expect them to shave and wax.

I agree with Bygrab, most won't even notice, let alone care, let alone say anything. In my experience, you'll get more people that are inspired by your body confidence than 'offended' by it.

Having said that, remember to be kind to yourself too. It's great to recognise the potential you have for being the role model your daughter will learn body acceptance from, but it's ok to admit that it's just too stressful for you to follow through with not shaving. You've probably been given really strong messages all your life that, as a female, you shouldn't reveal your body hair in public. It's completely understandable that you're nervous about the prospect of doing this now.

I really hope that remembering why you're doing it will give you the strength you need, but if it doesn't there is no shame (seriously, shame can f*ck off) in backing down on this one at this point in your life.

Hope you both have a fun time whatever you choose to do

I stopped doing legs and pits about six years ago - primarily because I can't be arsed and for Feminist Reasons. Turns out it has (accidentally) boosted my eco points too. No more plastic, unnessary chemicals, carbon caused by manufacturing and wasted water.

Yet I still felt the need to warn a bloke I was about to DTD with. I said 'Just so you know, I don't shave my legs'. He said 'Grand. Me neither' and cast the duvet aside with gay abandon.

Also because the more disabled I become, the greater the chance of me knocking myself out by face planting the bath - I had the balance, grace and poise of a drunk duck on ice before I developed problems and I'm not a gambler by nature.

The Bush has never, ever been tinkered with. I have no idea if anyone has noticed, but I can honestly say I have never paid any attention to anyone else's either.

Go forth, parade your Real Womanliness in all it's glory!

I said to my daughter that no one should be looking at my groin anyway, and if they do and don't like what they see - tough.

I have a massive scar at the top of my thigh right next to my groin as the result of a surgical infection 18 years ago. It's faded to white now but for many years was purple and accompanied by a big dent in my leg and yes, when swimming people did notice it.

I have never seen an adult notice without looking mortified. I can almost see the wheels in their heads turning, 'wow, that's some scar, fuck she'll think I'm staring at her fanny, I'm so fecking embarrassed'.

Small children stare but that's small children for you.

As for shaving, I don't in winter but do in hotter weather if I find the hair sweaty or itchy. So not had much call this summer but last summer was largely leg and oxter hair free.

Friends, I did it and it was SUCH a non-issue.

All your encouragement and nonchalance helped a huge deal - I honestly didn't think about it beyond the walk from changing area to pool.

I get this is not a big thing for many of you, but it has been for me, and I'm so grateful. Thank you.

Fantastic!

if I notice (and I probably often don't) I think 'I wish I was as brave'

Here’s the thing. You don’t actually know what anyone else is thinking when they look at you. You can’t know. So any judgements are actually coming from your own head, you are imagining what they think, and putting your own doubts in there. And if you are deciding what they think, you can change that, and decide that they all think you look amazing, or that they all haven’t noticed, or they are envious of your beautiful hair. It’s all in your control. So change your own thoughts!

You totally rock! Well done.

Arnoldwhatshisknickers
Hope my comment didn't offend you.

I don't say this patronisingly, I really mean it when I say I'm proud of you. Such a great example for your DD, well done you!

Well done. Baby steps, remember.

Well done, OP!

I mostly don’t shave through CBA-ness, but the side benefit is modelling hair in places the female body has it naturally to my DC.

I’m socialised to remove it so I do if it’s an occasion I think warrants it - but that is pretty much never going swimming with the DC. Swim shorts or ‘boy-leg’ costume for the pubes, ignore or even forget the leg hair/underarm hair as usually too disorganised/time-poor to remember to remove it anyway.