Murder of Lucy McHugh. Safeguarding of vulnerable young women.

[placemats]

This is a shocking case. And I'm linking the Guardian deliberately here because of the picture of Lucy which, astonishingly was issued by the police.

Why was this seriously disturbed man allowed to be released?

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/jul/19/murderer-of-lucy-mchugh-13-jailed-for-minimum-of-33-years

It's impossible to read the reports and not judge the mother, father & 'step father' very harshly as well as anyone involved in monitoring the violent ex-convict who was allowed to move in to Lucy's home

Note the ages of Lucy's parents suggest that Lucy's mum was no older than 16 at time of her birth but her father must have been 22/23 at the time so neither mum nor dad capable of acknowledging that it is not normal for girls in their young teens to spent time alone with men in their 20s

I'm not defending the mum in this case, I was responding to a blanket comment that many women enable abuse as they are putting their needs first.

In a society where many people think that lying about rape/sexual abuse is common place, that teenage girls can be provocative and that children should respect their elders I think it's too simplistic to blame mothers for abuse of teenage daughters.

I notice there is not so much vitriol being directed at the mothers partner, who was the person who actually invited the murderer to stay in his house and told the mum the daughter was a trouble maker.

But of course men cant be held responsible if theres a woman available to take the flak

The mum's partner is clearly a scumbag but the reason the mum is the bigger villain IMO (not as bad as the murderer though obviously) is that as the parent it is your role to protect your kids from harm

I don’t think anyone here is going to claim the Lucy’s mother has not had difficulties

But the constant denying of the role some (many) women play in the abuse of their children is not helping

Having worked in DV I am well aware of the violence and do believe more men are violent but there are women who are just as selfish women who get caught up in these relationships their self esteem maybe low but that doesn’t stop you protecting your children and many women out the men in their lives first its something that many (even in the services) do not want to acknowledge

Deconstructing 'Little Red Riding Hood'

Why does LRRH's mum send her into the woods on such a dangerous errand? And who is the 'wolf' who sleeps in grandma's bed?

Can you work it out?

There are many different theories what the cautionary tale is about (and different versions)

Girl wearing red indicating her periods have stated

Men being predatory

Mother warning her of the expected sexual attention she will get

Even from those she trusts

Grandad is the wolf

Grandad abused mother. Grandma looked the other way

Mother buys off grandad by sending daughter in her place

in truth, both factors - parental neglect and cultural misogyny - play a role in situations like this. Part of the explanation for mothers who behave like this is their absorption and acceptance of myths about young girls being culpable in their own abuse - also beliefs that males must always be prioritised.