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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Intimate Care for children in school not safe

47 replies

Birdsfoottrefoil · 16/07/2019 22:31

Special needs jungle, a webpage with blogs/information resource for parents of children with additional needs, have published muddled advise on who provides intimate care (toiletting) for kids in school. Complete with some of the normal tropes about how outdated views of men as dangerous are as obviously lesbians might get aroused looking about girls...

www.specialneedsjungle.com/who-wipes-their-bum-about-policies-on-toileting-and-disabled-children/

OP posts:
Oncewasblueandyellowtwo · 17/07/2019 10:58

Bower Some schools have policies whereby only female members of staff are allowed to change the pads of children, or only members of staff who are the same gender as the child being changed*
So when the author talks about member sof staff she is speaking about the child's helper or assistant?

ChickenonaMug · 17/07/2019 11:17

How are some people so completely unaware or disbelieving of the fact that almost all peadophiles are men and 98% of all those convicted of sexual offences are men.

The author of the article has tweeted "It is very likely that paedophiles would be attracted to jobs in schools because of the opportunities it gives them to reach children, however paedophiles can be of any gender so gender specific policies are no help in protecting against them."

mobile.twitter.com/jo3grace/status/1151414652888391681

TurboTeddy · 17/07/2019 11:36

"It is very likely that paedophiles would be attracted to jobs in schools because of the opportunities it gives them to reach children, however paedophiles can be of any gender so gender specific policies are no help in protecting against them."

Not sure if this statement intentionally uses gender or it's due to ignorance but strictly speaking paedophiles can be any gender. It's sex specific policies not gender specific policies that are required.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 17/07/2019 11:59

I've Tweeted back at her, ChickenonaMug. What a stupid thing for her to say!

Slowlygettingthehangofthings · 17/07/2019 12:29

"Think of the men who work in our schools, and realise how insulting it is to suggest that they would be a danger to the children they work so hard to support."

The ignorance here is staggering!!!

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 17/07/2019 15:28

I've never worked in an industry where safeguarding was relevant but I've learned so much from R0wantrees and other actual experts in the field who post here. And even I can see the gaping great holes in this ridiculous article.

LangCleg · 17/07/2019 16:05

She was bloody right wasnt she.

Yes.

Oncewasblueandyellowtwo · 17/07/2019 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExpletiveDelighted · 17/07/2019 17:27

I'm really shocked at this. SNJ is a longstanding and extremely useful resource for parents of DCs with SNs, I would not have expected this from them at all.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 17/07/2019 20:01

That's very interesting, ExpletiveDelighted. I wonder what's happened to make them issue this terrible advice. It's like the NSPCC. They're getting nobbled, that's for sure, but why do they start ignoring everything they know about safeguarding?

FannyCann · 17/07/2019 20:59

At lunch at work today, chatting with colleagues, somehow the topic came up. We all knew of teachers at our own school who crossed the line, schools, especially boarding schools that brothers and fathers had been to - appalling abuse in some cases, schools our own children have been to...

It's rife. I doubt there's a school in the country that hasn't had a cover up or a dodgy teacher or some whiff of scandal.

It cuts both ways too - a friends younger brother (13) was noted to be disappearing for periods of time in the summer holidays. His parents investigated. Turned out the young matron from his school was rendezvousing with him.

James Rhodes the pianist was subjected to horrific abuse, he has written about it in a searing autobiography.

I hate being distrustful and suspicious, NAMALT and all that. But I thought the lesson that had been learned was to ensure child protection procedures were in place to prevent the opportunity arising, not to just blindly trust that of course our esteemed colleagues wouldn't dream of doing such things. Hmm

ChickenonaMug · 17/07/2019 23:14

Yes, FannyCann that is surely how safeguarding should be working.

The author suggests that we should "Think of the men who work in our schools, and realise how insulting it is to suggest that they would be a danger to the children they work so hard to support". What kind of culture is being produced in a school if to even think and suggest that staff who work hard could be a danger to children is seen as insulting. How on earth could a child disclose abuse by a staff member in this environment.

