"Working Mother of the year"

[FannyCann]

I'm so angry I could cry. I can't think of anything coherent to say and need to get going to work so I give you "working mother of the year" who is also making big changes at Planned Parenthood.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/transgender-mother-responds-to-being-named-working-mother-of-the-yearbb_5985178

https://www.advocate.com/exclusives/2019/6/12/trans-woman-making-big-changes-planned-parenthood

And who does this 'mother' have actually doing all the mothering while zhe is away being stunning and wonderful?

The article itself is fine and I actually agree with everything said.

But this person is not an everyday working mother, in fact I would think their position would shield them even from real transphobia.

Tiny percentage of the population. Totally out of proportion percentage of women's awards, recognition etc.

Who gave birth to these children? Was it a surrogate or this 'mother's' partner?

I am a working mother. I have been deterred from using the toilets and showers in my workplace because they let anyone (who considers they are female) into this space with us women. Unadapted normal old female toilet stalls.

True it’s not the only massively sexist thing that our management do, but it’s one of the most troubling ones for me personally.

Even if it’s just me feeling this way (I don’t believe that but anyway) I just want to pee in peace too. And that doesn’t allow me to have my pants down or shower naked with any men nearby, however they choose to identify or dress.

Hopefully this award-winning Working Mother isn’t similarly affecting her female coworkers’ sense of anxiety and morale at work? Maybe they dealt with it by having GN toilets and GN showers at these other workplaces. But that takes away a valuable female only space for women.

But aside from that, If the winner has got any tips on being a super mother I would love to hear them. I like to learn from the best. The link I read seemed to be about how normal everything is though? There must be something else- or perhaps they are just being modest about their mothering.

^ that made it sound like I want to pee in the work showers.. what a MN minefield. No I don’t.

Mother: adult human female in a parental role.

This completely minimises the fact that usually working mothers have overcome many obstacles and a major one is working through a pregnancy and returning to work after a major biologically invasive event. Especially if this is in the US where women are not able to have sufficient time off to recover post birthing their child!

What ever her mothering looks like now, and the “amazing job”she is doing, she has fundamentally not done as much as real mothers and therefore shouldn’t be in contention for Mother of the year award. Parent of the year would be more appropriate.

It's a 2014 article. The award seems to be an Activist award given by 'Working Mothers' - which seems to be a LGBT rights site primarily so not surprising. Maybe one of those feminist/womens groups that got taken over.

I maybe wrong - just done some googling on my commute.

Absolutely nothing to do with working mothers. Seems to be just another white, het, wealthy male.

How dare they appropriate the word mother

On the one hand, I'm glad to see here's someone who was very unhappy who through transitioning is now much better. On the other hand, this is just another "true and authentic" AGP narrative.

Privileged white male has stellar career in IT. Fathers a daughter, decides to transition, wife chooses to divorce, transitions, meets new partner (lesbian, ergo in lesbian relationship) who gave birth to daughter no 2. New partner becomes stay-at-home mother.

Served on Obama's LGBT committee. Has spoken at Congress, House of Representatives and a whole range of other high profile occasions.

Privileged career, privileged access to power.

My problem lies in the fact that by accepting this accolade, once again a complete lack of understanding of pressures on women is revealed. The magazine though really likes Stabler, having bestowed at least one previous mother award on this male.

Post op, late transitioning, divorced father of 1, then meets new-hire, much younger lesbian. Marries her (as a male under Texan law apparently while being a fully op transsexual), has a baby (with donated sperm). Birth mum is now a stay at home mum and Stadler is the working mum. How nice.

Also, much was said about how easy & well established the procedure to get UK docs changed was with a GRC. Couldn't get a new UK birth certificate purely because of Texas laws (and hence second marriage also as a male). (Contrast against the literal violence GRC reform cries)

Does Texas allow same-sex marriage? I imagine not.

I'm going to get deleted, aren't I?

Sorry! Completely cross posted with CharlieParley - and you said it so much better!!

A working mother who has never had children?

MangoesAreMyFavourite aah, but you pointed out the most interesting aspect of this story - with several articles faithfully reflecting Stabler's view on just how easy and unproblematic the GRC process is. And the power dynamics between the AGP exec and the much younger lesbian new hire are indeed noteworthy.

Thoughts with the trans widow here.

I can't say anything as I have had a couple of deletions recently.

Actually... I have had a revelation... I cannot believe you are all being so transphobic as to suggest a transgender person isn't actually a mother or a woman. I can't believe you think someone who has never given birth shouldn't be considered the mother. I can't believe that you can't see how wonderful and progressive it is that someone who suffered so long being a man is now able to be a working mother giving the opportunity to the incubator to do the stay at home stuff.

Progress is such a fantastic thing, isn't it dancingcamper ??

The whole point of 'working mums' is that they combine a job with pregnancy, childbirth, looking after kids etc. A 'working dad' is a different concept. This individual is a working dad.

I had 2 children in the space of 14 months. BF both and had to go straight back into full time employment. My job is no walk in the park. Having to do a physical competency test while leaking milk was a real low. I've got some health issues caused by child birth and it's a real struggle to give my all at work then at home but I do. I know many on here will have similar stories. Now whenever life gets us bog standard working mums down we can think of what a fucking inspiration that brave and stunning working mother of the year is and crack on with a cheery smile.

Sorry your leaking milk story is too terfy and biological. Don't you know that stunning and brave working mothers have a SAHM looking after the infant while also cutting lunches and warming slippers for them?

*The whole point of 'working mums' is that they combine a job with pregnancy, childbirth, looking after kids etci

I’m not sure I 100% agree with this. Women who have adopted children could still be working mothers.

What’s indisputable to me is to be a working mother you have to be a woman.

Finally got back here. I was huffing and puffing as I reread the original article and DH made the mistake of asking me what I was cross about. Triggering a full on rant. I hadn't noticed that the article was from 2014 when I posted but that just makes me crosser. I only woke up to this shit early last year, how did I miss the Working Mother of the Year award 2014 and all the accompanying celebrations of newly found authentic selves?

"Actually, it’s not. I’m just like any other mom, be she single, partnered or married: I’m planning meals, balancing budgets, figuring out how to encourage my child to enjoy reading, and juggling my schedule to accommodate taking my daughter to the doctor when she’s sick. While most of the U.S. puts a label on who I am, both at home and in the workplace, to myself I’m just a working mother."

Reads just like any other Hello magazine drivel and of course when it comes from a high ranking executive with a team of nannies and cleaners, well they aren't just like any other Mum are they? But throw in being a man with a stay at home mother who presumably does most of those things like taking the child to the doctor and probably cooking a meal to be ready for when the "working Mother of the year" comes home from work, well it's just piling on insult to injury.

And that's without any of the business about who is the actual mother, who carried a baby for nine months and gave birth and all the rest of it.

It's just so sickening.