I'm gender-critical and I only have one head and no forked tail

[usernamepinched]

Apologies if it's been done before. Getting a bit fed-up with hearing about how dreadful (and other stronger words) gender-critical feminists are and thought it might be illuminating for us all to share a bit about ourselves (nothing too identifying) to demonstrate our very ordinariness.

Hi, my name is *usernamepinched' and I am a gender-critical feminist. I am married, work part-time and have children. I am neither too right nor too left in my politics. I have never been in trouble with the police. I have never been violent. I hate to upset people and will go out of my way to be friendly. But I don't believe TWAW.

Hello. I am waterlego and I am gender critical. I am really non-confrontational and have never had a fight or a shouty argument in my whole life. I’m a life long leftie and have often been called a ‘bleeding-heart liberal/idealist’. I always support the ‘underdog’ and spend a great deal of time worrying about upsetting people.

My favourite things are tea, beer and dogs. And I don’t believe TWAW.

I’m a mum. I have always been gender critical, if a bit bloody stupid when I was at uni. I was a ‘tomboy’ when I was a child, but have never wanted to be a boy. Being me is hard enough as it is.

I consider myself to be human and have a nice little home for me and my daughter. I do woodwork and sewing.

I think what scares me most is that I'd be transed if I was a child now 😕 I'm not trans but growing up being a boy seemed preferable and I'm what used to be called a tomboy.

Me too. A lot of people who know me now thing I am very gender conforming. Which is kind of a shallow analysis, but whatever.
As a kid though I not only wanted to be a boy, I claimed for a long time that I was a boy, and refused to do things I thought were girly. It abated around the time I became interested in boys, but then I hated the changes of puberty and would have done anything to get out of it.

Looking back I think it would have been horrible if someone had told me I actually could be a boy. It was probably even a good thing that my mother occasionally insisted I wore girly outfits, it made it clear that really, clothes don't make you who you are.

I am proud of DH. He has not really engaged GC stuff, though has a specific concern about Stonewall’s conflict of interest as both a lobbying organisation and one which provides policy advice and training.

However last week in the diversity section of some sort of work form, he ticked “other” when asked which gender he identified with. He said he knew he was born male, and would have been happy to tick male had the question asked him his sex. But gender identification was a whole different question and he was not sure of the extent to which he identified with traditional stereotypes of masculinity. Yay!

Yay, welcome one and all! Needmoresleep your husband sounds great. Mine has also started to think more critically to what is happening around him, even though it does not directly affect him. He is starting to see things through my eyes and he is very disturbed about the future for our children.

Anyway, this she-devil has helped the children with their homework, made dinner and put the little darlings to bed. The man of the house (huh!) has cleared up the kitchen and read a story.

Enjoy your evenings normal and everyday ladies. Keep fighting the good fight for normality and facts to reign supreme.

Hi. I’m Xeno and I’d love a forked tail.

I am female and decidedly middle aged. I ’knew‘ I wanted to be a boy, my very earliest memories are of not wanting to wear a dress or play dollies with the girls. I was 100% tomboy who had very few female friends and as a kid the pinnacle of achievement for me would be to mistaken for a boy.

I would most certainly have been transed if I’d been born 20 yrs later. I had one family member very determined to medicalise my shameful abnormalities. And I totally internalised that and would have definitely researched what I needed to say to get treatment.

I’ve been badly bullied for being odd (so what Stonewall like to call transphobic bullying) but I’ve also been subject to all the usual sex based discrimination that women put up with as background noise. And I realised as i got older that I absolutely cannot identity out of that. (Fuck knows I tries when I was younger)

Im bi, but look like a butch lesbian. I never wear ‘girly’ clothes, and have an extreme short haircut. But Im married to a man and have kids.

