DV Select Committee contributor wants to browse adult sites on train wifi

[BrightonReSisters]

By now you've probably all seen, or at least heard about, Karen Ingala Smith's wonderful contribution to the Women & Equalities Select Committee yesterday. If not, you can see it here:

parliamentlive.tv/event/index/0d07ff13-636e-4b51-a946-2877e583dc4c

You may NOT have seen this re one of the other contributors, Diana James. Diana works with refuges in the south West. On the train to the Select Committee yesterday, Diana wanted to shop online for sex toys. Diana wasn't happy that GWR blocked the online sex toy shop from their WiFi, due to the adult nature of their products. We know this because Diana publicly tweeted to GWR to complain.

That Diana thinks it appropriate to visit an adult site on a public train is disturbing. That Diana thinks it's a good idea to broadcast this publicly is odd. That Diana thought GWR would bow down to Diana's demand to access adult content on their WiFi is downright bizarre.

Diana was invited to give evidence about provision of services for survivors of domestic violence and that makes behaviour even more worrying than if we were talking about a teenage boy or suited commuter.

Diana can of course do as Diana pleases within the bounds of the law. That said, this is a red flag.

When someone in Diana's position thinks this kind of behaviour is appropriate we must ask questions. The first question is probably the most obvious: why ask a this person, with questionable boundaries, to speak for vulnerable abuse survivors?

It's a small mercy that at least GWR seem to have their heads screwed on.

Highly recommended viewing

parliamentlive.tv/event/index/0d07ff13-636e-4b51-a946-2877e583dc4c

Wow! Just that really.

Imagine being the poor social media administrator having to come up with a polite way to tell another adult that looking at a sex you website on public transport is a bit pervy...

There is quite a bit of chat about this on the thread about KIS in parliamen5 thread and how James behaved in the hearing as well

But ffs imagine boasting you are on the way to a Meeting like the one James was going to and moanin* about not being able to access. On public WiFi a sex shop

It’s just awful behaviour and all me me

So telling. I've been to a select committee and I'm more important than you.

I was at that too. Does this individual have no self awareness whatsoever?

Apparently not itsall. GWR Andy's response was an absolute gem tho

It's theoretically shocking that someone who works with refuges - where children are a massive part of the brief - clearly has no concept of safeguarding at all, or appropriate boundaries, and is either oblivious to others around them, or does not intend to let the needs of others or society in general in any way impinge upon their immediate gratification.

However my shockometre is long since broken, as one after another, they do the whole showing you who they are. I believe them.

How many women browse sex toy sites in public?

That is incredibly unusual behaviour.

Agree with other comments.

Well. This all seems very bizarre. Is there a key part of this story that I am missing...?

I'd say you're missing a google image search and the phrase "they just cannot help themselves" ChattyLion.

What sort of work does Diana do at refuges? Are these refuges for abused women?

How does that correlate with expecting women on public transport to be comfortable with you perusing sex shops?

Seriously. I absolutely cannot get my head around this.

I don't believe that someone who has empathy for abused women would do this. Ever. Then publicly complain. And then when told no, it's inappropriate, by the service provider, say that's not good enough.

What on earth is going on?

"Diana James, a domestic abuse survivor who works with refuge services in south-west England, said she was "optimistic" about the plans but concerned about how it would be put into practice, particularly for LGBT people."

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48249330

What woman would be browsing sex toy shops on the train and then moan at the train company that they were blocked from doing that

And then tweet about it that it was porn shaming. Ffs

Guessing that porn sites are also blocked on public train WiFi for a good reason

PORN SHAMING

Nobody anywhere public needs to see other ppls porn viewing stuff or sex toy browsing

They should actually be ashamed that they thought this was appropriate behaviour

I wonder whether porn sites are blocked at the refuges that this person works at? It really comes to something when someone like this gets to work with the most vulnerable women and children - women who have been repeatedly physically abused and often sexually abused. Not to mention what has happened to the children. And then these women and children are confronted with someone who cannot manage a journey on pubic transport without viewing porn

Despite the safeguarding red flags all over this - a women's refuge reckoned that James was an appropriate person to represent the organisation. How can this happen?

public transport - although in the light of their preferred viewing .....

Haha not just porn shaming, but evidently attempted shaming of all those thousands of women who pass the time on train journeys browsing for sex toys.

The connection to reality must be hair-thin.

Or, as someone said yesterday, a basic male dominance display.

I can wave my inappropriate sex interests right in the faces of women and children and everyone else around me any time I want and you can't stop me .

Spot the Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Not on Twitter but is anyone sending 'well said' messages to GWR?

So weird.

Even if we gave totally benefit of the doubt and said, this is something that would have been totally private just making a purchase, no chance of anyone else on the train noticing - who would complain about not being able to do it?

Surely an adult could understand that it is impossible to block inappropriate things on a case by case basis, that it will always be approximate decisions, that some things in public really aren't appropriate or other people won't be careful enough, and that it's just not a big deal to not be able to purchase a vibrator while you are on the train.

These people really do seem to act like they have personality disorders. And there have always been people like that, but I wonder now how it seem that they have really infiltrated all of these significant positions and roles in advocacy and other similar types of work.

In my own sphere of movement, which isn't related to TRA stuff or even women's stuff, I see the same thing. And it is as if people are too afraid to call certain people out or shut them down or say they are inappropriate. Often because they have some kind of identity group designation but also, it almost seems like people think the personality disorder itself makes them special and needing to be accommodated.

I feel like saying that sounds cruel, and I have some family members with personality disorders and they are actually vulnerable in certain ways. But putting them in situations where their manipulative behaviours can harm themselves and others does not make sense and it isn't kind.

I'll porn shame until the cows come home. I day give a fuck who doesn't like it. You shouldn't be using public wifi to pick your sex toys, and you should be shamed for even trying.

Goose, you might find The Psychopath Test interesting reading, its on Amazon. Looks a lot at how many people who score highly have made it into top level public positions.