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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Women with fake little girl voices

112 replies

HennyPennyHorror · 17/06/2019 03:30

Is it me or are they becoming more prevalent? I moved to Australia 4 years ago and they are RIFE here. I was constantly confused by the high-pitched voices and thought "Is this part of the accent?" But I've realised it isn't. It's a forced, high-pitched squeak which some women do.

I know some women naturally have high, young sounding voices but I can tell the fake ones a mile away.

I HATE THEM so MUCH! Speak properly for God's sake!

OP posts:
VanillaSugarr · 17/06/2019 10:20

I used to live next door to a recently retired headmaster (ie 61) and his wife used to put on the Queenie accent from Blackadder. She even used the same language, ie “if I don’t get my own way then I thall thulk and thulk” with no sense of irony nor humour. We moved away and did not send DS to his former school.

Whatisthisfuckery · 17/06/2019 10:45

My sister does this when talking to strangers. It’s like a telephone voice, but extra babyish and pleading. It makes my skin crawl. She also tells me off for using my normal, quite deep voice, because it sounds rude, or something. Her normal speaking voice is almost as deep as mine.

butteryellow · 17/06/2019 10:56

I can't say I've come across it outside of comedy skits, except when talking to children - lots of people (men and women) put on a high pitched, extra-happy tone when talking to toddlers/young kids.

Vocal fry I hadn't heard of or noticed until recently, when someone brought it up, and then suddenly I couldn't stop hearing it in the young women's voices on the teen pitched US shows.

ConfusedMoi · 17/06/2019 11:05

I've noticed this on French radio when we've been on holiday. Female voices on radio ads often sound like children with a forced happy, sing-song style. I'm not sure I'm explaining it very well. It sounds very fake. Same thing with some female French singers. Child-like, little girl voices.

twicemummy1 · 17/06/2019 11:06

It's taken to ridiculous extremes in Japan. Shopkeepers in particular are expected to have a very high nasally squeaky voice, usually young women, and it seems to a a condition of employment ( as well as being hyper feminine) . They tend to give up the goat at around age 30, I never heard a woman over 30 with that voice.

HorsewithnoHoldsBarred · 17/06/2019 11:08

Some people are really unobservant!

I have noticed it. Our friend did it. She was a nice person but the voice was really strange.

Her husband went to prison for looking at images of children online.

We wondered if there was any connection..

MarshaBradyo · 17/06/2019 11:10

I notice this on Aus radio it drives me nuts

Also a few on R6 music

Original poster
HennyPennyHorror · 17/06/2019 11:27

Lass I've posted in FEMINISM! Not bloody AIBU!

OP posts:
BlueCornishPixie · 17/06/2019 11:29

I was thinking about this the other day.

I realised a while ago that subconsciously that my voice will go higher when I'm talking to some men, or people I am nervous off. Not full on baby voice just a bit higher.

I am in my early 20s and quite young looking, and I think often men will play out the "young, a bit stupid, needs my help" narrative with me before I've spoken, and that's the only way they want to interact with me. And I think I have responded to this by playing along, since I have been actively stopping this I definitely think men pay me less attention in general. Not in like a flirty way just they listen to me less, certain men definitely start ignoring me as soon as I don't play along with them helping me out. Or it's like the genuinely don't know how to interact with me.

I'd been feeling really patronized by older men. I work with a lot of much older, quite arrogant men. And previously they used to pay me a lot of attention, and talk to me but it was never interesting conversation, and would ignore my opinion etc. They will talk to the younger men about things but only talk to the younger women in like a silly girl way if that makes sense? It's not all men, but it's definitely a certain type of man.

I have been trying really hard to not do this and tbf I feel so much better in myself.

LassOfFyvie · 17/06/2019 11:40

LassI've posted in FEMINISM! Not bloody AIBU!

Your point being what? Actually your OP would not have been out of place in AIBU as it contained nothing remotely resembling an analysis. The justification was an afterthought.

anyoldvic · 17/06/2019 11:56

I used to work for a woman who did this - she put on a little girly voice just for her husband, who was much older than her. The dynamic was weird and unsettling.

Needmoresleep · 17/06/2019 12:29

I find this forum useful to develop my thinking. This thread as well.

The irritation caused by the woman with the little girly voice stuck with me for a decade, so when I met someone else with the same vocal mannerism I was immediately reminded of the first woman.

Thinking on it, it was the girliness, and a level of "poor little me" pathos that irritated me, rather than the high pitched voice on its own. I felt as if I was being played in some way.

Perhaps others are right that the need to adopt a childlike persona suggests something else going on. In retrospect, there were a couple of other things that put together may have suggested an odd family dynamic.

