How to explain to kids about womens rights/trans rights

[LittleMissCwtch]

I'm a long time member but recently found the feminism boards which I love, and have helped me realize I can want and support women's rights without it meaning I'm transphobic.

Anyway, I really feel I need to explain to the kids (final years of primary and early secondary school ages, boys and girls) about trans rights and how transphobia is a real thing, (which we have covered briefly) but also about a third space being a way forward rather than the cost of women's rights and spaces. And how women's rights are under threat.

I want them to understand you can't change biological sex, and you can call people by their chosen name, and refer to them as their chosen gender, and be respectful, but also that women are entitled to their safe spaces and while trans people deserve a safe space this shouldn't come at a cost to women.

They do know a trans woman, and refer to her as she etc and chosen name, and I want to be careful what I say, but this person is also a trans activist and believes she is entitled to access women's spaces and anyone who speaks up for women is transphobic. She also uses the terms TERF and CIS (which I hate) I don't really have anything much to do with her but she is part of our lives in a way (deliberately being vague here)

I don't want to say the wrong thing, and I want to make it clear not all trans women are the same, or stereotype them, and to say some trans women are happy with a third space etc.

If there are any books/websites etc or anything you would recommend saying I would appreciate it.

It's a sideways step I know, but if you have a look around the relationships board there are plenty of threads over the years about mothers wanting advice to help children think critically about and see past distorted or incorrect information they are being told by an abusive ex/ difficult family members without flat out saying 'that person's wrong and I'm right', or damaging the relationship between the child and that person. Some really useful advice there.

The Transgender Trend resource pack for schools is also good with messages around ensuring the needs of trans children are met while still also ensuring the different and specific needs of girls are also met and third ways through are found. The language and suggestions in that may be helpful.

I think describing competing rights is easiest if you start with women from religions that can't change with men. Always add, "of course every woman has the right to privacy," but I think young people might find it easier to fit this into the template of tolerance and comparative religion they are taught at school. It is easier to defend someone else's rights than to stand up for your own. They know, by late primary, why x wears a turban or y is off school for Eid, they know about religious rights, so it slots right in.

For a good explanation of why women need particular rights and protections, and how much has changed over the last 50 years, I think you can't do better than 'Call the Midwife'.

I appreciate it might be difficult to persuade them to watch all of it though!

@merrymouse

Oh my you are spot on with "call the midwife" - I was watching it by myself when my 15 year old son came into the room and started to watch with me - was an episode about the after effects of a back street abortion - led us to a very frank discussion about reproduction and contraception and women's rights - the program got through to him in a way I could never have anticipated - he is now an outspoken teen on protecting the legal right /access to medical terminations (we live in the states right now so all the more relevant)

This is tangential I know to the OPs question on trans issues - I just found the program very helpful for context and education

Thank you for the replies, gives me a good starting point 😊 I'll see if I can get any of them interested in call the midwife but I don't like my chances, but it's a good excuse for me to watch it again to get some ideas 😁

I think it's vital that we stick to facts when teaching our children. You cannot "change" sex, and it's wrong to lie to children about that. Trans people wish to be the opposite sex, and that's just the way they are. That's why they're called trans people. So if you see a man in the supermarket dressed as a woman, he's probably a trans person. It's a funny old world out there.