Reposting the question from @grasspigeons on the “Gender stereotypes hold us all back” thread, because it's important.
Question
Gender stereotyping in early childhood is something that i have 'battled' against with my sons and had some success. However, society is incredibly uncomfortable with boys who want to do sterotypically girlish things and my sons are aware of and limited by that. I am genuinley afraid that i have done my autistic child in particular a disservice by encouraging him to not worry about gender stereotypes due to the gingerbread presentation shown at schools suggesting that your brain might be a girls brain in a boys body if you like certain things. How can initiatives to limit gender sterotyping in early childhood work alongside positive affirmation and puberty blockers for those who already chose non sterotypical activities.
Answer
GrassPigeons, I obviously don’t need to tell you this as you’re already out there challenging gender stereotypes, but not all boys who want to wear dresses, or girls who are a “tomboy”, are trans, lesbian, bi or gay. We need to be much more comfortable as a society in encouraging children not to conform to gender stereotypes, and in not putting them into boxes when they do. Not conforming with gender stereotypes is not the same as being trans , and that’s important to say.
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Yeh, thanks FS, we know that already. The problem is the fear that someone will encourage our GNC children to ID as trans because they're GNC. If you haven't heard the term "egg" yet, it's used to describe trans people (kids mostly) who haven't "realised" they're trans yet. There are some reddit forums on it, where people help "hatch" their egg friends or relatives (usually an older teen encouraging a younger kid to believe they're trans). I've attached an "egg bingo card" which helps you spot someone who needs to be "hatched". Includes "Tomboy", "periods are gross", and "prefers male jeans because they have pockets". Just google "egg bingo" there are so many of them, all based on awful stereotypes.
The FS need to understand that it is actively dangerous for our children to be GNC in the current climate. Of course wanting jeans with pockets doesn't make you a bloody boy, but there are people out there actively goading GNC kids into believing they're trans, and children with ASD are most at risk.
I thought it'd be useful if anyone who has a GNC kid and has had someone (friends, family, school etc) suggest they might be trans, to post their story here so we can try to get the message through the heads of the FS.