Interesting. I understand the poster wondering about her irritation without working out why. I feel a bit clearer now about similar feelings.

terfsandwich · 17/06/2019 12:47

Yes I've noticed this. Older women, Eastern suburbs (Melb), housewives. Very common. Put upon soft voice with a drawl.

I've always attributed it to housewife culture, ie, to have power and influence over the home feminity is accentuated and exaggerated. They're often very unhappy people.

Juells · 17/06/2019 12:48

I have a naturally high voice but I've noticed it goes higher when I'm asking for things or speaking to people in a position of authority.

Ha ha, I've noticed how high my voice goes when speaking to my dogs, or trying to get them to do something. Same thing used to happen when my children were little. I think it's an actual 'thing' now that I think about it, that babies and children respond better to high-pitched voices.

Wanders off to google....

Krisskrosskiss · 17/06/2019 12:52

People always say this to me. People can actually be very nasty about it. I got bullied at school for it. I had one friend (who is no longer a friend funnily enough) who insisted that I was doing a fake voice and kept telling me to stop being stupid and talk in my normal voice.... she knew me for years... that WAS my real voice. I just have a really high voice and I talk very quietly. I have to really try not to speak like that... and although I do put effort into speaking more loudly so people can here I dont see why I should have to put effort into speaking deeply.... why cant people put effort into not assuming that having a high girlish voice means you are stupid or incapable??

TurboTeddy · 17/06/2019 12:59

I don't hear it very often but it's certainly jarring if you know it's not the person's normal speaking voice. I don't think it's unreasonable to question what kind of conditioning might lead someone to adopt a higher pitched voice in certain situations but I think

I HATE THEM so MUCH! Speak properly for God's sake

might be the cause of some posters irritation. Its unecessarily harsh and looks like women trying to put other women down.

HorsewithnoHoldsBarred · 17/06/2019 13:02

(Whispers)

Perhaps those who say they have never noticed this admittedly (and thankfully) rare phenomenon are the ones doing it?

Krisskrosskiss · 17/06/2019 13:04

I mean it seems a bit shit to blame women themselves for the way feminine voices are perceived by society... I mean even if a woman is actively making her voice higher and more childish in order to manipulate or lessen expectations of her or illicit care for herself... isnt it kind of awful that she would have to do that? And then that it would also work because of the way people view traditional femininity?

As someone with a naturally very high voice i do not get taken seriously very often, particularly in a career setting. Theres even been times where I've said something and it's been completely dismissed then someone else has said the exact same thing and it's been praised... seconds after, so blatant that it would be comedic if anyone but me had actually noticed.
So really the options left to you are to sit and work on making your voice sound more masculine... or perhaps consider using your natural voice to your advantage to manipulate people.
Neither option would be needed if everyone just had a bit of a word with themselves about the negative associations they have with any traditional trappings of femininity.

HorsewithnoHoldsBarred · 17/06/2019 13:15

..So really the options left to you are to sit and work on making your voice sound more masculine..

I seem to remember hearing that Mrs Thatcher did just that when she became Prime Minister?

Why don't some people want us to discuss this?

LassOfFyvie · 17/06/2019 13:30

why cant people put effort into not assuming that having a high girlish voice means you are stupid or incapable??

Because that would involve questioning themselves rather than judging you and finding you wanting.

Perhaps those who say they have never noticed this admittedly (and thankfully) rare phenomenon are the onesdoingit?

I'm actually at a loss for words to respond to this ^. It's quite awesome in its arrogance.

Helmetbymidnight · 17/06/2019 13:34

It's taken to ridiculous extremes in Japan

yy, i was going to say this- its incredible there. in the shops, offices, greeting people, a very high child-like voice-but when chatting etc back to normal.

TitusP · 17/06/2019 13:36

We have a couple of women at work who do this. Only ever to men. One of the women, I hadn't realised it wasn't her actual voice until I heard her speaking to a more junior female member of staff in an adult voice.

Whilst I understand some of the criticism of this thread, I do think it's a feminist issue worth discussing. It falls firmly into infantilising women and the idea that helpless and young = sexy. Yuk.

HorsewithnoHoldsBarred · 17/06/2019 13:36

I'm actually at a loss for words to respond to this . It's quite awesome in its arrogance.

No it isn't.

EweSurname · 17/06/2019 13:44

BlueCornishPixie yes to everything you've written. I think it's a way I can ask for people to do things that doesn't seem threatening, which is ridiculous as I'm not asking anyone to do anything outrageous.

It's another tactic that my inner Beryl uses but as I say, I've been trying to overcome it. I'll still have a high voice though!