I'm not very good at being a woman

[WootMoggie]

Very moving new testimony from a detransitioner: "Now is my time to make peace with femaleness; with womanhood, even though I'm not very good at being a woman..."

What a perceptive and intelligent young woman. I hope she finds peace with her female body.

I’m heart-broken that we’re at the point that a young woman would say she’s not very good at being a woman.

For the young women and girls out there: nobody is good at being a woman, it’s not a skill it’s an accident of biology.

Being a woman means being whatever you want to be: butch lesbian; racing car driver; ballet dancer; mother of 6; or all of the above.

I hope there are more of you Alfie, who decide against a life of medicalisation and go on to be any kind of woman you want to be.

Don't mind saying am in floods of tears.

All the love to that wonderful young woman. I hope she steers her way to safe harbour.

What a moving message that is.

She is so bright, and is so self-aware. Talks about the subject with such quiet authority.

"Even my fiercely logical mind could not resist the ultimately contradictory logic underlying in most online trans spaces. I just tried to haphazardly wrangle logic into the contradictions"

You are going to be just fine, Alfie. I know it.

And please don't feel bad about being taken in, Alfie. The entire government in this country, all political parties, the medical profession, our national broadcaster, child protection charities have also been taken in. You were young, autistic and vulnerable - what the hell is their excuse?

We need voices like Alfie's to be heard by our witless politicians.

What a lovely young woman. You're ok just as you are Alfie. xx

She's right. Her and her peers have been guinea pigs in an awful experiment. I'm so glad she is on the other side and I wish her well.

Another with allergies that randomly started while watching.

What a fabulous young woman.

She has been so let down.

Wow. She may not feel like she's much good at being a woman (not obligatory anyhow) but she's certainly a wise one!

Woman is what you are not what you do. You can't actually fuck it up Really impressed at her self reflection and yes actual stunning bravery. Such courage and insight. I'd be absolutely proud as hell of a daughter like that.

I agree she and others were and are being very badly let down. It's criminal.

So much love to you, Alfie. So much love.

I am so angry that this lovely intelligent young woman was so let down by our shit society.
That she bought into all the sexist gender stereotypes, to the point of thinking she wasn’t actually a woman, just because she was autistic and gay. That you can only be female if you like pink frilly shit and simper over men. And that she was such an easy target for the trans cult to suck in.
Thank God she has seen all that crap for what it is.
I wish there was some way to put her in touch with some wise old GC feminists and lesbians to mentor her and help her to feel validated and comfortable in her own skin. It’s beyond sad that she is still breast binding - I hope she finds a loving gay partner who can free her from the need to do that. Bless her for making the video - I pray it helps other struggling youngsters.

Sobbing

Such a powerful testimony, what a brave young woman she is. I have never been "very good at being a stereotypical woman" either - loved maths and logic, hate high heels, love hoodies, but that makes no difference to the fact that I am female. Totally agreed with her on the 'identify as a woman' aspect - its so important to challenge this phrase as nonsensical.

Wow such an insightful piece. I agree with her predictions; so glad she hasn't medically messed with her perfect body.

I'm plastering all over twitter I'm shit at twitter

Autistic too; again not feeling "right" or that she fits in.

You are an amazing woman Alfie.

This horrid experiment and abuse of young people and children has to fucking stop.

Great video. Thanks for sharing. Very intelligent and articulate young woman. I'm glad she has figured out how to deal with her gender dysphoria and untangle herself from the trans ideology.

"I'm not very good at being a woman" is how I have felt my whole life and I struggled so much since childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Felt like a failure because so many aspects of my personality and views did not match those of the women around me. The tears of anguish because I couldn't live up to expectations, didn't want to or didn't know how to.
I'm 35 now and over time I have learned to make peace with such feelings and realise that these are all just stereotypes and I don't have to conform to them. I've also learned I'm autistic.
Sometimes those horrible feelings rear their ugly head again when I'm around other women, so I try to avoid such situations or find ways to push the sharp pains of inadequacy and discomfort from not fitting in out of my mind.

I have no doubt I would have fallen into the trans ideology if I was a teenager these days. It breaks my heart to see these things happening to autistic children. I can only hope these sort of detransition stories will give some pause for thought before embarking on a dangerous path of medicines and surgery.

So moving, so heartbreaking.
This is why we fight.

I want a world where stereotypes are yours to accept or reject. Where people respect sex but can have fun with gender if they so choose. Where we allow children to grow up in the knowledge that no one's body is "wrong".

She is so lovely. Thank God they didn't destroy her life.

I hope Alfie finds her way to this thread. That was a truly brave film, given the potential backlash other detransitioners have highlighted when they've talked about their own experience (proper brave, unlike usually when that word is being bandied right now, inappropriately).

I imagine that may have been very hard to make - your statement 'you are never too far in to turn around, and take another path' is resonant for many people, at many stages of life, in all sorts of situations. I'm sure there's many women on here, at all ages, who that will resonate with.

You're breaking out of the sunken costs fallacy, many people are never able to do so.

(PS: Alfie, if you do make it hear, google 'lesbians on chairs', if you haven't already, for some awesome women you may want to hear, if you haven't already)

And Alfie is a cool name for either sex

*here FFS!

That is such a powerful and moving account.

I remember very well my 16 year old self that was never wrong and thought adults didn't understand, I don't recall having reached Alfie's level of maturity by the time I was 21.

She is a remarkable young woman and I wish her all the very best.

Agree with PP Alfie is a great name for either sex.

What a moving story from this young lady. Only regret is she's still binding, why o why?

It's possible she finds some sensory relief from the tightness but also she says she still feels dysphoria and so it's her way of dealing with it for now.

I was reflecting on this earlier and I certainly have had times in my life where I've preferred to wear quite flattening sports bras, mainly for sport to be fair but not always - I deliberately chose boob squashing ones and I'm thinking about the reasons why. It was easier but also I did want to hide them from the male gaze ( a martial art which a pal used to say was extremely sexist but I didn't really understand fully. I think I did subconsciously though.)

Certainly around the late teens I had days where preferred the flattening bras. I do remember being highly embarrassed at times.

This is a common therapeutic band that's prescribed by physios/ OTs to autistic children. Strictly set times etc.

Some people, irrespective of asd or not, do find deep pressure like this anxiety calming (think about a firm massage etc) so I wouldn't be surprised if binding offered a similar relief.

https://www.sport-thieme.co.uk/Therapy-psychomotricity/SensoryIntegration/Bodyy_awareness/art=1951615

Oh bravo. She looks so relieved and happy. YES, find your own way to be. I really hope for her that the feelings of discomfort with her body lessen over time as she gets used to being a woman not having to constrain how she acts or dresses or what name she uses. She's utterly brilliant at being a woman in my book.

Alfie - I don't want to post on your u tube as it feels invasive but if you do find this MN thread (and I hope you do), you are wonderful!

You were never bad at being a woman - society is messed up right now - it was never you. You're clearly bright, articulate, perceptive, caring and beautiful.

Like you said, a 'woman' 'just is' - there is no one way to be a woman. Good luck with everything you do from here on after.