I didn't think the orgasms thing made sense. We saw earlier in the episode when his son kicked him that he felt the kick on his real body. So any orgasm induced by the game would still have been experienced as a male orgasm because he only has male genitals regardless of the avatar he is playing.
We paused the episode at this point (description of female orgasm vs male) to discuss this issue. It is completely illogical and made zero sense... our genitalia and male genitalia can't possibly experience the opposite sensations - nerve endings yada yada yada.
The idea of VR avatars giving men the perception that they 'can actually know' how it feels to be a woman is a scary slippery slope we don't need in light of the current TRA narratives. Because of course a highly sexualized avatar without any female biological pinnings is the 'female experience'.
The male characters denied their same sex attraction except when in VR but felt romantic love towards each other IRL. The wife character had resigned to the idea that she was not appealing to her husband - her body and looks had failed her. Her character said (paraphrasing) she gave up passion for marriage. The male characters were so uncomfortable with their reality that they found more passion and sexual drive as avatars than real people. I walked away feeling like the portrayal was homo=bad/awkward,trans=good/preferred, hetero=yawn/dispassionate. The two of them as avatars was much preferred over their real life bodies for sex - that gay was awkward and wrong but the two of them pounding it out as a hetero coupling was not only preferred but acceptable. Meanwhile the wife goes out to meet a stranger for a passionate encounter. The woman put herself in a potentially dangerous real life situation (picking up a stranger) while her husband sat safely at home in VR avatar form fucking his lover/friend. How fucked is this?
The wife was good enough to live with, to have children, to have sex, to "love", but she is not good enough for passion even though she is an actual woman. The passion was stuffing male avatar genitals into female avatar genitals (a contrived version of woman). Real women are good for the heavy lifting but fucking your buddy in VR woman-face is preferred for sexual gratification - I mean it's transcendent isn't it? Ah having your cake and eating it too... passionately in love with your buddy and settling for day-to-day with your wife. Celebrated misogyny, all for men and men for men!
We usually enjoy Black Mirror - we see it as a modern day take on the Twilight Zone (which we have both loved since childhood). This episode was disappointing - acting was decent but the story was lame. We both felt irritated at the end and turned to sci-fi for creative and intellectual relief.