Children needing to disclose abuse will usually be very fearful about the consequences of disclosing, so if they pick up on the idea that the school views it's staff in the way that the author does - as good and trustworthy people - then the chance of the child feeling safe enough to disclose will be zero. I can't believe that anyone who has taught in schools would write "The people employed in schools are good people, the children are safe in their hands and we trust them"

The author does say that in order to ensure safety then if we develop doubts about a person then we should thoroughly investigate them. However she does not seem to realise that not only is she suggesting a culture where such doubts may seem insulting or go against the grain but also that many of those abusing children will have also developed ways to groom the adults into ignoring any doubts about the abuser that could arise. It may often be the ones who work the hardest or are seen as the most 'devoted' to all the children, who are abusing them.

The author also ignores how a child may be groomed to either want a particular person to care for them or fear the consequences of refusing a particular person.

This article demonstrates to me the the author has a really poor understanding of safeguarding and also that she prioritises other things such as inclusion and the feelings of staff above safeguarding.

FannyCann · 18/07/2019 00:10

I work in the NHS. I was utterly shocked by the case of the Addenbrookes' paediatric cancer specialist. My training hospital, it almost felt personal. The trust and respect such a person enjoys, the studying and working for such a senior role and yet this double life. Terrible breach of trust.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-england-cambridgeshire-34591633

ChickenonaMug · 18/07/2019 00:34

It never surprises me about how far some men (and it is almost always a man but sometimes a woman) will go to abuse children.

It never surprises me how many men, from all walks of life, attempt and succeed in abusing children.

It does however greatly disappoint me when I see how easily other adults fail to understand and prioritise safeguarding, especially nowadays when so much more is understood about the issue.

At the moment, I feel like I am watching the rewind on any progress that was made on understanding and prioritising safeguarding.

Oncewasblueandyellowtwo · 18/07/2019 00:44

Chicken
In the article the author says there should always be two people present when helping a child in the toilet but is this actually what happens?
Upthread Bower replied to a question I had about teachers doing toileting but she said teachers aren't trained to do this.
So I'd presume if it is done by SN assistants or SN teachers that they have already been trained in safeguarding?

ChickenonaMug · 18/07/2019 01:03

Oncewas in the article the author doesn't mention that two people should be present when providing intimate care to a child. If anything she implies that it is about the one carer.

Even if she means that two carers should attend then she is still encouraging a culture that states that is insulting to mistrust other staff and perhaps even discriminatory to mistrust male staff.

It would not be hard in a culture like that to imagine that corners would be cut due to other pressures and for children to be attended to by one staff member, whilst the other one deals with something else or allows themselves to be distracted from fully focusing on their safeguarding duties. After all Teacher A is a great guy, he works so hard for the kids and they all love him clearly he wouldn't do anything abusive to a child.

ChickenonaMug · 18/07/2019 17:08

It seems that the article has been pulled. I am really hoping that it has been taken down as it was recognised that it gave dangerous advice which fell outside of accepted safeguarding practice and knowledge.

Thank you to Special Needs Jungle for pulling it.

Thank you also to those of us who complained and tweeted about this including Safe Schools Alliance UK who tweeted this earlier today.

mobile.twitter.com/SafeSchools_UK/status/1151779636222840832

Birdsfoottrefoil · 18/07/2019 20:12

Thank you safe schools alliance for your Twitter take down of this article. It was so appalling.

On the other hand I blame Mumsnet for sending me back onto twitter after getting banned a couple of months ago.

OP posts:
ExpletiveDelighted · 18/07/2019 22:16

Thank you to Safe Schools Alliance, and thank you to SNJ for listening. I can't say enough in praise of SNJ generally, the directors work tirelessly to support other families, I read a lot of their articles and I hope this was a one-off lapse of judgement.

Oncewasblueandyellowtwo · 18/07/2019 22:55

Chicken Thanks, yes I think it was on twitter I saw the author say there should always be two people. I just didn't understand that as I don't imagine the funds are available to provide this? It was the focus on the feelings of the caregiver and that everyone is trustworthy that kind of upset me it seemed like it was about them not the child. And good if it has been pulled.
Thanks for explaining

Ereshkigal · 18/07/2019 23:24

And I'm reminded of Lisa M trying to tell us that it only takes one or two fools (or bad faith actors) in an org or institution to change its entire culture to disastrous effect.

YY.

Unformidable · 19/07/2019 10:04

SNJ is a fantastic resource for SEND families and I think this is a one-off blip. I'm glad they've pulled the article, but think they should've gone further and explained why they've done so on their FB page.

I've looked at the author's website and it concerns me how schools have paid for her events and conferences on sensory matters. www.thesensoryprojects.co.uk/upcoming-events

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