This quote rings so true for me I wasn't interested in feminism when I was young because I didn't see how being a woman held me back. It hadn't at that point. Then I saw and experienced the real workplace

Because of my appearance so ive had bullshit discrimination from all sides. But by far the most damaging and insidious has been the mummytracking of my professional career. Despite me taking minimal maternity leave to go back full time.

The trans agenda thing scares me. Those of us who have lived our lives ignoring gender stereotypes are going to catch the brunt of the backlash.

Ace thread.

Another v normal GC person here. Very much aware of my female socialisation. I'm very kind and considerate. Always seek to mediate and respect the other person's point of view. My instinct is to defend and protect the vulnerable.

I really think the root cause of all of this is a toxic masculinity which doesn't accept gender non-conforming males. It's onmipresent. And it makes me want to defend and protect men of any age who don't feel comfortable in their own skin. They deserve kindness, compassion and acceptance.

Toxic masculinity is the problem.

Transwomen are Transwomen. They deserve every kindness and respect afforded to everyone else. It may be that they need their own spaces for their comfort and safety.

Although actually what we really need is more acceptance so that everyone feels safe. And lots more gender non-conforming role models.

Back to my normal person credentials. I live a very normal and boring life. Tonight I'm going to have poached eggs on a bagel for tea.

(forgot to add lots of respect to gender non-conforming females too- it's just that they don't tend to become aggressive TRAs)

Hiya!

I'm American, living in Florida - I have lived in 31 of the US states. I'm a reluctant 42yr old (feel 20-something, but gracious for the ongoing wisdom acquisition as I age). I am a political orphan - never Republican sometimes Democrat. DH is a gem - we are a team - no children, just dogs. I'm bisexual - DH is on the male short-list of partners while my past female partners are part of a long-list. My profession is in the finance/valuation sector - heavily male-dominated.

I love people (and animals) - known and strangers. I am open, affectionate, kind, and compassionate. I am a thinker, a pragmatist, and an atheist. I'm not any of these things for a reward, I am all of these things because I want to leave this life/world better than I found it and because it's the personality that I've formed over my relatively short life. My efforts and actions are grounded in this life and are not deposits towards an eternal life.

My feminism began to blossom in Montessori school when we learned the story of Adam and Eve. I was militantly opposed to the idea that woman came from man's rib and was defined (and named) by man - it was a lie I was able to see through from the age of 5yr old. There is a wealth of amusing and somewhat disheartening stories from my childhood about my rejection of Roman Catholicism (pre and post sexual abuse).

Having a manboy (16yr old, my babysitter) wield the power of his penis and violate my body at 5yr old while my infant brother lay six feet away in his crib made the male/female power dynamic very clear to me from a very young age.

As a child I "wanted to be treated like a boy" not because I hated being a girl but because I wanted the privileges the boys had i.e. bicycle riding topless and wearing trousers (instead of skirt) and sneakers (instead of dress shoes) to school. Being told that creepy people touching me was "just their way" and to not "take offense" while being taught that I had right to assert boundaries... juxtaposed against boys asserting their boundaries and being respected and celebrated for being "little men". This didn't make me a boy or transgender it made me a little girl that felt female oppression from the moment she began to form cohesive thoughts.

Things I was told constantly as a child (by family other than my mom):

• You are so pretty, you don't need to be smart
• Be polite and nice (i.e. keep your mouth shut when you are uncomfortable)
• You will have the most beautiful babies!!!
• If you keep dressing like that no man will want you (as a teen), you need to get married before you're too old and lose your looks

Things I was told by my mom:

• "If you get fat I will tie you to the back of my bicycle and pull you around the track until your fat falls off"
• You are smart and can do/be anything
• Never bow, submit, or upend your life for a man

Lots of conflicting messages paired with media teaching me to hate my body and hate myself because I didn't fit the mold. My lack of subservience was vile my independence was conceited and my lack of need for a man equalled hating men. I identified with Lilith and John Merrick (Elephant Man) - I was a powerful being trapped in an oppressed body.

