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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Naked Yoga and Cuddle Parties: Lap Dancing Clubs for the Woke

67 replies

AlwaysComingHome · 16/05/2019 23:15

Interesting article on Quillette that confirms most of what we think about Woke Bros:

As a journalist writing about weird workshops and unusual classes I’ve covered cuddle parties, rope-binding, naked yoga, and tantra, to name but a few. These classes are popular with the hipsters who are colonising Hackney Wick and other areas of East London in the throes of gentrification. And with each event I cover, I become more suspicious that these “alternative” workshops are simply a way for apparently progressive men to gawp at women—lap dancing clubs for the woke...

quillette.com/2019/05/15/naked-yoga-and-cuddle-parties-lap-dancing-clubs-for-the-woke/

OP posts:
StopThePlanet · 21/05/2019 17:01

hoodathunkit

Thank you so much for all the time you took to write your posts and include links as starting points for research.

I have the day off and I am now going down the rabbit hole you have provided.

GraceMarks · 21/05/2019 19:39

Oh look, it's in the Guardian:

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/17/my-life-in-sex-the-man-who-goes-to-cuddle-parties

What irritates me about this is that, although the "author" claims these cuddle parties aren't sexual, it's in the My Life in Sex series and he actually hooked up with his "current primary partner" at one, so hmmm, chinny reckon. I'd bet my house that he's into nude yoga as well.

Goosefoot · 21/05/2019 20:15

What is the difference between many of the comments on this thread and victim blaming?

I don't know. I do't like it when the term victim blaming is used too broadly.
If you say someone was responsible for her assault because she wore sexy club clothes, that's victim blaming. People are responsible for what they do, though that can be mitigated in various ways.

If you say, women wearing sexy club clothes are being influenced by a set of stereotypes or an industry that sexualises women for its own gain, and that when we buy into it we are part of a culture of sexualisation within which sexual assaults happen, it's not victim blaming, it's making a proposition about how influence and power moves in society.

There is a point where those two things come together in an individual though. Maybe the teen who buys into that really doesn't get it, is simply being influenced by the culture at large, is a victim of its view of women. But is that true of, say, Madonna? Is she a victim, or has she chosen to support that because she benefits from it?

Well, who knows, I don't know Madonna, and maybe not everyone likes my particular example. But women are generally speaking also people who have some level of responsibility for their actions, they do have some real agency.

I think a lot of these women are likely horribly naive, and probably some of the men as well. But it is also the kind of thing where adults are capable of employing agency, there really is not huge social pressure to go to naked yoga.

DrG · 21/05/2019 21:58

It’s hardly victim blaming to come to the conclusion that you must be a bit soft in the head not to stop and ponder why you’re one of a handful of women in a room full of leery men at the naked yoga session...

Lumene · 22/05/2019 21:38

If you say, women wearing sexy club clothes are being influenced by a set of stereotypes or an industry that sexualises women for its own gain, and that when we buy into it we are part of a culture of sexualisation within which sexual assaults happen, it's not victim blaming, it's making a proposition about how influence and power moves in society.

Any proposition about how power moves in society that suggests women wearing sexy clothes leads to sexual assaults just makes me think of the narratives so often unpicked on the DV threads here.

I agree with your other point about the overuse of victim blaming though.

Goosefoot · 22/05/2019 22:25

Any proposition about how power moves in society that suggests women wearing sexy clothes leads to sexual assaults just makes me think of the narratives so often unpicked on the DV threads here.

Not unpicked successfully, IMO.

You can't separate sexual assault, overall, from cultural sexualisation of women. Clothing is one way women's sexualised position in our consciousness is introduced, maintained, and reinforced. In the minds of women and girls and boys and men. That attitude which sees women as sexual objects rather than persons is part of why sexual assault happens, is allowed to happen, and is not seen as important when it does happen.

Now, yes, that is a generalisation, any specific incident will have its own set of particular circumstances. But people's minds don't put these things in discrete boxes.

hoodathunkit · 24/05/2019 13:33

It’s hardly victim blaming to come to the conclusion that you must be a bit soft in the head not to stop and ponder why you’re one of a handful of women in a room full of leery men at the naked yoga session...

By "soft in the head" do you mean "groomed" or "brainwashed" or some other thing?

hoodathunkit · 24/05/2019 13:38

I have the day off and I am now going down the rabbit hole you have provided.

