Where is the hang wringing over Father’s Day?

[NightmareDaemon]

Every Mother’s day I see so many posts on social media pleading for people to not celebrate Mother’s Day too much lest it offend/trigger some who had a crap mum/can’t be a mum/doesn’t want to be a mum/etc. There were even posts from companies on twitter letting customers know they could opt out of marketing for Mother’s Day if they found it triggering.

Where is the equivalent for Fatber’s Day? Why so much less angst? All I see today are post saying Happy Father’s Day.

I had an email from Superdrug offering me the opportunity to opt out of FD emails, but that has been it.

Men feeling a bit inferiority complexed...

twitter.com/thedailymash/status/1140167289532276736

I'm not sure that the institution of fatherhood is as emotionally loaded.
Not as clickbaity maybe?

What exactly is your complaint OP? Both days are over-hyped marketing nonsense.

Btw the expression is "hand wringing" not hang.

Yes, Lass, thank you for your insightful, as ever, contribution, it was a typo.

My point is that there is a very stark difference between how each day is treated on social media. In one case it is a celebration and in the other it is a warning not to celebrate too much. It is sexism.

My point is that there is a very stark difference between how each day is treated on social media. In one case it is a celebration and in the other it is a warning not to celebrate too much. It is sexism

Is there? As I said both strike me as excuses to persuade people to buy tat.

I think different people might see different amounts of the hand wringing posts depending on their friendship groups.
If you have a lot of virtue signaling friends you will see more.

Could it be as simple as fathers think the day is a load of bullshit so it doesn’t get as hyped up (other than by women for some reason). None of my mates really care for it and would rather it be cancelled.

I think it's an expectation vs reality thing. Being the perfect mother/ having a perfect mother is very heavily reinforced in society. When parents separate, the mother almost always provides the main residence. When parents stay together, the mother almost always provides the main care. The job of supporting children emotionally almost always falls to her. A mother who abandons her children is vilified way beyond men who do the same thing. And in my experience most of the people I know have had better mothers than fathers. The fathers of my friends range from disinterested and lazy but essentially fine, to outright abusive or absent. Only a few have fathers that do or care as much as their mothers (myself included). My father might as well not exist, and it bothers me but not too much because I have low expectations, and part of that is to do with everyone else's fathers being quite shit as well. If everyone else had an amazing father then I think I'd feel that loss much more keenly. So if you have a shit/ absent mum, but you're surrounded by people with great mums and the media pushing the perfect mum trope, I think it must hurt a lot more.

The Daily Mash? That's a satire page and news, it's not real!
As the Trump would say, fake news lol.

Because not knowing or having a relationship with your father is more common and more normalised than not having a relationship with your mother....for whatever reason.

If one wanted to take either day seriously I suppose there is the issue that society acknowledges that failing to conceive/ miscarriage is traumatic and painful for women. Therefore on social media a woman saying Mother's Day is upsetting will be met with a degree of sympathy. There is nothing like the same degree of sympathy for a man who, for whatever reason, has not been able to be a father.

Yup, men get lauded for the little they manage and women get derided for not being %100 perfection?

The Daily Mash? That's a satire page and news, it's not real! I know that my dear! Twas a case of "many a true word spoken in jest"

I think some of us remember when Waitrose did this
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3190799-Waitrose-in-the-Sunday-Times-mothers-day-name-change-announced

And other outlets have since followed suit to be "more inclusive" during mother's Day, but oddly enough Waitrose never bothered with the same for Father's day.

I know that my dear!

That's OK then my love, you had me worried there for a minute as it wasn't clear

*society acknowledges that failing to conceive/ miscarriage is traumatic and painful for women"
That's true, but there aren't the same social pressures put on men to become "breeders".
The "batchelor" has very different (positive) connotations compared to "the spinster".

This was on my local NCT page. Lots of friends have lost fathers so are acknowledging that on fb and some friends acknowledging it's a difficult day for others.

On the whole you are right though OP.

^ Sorry meant to bold Lass's quote

My point is that there is a very stark difference between how each day is treated on social media. In one case it is a celebration and in the other it is a warning not to celebrate too much. It is sexism

Who is making these comments which trouble you so much? I'd guess most are women. As for Mothers ' Day not being celebrated, whilst I think the concepts of Mothers' Day and Fathers' are both utterly ridiculous it is impossible to avoid noticing the ridiculous amount of advertising and promotion which goes on for Mothers' Day. It is less so for Fathers' Day.

I'm really not sure what the point of your thread is beyond - oh here's something else to moan about how hard it is being a woman.

I'm a dad. Father's Day is a load of bollocks.

Every Mother’s day I see so many posts on social media....

There's your problem, OP. Get off it, it's poison. People posting and reposting bullshit instead of getting on with their lives. With Mumsnet being the obvious exception, of course

@ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving

Absolutely, yes

Look at the number of posts were women are moaning about the kids not doing enough for Father’s Day. No mention of what the blokes think, no doubt couldn’t care less. It’s women blow these occasions out of proportion, not men.

Men generally don’t care as much. Similarly birthdays. (In my experience.)

Father’s Day - another day when mothers organise everything, gifts/food/activities. Just like birthdays. Mother’s Day - one day when mothers hope someone else has taken on the emotional load and organised something for them.
(Obviously, namalt, nawalt etc)

But I think OP is meaning fathers are allowed to celebrate their day guilt free whereas mothers need to be sure not to inadvertently upset anyone else through their celebration.