At 18yr old I was raped and fell pregnant. The yells of "whore", "baby killer", "sinner" echoed through my being as I walked into the abortion clinic. The power dynamic had never been more clear - a man violated my body and I was the sinner for self-care post-rape. A man abused my body and mind but I was merely an object conceptualized - born to be abused... and by aborting a cluster of cells I forfeited my humanity and deserved to die.

By the time I became a professional sexual harassment was par for the course, it was disruptive and infuriating but a fact of being a woman in the workplace. While fighting it for my subordinates I accepted it for myself as I had to keep my hard-won seat at the table to shield the women behind me. I picked my battles focusing only on those that would benefit the women behind me and exorcised my sexual harassment demons by sacrificing them at the alter of exercise. I don't think my approach is right but it is what I felt was most beneficial as suing or losing my seat would leave my subordinates without recourse or support.

TLDR;

I refuse to allow men to define me. I refuse to allow men to steal and defile the words I use to define my existence. Subservience is not my creed. Men will not take being a woman from me... woman is not a feeling it is an existence separate and different from man.

I don't know what normal or ordinary means as a woman. I am a woman because I am a female and am oppressed as a result of my biology. I am no more or less valid than any other woman. Objectification, marginalization, and oppression... all things humans can and do feel are not indicative of womanhood, men can never 'become' women and have no inkling of what feeling like a woman means any more than I do. Sometimes I 'feel' like a whale, sometimes I 'feel' like a butterfly - feelings are conceptual, being a woman is not.

I am a radical feminist because I believe a dismantling of harmful social structures codified into law is necessary to protect and uplift girls/women.

I was around for the first go-round of radical feminism in the 70s.

My understanding at that time and still is that radical feminism grew out of Engels’ work in the origin of patriarchy, with more work done by scholars like Gerda Lerner.

Radical in this context meant “root” and the understanding is/was that the origins of male subjugation lay in male ability/need to control women as “the means of reproduction” in order to ensure patrilineal inheritance and the beginnings of wealth accumulation passed on through generations. They were able to control us due to physiological strength advantage combined with our vulnerability due to constant pregnancy and/or nursing.

That control over our reproduction expanded to control over us for purposes of sexual and domestic labour. It is in this way that men as a class (not necessarily as individuals) oppress women as a class: they take fromus the fruits of our reproductive, sexual, and domestic labour.

That understanding, in radical feminism of the 70s, led to an analysis that prioritized and focused on:

1. full female control over reproduction.

2. ending pornography and prostitution

3. completely refashioning how domestic labour is performed and shared, with much greater recognition that domestic labour and the raising of children has value, is necessary, and must be supported by the entire community

And the biggest of all: ending male violence, because it is male violence that undergirds their ability as a class to exploit women.

I’m retired, parent of 4 adults, immigrant parents a 1st generation homeowner, a semi, not a McMansion. My life has been affected by mental health issues, addiction and child abuse in my family . I’m raising a traumatised teenager who thinks she has a boys brain.. I knew nothing of these issues. I have been so shocked by the misogyny of TRAs and their allies. I would rather be gardening.

Hello, I'm Fleetsum, married to a lovely man, middle-aged (as long as I live until I am 120 ) and I am GC. Three children, 2 grandkids, part time job and politically homeless. Community volunteer, on the parish council. Love my garden, and tea.

And according to some, I am a terf* bigot and should die in a grease fire.

*hate to use that word but sadly, was appropriate

I’m a single parent and DV survivor. I am in a relatively senior public sector role and seen as expert in my field. I joined the Labour Party at 17 and was an activist and officer right up to the point I was blacklisted and threatened with doxxing by a person who styles themself Women’s Officer. I am gender critical, so are my daughters, and we will not be silenced.

Middle aged Aussie mum, always voted left. First and second wave always made sense to me. I like reading, walking and good tv. All of my teen/young adult kids have gay/bi sexualities, and they are 100% accepted and cherished, as are their g/b/friends.