Please be extremely careful

I have said that these networks are dangerous many times but people very often don't listen

Just to make it very clear, I would strongly suggest that women do not go to these kinds of events for research purposes. Signing up for newsletters and downloading files is not recommended

Thank you so much for the kind words, I often feel that my kind of feminism is very different to that of many of the women posting here

I hope that we can all educate ourselves about the dangers to women that these groups pose

RuffleCrow · 24/05/2019 13:53

A lot of younnger women mistake being lusted after for being liked. They want the latter but they'll settle for the former. Or at least i did pre kids. No naked yoga back then thankfully

hoodathunkit · 24/05/2019 13:58

A lot of younnger women mistake being lusted after for being liked.

Absolutely

Also we live in a selfie obsessed era where how many followers you have on social media is perceived as indicative of your worth.

Just wanted to add a fascinating link about the history of yoga, I will be posting much more about yoga later, pushed for time right now

<a class="break-all" href="https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:DSjygU59Xu4J:jfdeters.wordpress.com/2014/06/18/the-myth-of-yoga/+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk&client=safari" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:DSjygU59Xu4J:jfdeters.wordpress.com/2014/06/18/the-myth-of-yoga/+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk&client=safari

OvaHere · 24/05/2019 14:06

This type of stuff immediately makes me think of cults. Every documentary I've watched about a cult has featured elements of mixed sex group nakedness as an exercise in 'empowerment'. They always turn out to be abusive and part of wider mind control tactics.

A recent Louis Theroux documentary on Polyamory in Portland featured one of these parties. The whole thing was incredibly awkward and Louis looked so uncomfortable.

hoodathunkit · 24/05/2019 16:13

Apologies for a flying post, running late

his type of stuff immediately makes me think of cults. Every documentary I've watched about a cult has featured elements of mixed sex group nakedness as an exercise in 'empowerment'.

Actually, when it comes to retreats (where people are at extreme risk of brainwashing) the typical retreat divides couples into single sex groups

The women are trained in how to awaken your inner goddess / feminine essence via erotic dance, sexual skills, massage, and surrendering to men

The men are trained to awaken their inner warrior / sexual rockstar whatever

After a period of training in accepting gender stereotypes as natural and empowering men and women meet for a collective shagfest (amy happen in separate rooms)

routinely promoted are

non-monogamy (if your partner wants a monogamous relationship you will be encouraged to lie to him / her about your sexual life)

not getting involved emotionally / romantically with your partner during sex as this impedes your connecting with the divine during the sexual act

no more time / more later

DrG · 24/05/2019 18:28

By "soft in the head" do you mean "groomed" or "brainwashed" or some other thing?

I meant a bit stupid and or gullible. Adult women with vulnerabilities can of course be groomed to attend such ‘classes’ but I suspect a portion are just a bit stupid and somehow think that anything which is pushing boundaries is liberating/edgy/cool.

I suspect many of us have been there in some way or another, most of us get to wise up relatively unscathed, thankfully.

Lumene · 25/05/2019 16:45

That attitude which sees women as sexual objects rather than persons is part of why sexual assault happens, is allowed to happen, and is not seen as important when it does happen.

So are men dressing sexily encouraging women to sexually assault them too by your theory?

TeiTetua · 26/05/2019 17:59

I really don't think men have a recognised way of "dressing sexily" in our society. Whatever a man tries to do in that direction is more likely to be taken as threatening, or just plain ridiculous.

hoodathunkit · 08/06/2019 13:39

The narratives re victim blaming and cults are nuanced and complex and I would like to explore them in more detail, however I just quickly wanted to share a video that resonate with the issue of women being persuaded that our reproductive organs are polluted and haunted by phantoms of past actions.

I have mentioned this narrative here before in relation to claims to be able to heal women of trauma linked to rape and child sexual abuse via intimate massage.

The video below has English subtitles and the speaker claims that abortions leave phantom babies behind in the womb that harm the woman and any children born from subsequent pregnancies.

This concept is cruel and completely insane. Obviously

I found the video after going down several rabbit holes linking the misogynist life coaches Nicki and Tony Vee to an organisation called Inspire'd to some extremely shady women's empowerment organisations linked to the Unification Church aka the Moonies and to other controversial religious movements.

Will post more later when I have a moment

ChateauMyself · 02/03/2020 21:19

The mindalia woman was interesting...

A nice mix of religious ideas - spirt/ether babies (can find these ideas within Catholicism and Mormonism)

& guilt tripping woman for owning their reproductive rights (abortion / map)

Who are mindalia Hood? New Age drivel or roots in Catholicism?

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