Pregnancy, Parturition, and the Patriarchy: how do we best serve women?

[GeorgeFayne]

(Parturition is the medical term for childbirth. Yeah, I wanted it to be catchy. Maybe it wasn't. LOL.)

Pregnancy and childbirth is a charged and emotional issue for so many of us. And looking at it through the lens of feminism should give, perhaps, a unique perspective from the mainstream narrative.

We've had an interesting discussion going on another thread, and it brings so many questions to light that I would love to hear discussed by the brilliant mind trust of FWR.

Topics like: should women have the right to insist on female-only attendants at birth? What about the greater field of OB/GYN--should men even be in the profession? What can we do for women who have been victims of sexual assault when it comes to birthing? What are the boundaries related to a woman's consent and bodily autonomy when there may be a question about the well-being of the baby?

More personal: was birth an uplifting and empowering event for you? Or did it leave you traumatized or ashamed and lacking confidence in yourself as a mother? And how do you think the role of your midwives or physicians or nurses (or the system) contributed to those feelings? What are some hidden misogynistic practices that we rarely discuss?

Most importantly: what can we, as feminists, do to improve our modern gyn and birth practices?

Babdoc

I understand that very urgent emergencies can make proper consent difficult (in the same way that non-pregnancy related medical emergencies can) but unfortunately I feel this then spills out into general care in labour. Women routinely aren’t asked for proper consent in all kinds of circumstances, even those that aren’t full-on emergency situations.

As for most birthing not being intelligent or well-informed to make decisions- I think we need to look at why. I felt that during pregnancy I wasn’t given any real meaningful information or discussions about my rights in labour and situations that could happen. Trial of forceps wasn’t discussed despite it being a fairly common scenario and often one with an alternative option (c-section). I can never be sure why the medical team decided on high rotational forceps for me- they may have decided it was definitely best and safest for me and my baby, however they may have had an overall policy on reducing the c-section rate in general at the hospital. All I know is I have long-lasting problems as a result of them being used and would have been happier with the risks of a c-section instead.

And I totally agree about the need for women to feel free to talk about their experiences, positive or negative. (That's kind of why I started this thread - - open dialogue). I'm just tired of woman shaming in ALL of its forms

I had my first child, aged 19, while living in a squatting community in London. It was a home birth - as I was instantly repulsed by the idea of being in hospital. I'd 'grown-up' with a sort of 'earth goddess' kind of approach to my femaleness. Kept menstruation diary; felt creative during menstruation etc; enjoyed the power of my sexuality. Very much at home in my female body. It was a long and steady labour- about 24 hours. A thunderstorm initiated the contractions.

I had the same mid-wife with me throughout; plus the child's father and a female friend.

I then had two more children, the first one of those at home. I was 26 at this point. It was shorter and more compacted in intensity than the first, but at no point did I feel the need or want for any intervention. It was lovely to be in my own bed, in my own home and feel like this was the most natural and normal experience on earth.

The next was meant to be a home birth, but a change in consulting doctor resulted in a transfer to hospital ( she came in with excessive caution And changed the whole tone) in the middle of the night in an ambulance. I had to really focus and stay calm so that the baby would not panic, and so I could stay centred myself.

As soon as the consultant, on his round, came in to see me he said to the midwives ( not to me) " If she doesn't deliver in a half an hour, put her on a drip". " No, you bloody well won't'", I thought - and then pushed against the contractions to 'get the baby out' before the consultant could come back.

I hated the whole experience ( so different to the other two, and discharged my self that night - leaving the hospital in my husband's massive trainers and walking jacket. I think my son picked up some kind of skin infection - and he had little pustules all over his skin - which took ages to get rid of.

I have also been my own daughter's birthing partner - for the birth of my granddaughter. The pregnancy went well, and it was to be a home birth - but a change of personnel ( new mid-wife on a change of shift) changed the whole vibe and dynamic. She introduced the idea of gas & air - which my daughter ( being an addictive type of personality) grabbed on to.

From then on, it all escalated....with her becoming totally focused on the gas and air and almost disembodied from her own experience; even the mid-wife looked a little concerned that she was taking so much gas and air. She ( the new mid-wife) then kept on coming up with time limits. " If you haven't progressed by this or that time......" making my daughter anxious.

It ended up with her being transferred in the middle of the night to the hospital. The gas and air had a very immediate and negative impact on my daughter ( my own estimation of the experience) and she could no longer tolerate or cope at all. She is a very intense person, with a very low tolerance level.....she screamed abuse at the nursing staff, and bit me really hard on my arm. She was screaming for an epidural by this time, but couldn't have one because she was about to go into third stage labour....she was screaming she was going to die....and threatening staff.

The commotion was so intense that other staff popped their heads in to see what was going on.

I, meanwhile, knew I had to stay absolutely focused and calm. I went into a 'zone of calmness' through sheer determination. I knew I had to, not only for my daughter's sake ( but she was beyond calm now), but for my granddaughter's sake. I had to greet her with calmness and steadying 'presence'.

It ended after 14 hours ( not so long for a first child) with a large tear, lots of blood, and a healthy baby.

Of course, it was important that the baby was healthy. That does not need to be said. But it did make me realise that we all give birth ( as we live) in our own manner, our own way and with our own style. The birthing is very much a mirror ( in most normal circumstances) of the person.

But I'm still an advocate for home birth if that is what the woman instinctively wants and feels comfortable with. For me, home birthing was a profoundly empowering experience, despite what the naysayers and cynics might say; and one which gave me real confidence in my female body and sexuality.

For me 'my feminism' is rooted in the body; in the facts of the female experience, and always has been.

But in all fairness, unless you have a medical degree and an MRCOG qualification, your attending obstetrician is much better placed than you are to call the shots if labour is not going to plan!

Not true in my case and I had a uterine rupture, if we'd not been insistent, stroppy and demanding my son & I would be dead.

Women need to be listened to

Yes I don’t think it can be ignored that women are experts in their own bodies and not often know if something is amiss.

Also the fact that everyone has different preferences and would make different choices. For example a woman has a breech baby and has the choice between a vaginal birth with a midwife who specialises in breech delivery or a planned c-section. Two different women would look at the pros/cons and make a different choice. Because they are unique individuals.