Two of mine have also been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, which I am told by (not gonna put a name here, medical professional, high up, in this area, treats my kid) is a very low hanging fruit indeed.

Cannot handle the cognitive dissonance involved in pretending that girls are really boys and vice versa. Loathe TRA activism in its current state, but would absolutely stand with transsexual people against workplace and housing discrimination.

Wear what you like, grow your hair/cut your hair, make yourself up or don't - just don't mindf*ck me with your gender nonsense.

Utterly agender myself - no inner sense of gender identity, no inner sense of 'rightness' at being a woman. I know I'm a woman because I have a female body, part of the sex class that gestates, and it is what it is, because reality is immutable.

Off to buy groceries now. After I hang out the laundry, and before I do my part time job. No tail, one head, but I do often growl at the sheer stupidity of gender ideology.

Hi
Another middle aged mum, work in IT, bi but happily married to a man for 15years. Having children and seeing how visciously gendered marketing had become is what pushed me to be gender critical properly (it’s not all about trans)
I’ve a horrific history of bullying at school/college which made me conflict averse and overly empathetic and people pleasing. Have been active in sci-fi and anime fandoms for 20+ years so saw the origins of this madness and can’t believe we’re making laws to support livejournal and tumblr craziness!
I wasn’t a committed feminist because I didn’t feel comfortable with a lot of what my libfem friends believed (like sex work is empowering). Reading about radical feminism gave me the tools and language to express myself and my reservations. It was truly empowering and I am now a strong feminist.
Nowadays I’ve reached the age of too tired for this bs and it’s very liberating. I will fight for my children and others against this crazy gender ideology.

Welcome one (headed ladies) and all! So pleased to see that we are just a normal cross-section of society, not some crazed terrorist organisation.

I thought I'd mention, that before a few years ago I would never have come across the following:

Kiwifarms
Furries
MAP
Twitter storms
anything other than LGB
Other people's sexual proclivities being made public and a reason for treating them differently (seems a backward bloody step!).

It's been an education.

LangCleg. Owner of saggy tits. Would prefer not to be dragged off by them, thanksverymuch Manchester Pride. Couldn't give a shit what the men think.

Middle aged Mum with a son, radical feminist but still like men - #notallmen. I didn't know we weren't supposed to.

That's the thing TheInebriati, 'we' doesn't exist, we are not a group, we are just every day women who think the current situation sucks. I've never considered myself a radical feminist, or any sort of feminist, hell I didn't even know what a feminist was until a few years ago. I thought it was some outdated of it's time thing from the 70's when there wasn't equal pay etc.... How ignorant was I.

But we are organising, as seen on twitter and on the various websites and crowdfunding initiatives. It does feel like the tide is turning.

I'm GC. I'm also married to a lovely man, I like men and women (I like people basically) and believe men and women have different but overlapping skills. I have no problem with anyone who wants to dress like the 'opposite' sex to which they were born, but don't believe TWAW or that you can change your sex.

I still remember having to get my husband's permission and signature to submit my tax retirn, and being turned down for a job 'because the men wouldn't like it'. I did march for women (in the 70s) and, for the first time since then, would march again.

I would also add, that I wanted to be a boy growing up because they got go-carts, meccano and to play cricket. I also liked being a girl as I could also wear pretty dresses, although it was never insisted on (thank goodness!). I feel very fortunate that I wasn't subjected to the relentless pressure girls now are of having to be 'pretty' and 'sexy'.

These days, I see the clock winding back and Gilead coming ever closer.

Off to google Gilead

Welcome Jaxhog, I forgot my manners.

I am a PTA chair with a 4 by 4 and a Golden Retriever, wear Boden and Hush a lot.
My politics are generally right leaning and I used to think that Feminism wasnt something that was relevant to me or really necessary.

I also think that biology is biology and that although you can ask to be treated a certain way as a courtesy it’s impossible to actually change sex