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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Please help 'D'F reading horrible books

34 replies

smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 13/07/2019 21:14

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me posting this but I need some other views and clarity this evening.
My father gave me an old kindle that he was throwing out and I've just sat down with it this evening.
For context we have never been close and he had been separated from my (wonderful) mum for 20 years. He was awful to her, love bombing initially then abusive, initially not physically but when it escalated she told him to walk. We have a LC relationship that I would stop if I had the strength.
Rather than delete the books that were on there I thought I'd have a look through as some of them looked like things I'd like to read before I get rid. I stumbled across a book called "how to destroy a (wo)man now" I had to have a look, it's as awful as it looks, there's also another called "the myth of male power" which looks to be an update of a book written in 1993.
Is there a possibility this is not what it looks like? Am I reading too much into it?
I'm expecting his first grandchild, a little boy, (although he doesn't know it's a boy) I just have a gut feeling that I don't want this man having anything to do with how my boy turns out. Does anyone have any advice? Sorry for the long ramble, I feel lost, I knew he wasn't a great person but this is a new level.

OP posts:
usersouthcoast · 16/07/2019 18:07

I watch a ton of programmes about people in prison. Doesn't mean I want to go to prison

usersouthcoast · 16/07/2019 18:09

If you don't want your child to have contact with your Dad, then that's up to you, and I understand why given the history.
However, the last straw being over books is too much, sorry!

placemats · 16/07/2019 18:22

I watch a ton of programmes about people in prison. Doesn't mean I want to go to prison

Creepy much?

Plus this statement is logic fail.

usersouthcoast · 16/07/2019 18:24

'Logic fail'? Pardon!?

I enjoy documentaries of all descriptions, whereas the soaps etc, isn't my thing

Biscuit
smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 16/07/2019 18:31

@usersouthcoast that's your opinion and I respect that but yes, the last straw is books and the beliefs they represent, he did not deny that he subscribes to the beliefs in these books. He tried to rationalise them to me and convince me that men's rights continue to be eroded and that feminists are toxic.

OP posts:
smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 16/07/2019 18:32

@placemats yes, we decided before we even conceived that he would not be left alone with our child. He was dangerous when we were kids so I have no doubt he'd be the same again.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 16/07/2019 18:34

He tried to rationalise them to me and convince me that men's rights continue to be eroded and that feminists are toxic.

Ironically he's the reason we need feminists.

usersouthcoast · 16/07/2019 18:34

Thank you for respecting my opinion, I respect yours also, and as above, completely understand why you have reservations about your Dad.

It's up to us as parents to guide and protect our children, and that's what you're doing. Not being left alone with a child is very understandable, but totally different to having no involvement as your OP suggests

Forgotthebins · 17/07/2019 08:01

I was NC with my father who died before my DC were born, but no way would I have have allowed any but the most minimal contact with them. A protective instinct clicks in when you have children of your own, trust your instincts. As PPs have said, it's not the books that are making you question him, it's everything that's happened until now.

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